This Guy Badly Needs a New Twitter Handle

Absolute glutton for punishment. 

You've gotta be a serious sadomasichist or have some serious thick skin to rock that Twitter handle. And honestly, they guy doesn't look like either, so I'm assuming he's foreign.

Probably has no idea why his @ mentions are blowing up daily with some serious hate tweets:

Celts, Heat Game Four Wrap Up: Crying to Referees in Transition

Suck on that Lebron. Serious question, how soon after the game did Lebron call David Stern to cry about fouling out? I mean did you see his post game interview, just sat there and point blank said "I don't foul out, I don't foul out, I don't foul out." Bron-Bron or one of his boys was probably blowing up the commish's Blackberry for hours after the game, crying like a little bitch that the Heat had to play these last two games straight up with no advantage from the refs.

I mean, that was the difference between the two games, Rondo said it as matter of factly as he could:

It's as simple as that. When there isn't an advantage one way or the other (and mind you that's not me saying the ref's were good this game, they sucked, but they sucked somewhat equally at least) the Celts are the better team. Which is unfathomable considering that in the absence of Avery Bradley, Keyon Dooling and Marquise Daniels are getting serious minutes, but it's absolutely true.

You can see it in the first half. The Celtics are the superior team. They've laid the wood to Miami in 3 out of the 4 games in the first half. Yes they're giving it right back up in the 3rd quarter every game, but I'd contend that's more of a old legs vs new legs issue. When both teams are fresh and right out the gate, the Celts are dominant. Dominant. If this was little league the C's would have mercy ruled the Heat in games 2 thru 4 at the half time buzzer. It's been amazing to watch.

And yet, I still can't get over game 2. That non-call for Rondo still just sticks right in my craw. Simply put, Rondo gets that call, Boston's up 3-1 and Lebron's out shopping for fresh underwear after pissing through every pair he owns...Kinda like he did last night, you know, when he passed the ball to Udonis Freaking Haslem for the last shot of regulation.

Just like Coach Olestra drew it up I'm sure.

Just Your Average Day in Brockton, Gang Fights Break Out During High School Graduation

Boston - Seven men were arrested after three fights broke out at the Brockton High School graduation ceremony Friday, police said. Police are investigating what sparked the fights, but believe they were gang-related, Brockton said Police Lieutenant William Hallisey...The first fight broke out at 7:20 p.m. in a corner of the field as school administrators, unfazed, continued calling the names of the graduates, Hallisey said. “They didn’t miss a beat, they just kept naming the names,” Hallisey said. 

Just keep doing you Brockton, keep doing you. 

The fact that the administrators just forged ahead with this madness going on is so Brockton I can't even stand it. "Ho-Hum, another gang fight in our parking lot, don't worry folks, this happens all the time...and now lets give a big round of applause for our class valedictorian!" 

So Brockton.

Jessica Simpson: Paid as Professional Fat Person

TMZ - Jessica Simpson is now getting paid for being fat -- the singer just announced ... she's the newest spokesperson for Weight Watchers. Jessica made the announcement moments ago on her Twitter, writing, "So excited to be a part of the @WeightWatchers family!' Jess don't come cheap neither -- the Weight Watchers deal is reportedly worth $4 MILLION. The singer reportedly gained 65-75 POUNDS during her recent pregnancy -- and Weight Watchers must be waiting for a big reveal ... because Jessica hasn't been photographed in public since she gave birth.

Fucking Jessica Simpson. Broad has the life, right? Made in the Shade. Years after her music and film careers ended she's still rolling in cash. Paid for being dumb on television, undoubtedly made millions for being the first person ever to be pregnant for 12 months straight, fat like you read about, but will always sort of be thought of as a sex symbol because of this video:

And now she's being paid for being fat. That's as rigged a life as you can get. Being a fucking land monster and having Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers shower you in cash in a bidding war for your oversized and cottage cheese-riddled ass as the face of their company. $4 Million Dollars, folks! That's $53K per pound that she gained during pregnancy. 

Blows my mind. On the one hand we've got New York banning sugary drinks over 16 oz., on the other we've got the entire country celebrating this sea cow for letting herself go. It makes zero sense. 

Foolish me over here going to the gym every day for the last few months to try and shed a year and a half worth of laziness from my gut, could have just walked down to Weight Watchers and used my new found girth to obtain personal wealth. 

I've been doing it all wrong all along.

Celtics Vs Heat Game Three Preview, Who's Paying the Refs?

Well that's just patently false, anyone who watches the NBA knows the Celts are winning this game tonight at the free throw stripe. It's gonna be 8 on 2 tonight.

Commish probably already sent a personally signed hand written letter to Bron-Bron and DWade apologizing in advance for tonight's officiating, telling them that Game 2 was a bit too obvious and now they had to swing bit back the other way to save face, and they might even have to play game 4 straight up too if Dwayne can't stop practicing his kung-fu moves in game.

If you're Doc Rivers you've got to know this going in and rest your Big Crickety Three as much as possible. You're going to be getting so much help that Stiemsma and Pietrus can probably wrap this thing up themselves tonight. 

Krispy Kreme's "Best Friends" Is What's Hot in the Streets

In all honesty, if something happened to Money Maker Mike I don't know what I'd have done with myself. Would have been like losing Nate Dogg all over again. 

Raw emotion. Maybe not lyrically as good as Krispy's biggest hit so far, but still, it was just so powerful. The production value has come a long way too.

If you're a high school or college grad and aren't hiring Krispy Kreme to MC your festivities you're just flat out not in the game.

And if you've got a best friend, make sure you've got each others backs...RIP Tupac Shakur.

Screw it, lets roll his greatest hit:

Michael Jordan's Son Tweeting Hookers and Porn Stars?

That's Michael Jordan's son, Marcus Jordan. He likes hookers, a lot, apparently, I mean he through out two $ signs instead of the customary one. He also likes designing douche-tastic shirts that only apply to himself.

He's also supposed to be a senior on the UCF basketball team this year...Just guessing the NCAA frowns upon this. 

Guess it's like they say, "If you ain't tweetin', you ain't tryin'."

Magic Johnson Still Can't Enunciate

Magic Johnson just straight slaying me with his grasp of the English language, specifically the past and present tenses. Magic's continued struggles with enunciation after all these years on TV is frankly, more shocking that the fact that he seems to have beaten the HIV.

"Especially at they age." 

"Sometime that they problem though"

"When they're embarrass they always come back, when they're challenge they always come back"

Sadly I can't find a clip of my all-time favorite Magic'ism: Magic saying "Lebron Jame." 

It ain't even past tense, he just can't add that "s" on there. 

Hey NBA, Look Away, It's Dwayne Wade Mauling Rajon Rondo

Not a foul though. Solid play on the ball, not a foul at all. How many games would Pietrus have been suspended for the same play if he did it to Lebron or Wade? 2? Absolute Fucking Bullshit.

Not to mention the fact that this was then followed by Dwayne Wade's sure to be infamous Crouching Tiger,  Hidden Dragon move on KG:

Just a brutal stretch of officiating. I will say that one might be a 50/50 call, but considering the ref's owed the Celts one big time for the Rondo non-call, I can't see how you get KG there. The man was just kung fu'd. And you know what pisses me off the most about all the referee shenanagins last night? The fact that that's what we'll remember the game for. 

We should be remembering 53 mins (that's every single minute, folks), 44 pts, 8 rebs, 10 assists, 3 steals, and a whole lot of heart. This should be remember as Rondo's ultimate HOF highlight reel game. Instead it's just going to be remembered as game two in a series the Heat will presumably roll in 5 now, and a game where the Celts were whistled for 33 fouls, to Miamis 18. An absolute joke and a damn shame.