Who Ya Got? More Improbably Alive: Magic Johnson or Alonzo Mourning?

Who Ya Got? Seeing Zo the other night in his misery surrounded by a sea of blue honky's made me remember something, Zo is still alive. 

Which shocked me, because at various times I could have sworn he was going to die within 12 months due to some rare kidney disease, I think he retired a couple of times, came back, retired, said he was really sick (that's not me doubting him, fyi), got a kidney transplant, came back for a few years, and now he's fine? Just traveling around with the Heat like a grown man mascot? 

On the other hand you have Magic who, through laughs, smiles, and a shit ton of money, might as well be patient zero as far as beating HIV/AIDS goes. 

For me, I'm going to go with the upset and say it's more improbably that 'Zo is still alive. Magic might have been one of the first to live through HIV but its become more common since. They found the right cocktail of pills and he was on his way.  Zo needed a kidney transplant to live. There are very few people on earth I'd give my kidney to. Alonzo, no offense, isn't on that list. Not only did he need to find someone willing to give him AN ORGAN, he needed to find someone willing to give him an organ that was a genetic match. Those odds are nowhere near in your favor. 

Of course there could be a really simple explanation as to how both of these men are still alive: Pat Riley is some kind of Silver Fox Grand Wizard. 

A modern day witch doctor or disease whisperer for African American basketball players. Lebron, Wade, Bosh, they didn't choose South Beach because of the weather and the abundance of ass on the beaches, they chose it because they'll never die of a communicable or genetic disease as long as Pat Riley is at the helm...Hell, right now the Heat have Ronny Turiaf and Eddie Curry on their roster, two guys, playing in the NBA, with congenital heart issues. That's the Pat Riley effect. 

Magic Johnson Still Can't Enunciate

Magic Johnson just straight slaying me with his grasp of the English language, specifically the past and present tenses. Magic's continued struggles with enunciation after all these years on TV is frankly, more shocking that the fact that he seems to have beaten the HIV.

"Especially at they age." 

"Sometime that they problem though"

"When they're embarrass they always come back, when they're challenge they always come back"

Sadly I can't find a clip of my all-time favorite Magic'ism: Magic saying "Lebron Jame." 

It ain't even past tense, he just can't add that "s" on there. 

Frank McCourt is Literally "LMAO'ing" At Everyone Buying Lottery Tix After He Sold the Dodgers for $2 Billion

So I woke up today to a couple of MIND BLOWING financial figures. The first, Mega-Millions has reached a mind boggling $476 million dollar jackpot, and if you don't think I'm taking the next two days off from work and just hopping in my car and buying quick picks along every exit of I-95, state to state, you're out of your mind. I'm pretty sure I could literally heat my house by burning $100 bills and not have a care in the world with that kind of money, its pretty insane. 

That does NOT look like a $300 a day hair cut

But secondly, Frank McCourt, the disgraced owner of the Los Angeles Dodgers, sold the team for a sports franchise record $2 BILLION last night. 2 BILLION! This guy just went from over $500 million in debt, to a certified billionaire over night. This gigantic asshole who used to pay $300 a day for haircuts, who ran a very proud franchise into the ground and had to borrow money just to stay afloat, is once again a VERY Rich man...Mind you he bought the team for just over $430 million eight years ago, meaning the team grossed him a return of roughly 465%! That's gotta be some kind of business deal record, no? Can we get Darren Rovell to drop whatever he's doing (presumably tweeting facts about sports jersey sales) and research this? And more importantly, can we get Frank McCourt to sign some kind of clause that says he can't be an asshole with his money this time around?

For some reason it just absolutely kills me to know that this guy, who was SO bad at owning and running his franchise, has somehow been rewarded with a financial windfall that makes this record breaking lottery jackpot seem like loose change under the sofa. I'm hardly a 99%er as my blogging history would easily demonstrate, but that just doesn't seem right. This is a guy who essentially did nothing right since 2004 and is some how walking away filthy rich. Just like I said at the outset, I've got nothing else to say except its mind boggling.