Wild Hogs 3: Former Cruise Worker Calls out Travolta for Open Robe Boner Hug

TMZ - The steward, Fabian Zanzi, claims he was delivering something to Travolta's stateroom when the actor asked him for a neck massage. Although the report doesn't expressly name Travolta, we've confirmed the actor was indeed the guest in question. Fabian claimed he obliged -- and Travolta "then told him he was a beautiful person and invited him to return to visit him later that night." Fabian claimed he refused because of a strict company policy banning RC employees from fraternizing with guests. Fabian reported the incident and was disciplined for the neck massage, which is a violation of the no-fraternization rule. He subsequently left the company. Fabian now says the encounter was much more than described in the incident report, claiming Travolta opened his robe and gave him a big hug while his penis was erect ... and offered him $12,000 for sex and silence. 

Follow the link above for the video, for some reason it's un-embeddable right now. 

Travolta you magnificent bastard! What a play here! What material! What a perv!

This man's quest for happy endings during massages bows to no mans...yea it's odd that  you're offering to throw out the reverse happy ending once in a while, and guys aren't my thing, but no judgement there, but you have to admire the effort. The open robe-boner hug is as blunt as it gets, just laying it all on the line. This guy is just absolutely relentless in his pursuit of happiness. Making Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Will Smith in that one movie as proud as can be. 

Serious question though, doesn't ratting out customers violate some kind of masseur code? There's a rubber/rubbee confidentiality agreement, isn't here? If not there should be. Even with non-skeevy customers these people have access to every weird hair growth, mole, eczema patch...I feel like as much as your average personal doctor these folks should have to keep their mouths shut. Can't be good for business to go rolling around town talking about you client's boners.

Mark Cuban Paid $1000 To Draw Cats Online

Not a misprint guys, Mark Cuban, a billionaire a few times owner, is now being paid $1,000 per cat sketch...I don't even know what else to say, talk about a kick in the nuts.

TMZ - Mark Cuban just raked in a $1,000 check for drawing a picture of two stick-figure cats kissing each other ... seriously. It's not as random as it seems -- Mark is an "investor" on the reality show "Shark Tank" ... and recently sunk $25k into a company called, "I Want to Draw a Cat for You" -- a website that sells personalized cartoon cats for $9.95 a piece. After he bankrolled the company, IWTDACFY jokingly posted an offer on the website that Cuban would personally sketch some cat art for $1,000 ... not thinking anyone would actually bite. But they were wrong ... 'cause a short time later, a 24-year-old dude named David Switzer put up the cash ... and requested a kitty pic featuring himself and his girlfriend. Mark tells TMZ ... although he has no prior cat-drawing experience, he's taking the job seriously ... and even reached out to the regular cat artist to get an idea of what he the pic should look like.

I mean, DAMNIT. I'm not even so mad that someone as rich as him is being paid $1000 per doodle on the side, as much as I am that I didn't think of this before. 

People really love cats. There are dog people, who love their dogs, and are perfectly rational and sane people, and then, there are cat people. People who love their cats, and are bat shit crazy about cat culture. LolCats, cats playing the piano, cats attacking acting a fool on youtube, and now, childish sketches of cats on the internet. 

I have no idea how I missed this...Like, I've long realized that half the internet was porn but I kinda just assumed the other half was made up of some mix of news, sports, goofy videos, twitter, and facebook. WRONG. The other half of the internet is cats and crazy cat people...it's basically the lifeblood of the modern world wide web as we know it. You think Youtube gets that multi billion dollar valuation when they sold without cat videos? Hell no. I mean, yea, watching russian kids maim themselves in incredibly stupid stunts is fun and all, but it gets old. Cat people never grow old of posting and watching cat videos. 

That's why I'm so pissed. I completely missed the cat demographic. It's not like I ever expected much out of this blog, but a few bucks here and there for my time wouldn't have been turned down or anything. Turns out if it'd just dawned on me how crazy people are for cats I could have been appearing on prime-time TV shows, selling my MS Paint cat sketches for $10 a piece and hanging out with Mark Cuban, eating caviar on planes and shit. 

My whole internet experience to date has just been a miserable failure after reading this shit.

And Here's Giuliana Rancic Looking Like an Alien Life Form

ET City!...Like Extra-Terrestrial, not Entertainment Tonight or whatever show it is/was that you host that you became a mild pseudo celebrity for.  

You think Giuliana wakes up every morning and pricks her Maria Menounos voodoo doll? She must right? Maria made the seemless transition from host of various events and entertainment shows to actual celebrity fairly seemlessly, not so much for Giuliana...Yea I'm pretty sure she's got some reality show on Bravo or something, but no-one has ever confused someone on Bravo with an actual celebrity. 

And I'm sure she'll never admit to it, probably does the fake cheek-kiss girl thing whenever they see eachother in the streets or at events, maybe even has a nice cover story from years back, when they were both taking "How to make it as a skinny-chic Hollywood reporter" classes, something about late nights doing homework and that one time in the hot tub, maybe...whatever the case, point is, deep down, she has to hate her. Has to. She has her dream career path...and she doesn't look like a Michael Bay CGI creature, either.

Clothes Kanye Hates: White People Stuff

HuffPo - On a slow day of tweets, there is no gift in this world like Kanye West's Twitter feed. But to our sort-of delight, Kanye returned to Twitter on Saturday, going on an apparently in-real-time rant about the fashion he saw while driving through five blocks of "the city." (We're assuming he means New York, where he's been hanging out with Kim Kardashian lately.) Among the looks Kanye scorned: "big ass striped scarves," "hoodies with sport coats," "off-brand workout sneakers" and pretty much khaki everything. 

Damn 'Ye, it's like that? I mean, I was with you on like 90% of those, but what the hell did khaki cargo shorts ever do to you? We can't all be rocking Margiela jackets for a cool $G. We don't all got access to that Kardashian money. 

The rest of the stuff was pretty justifiable, sounded like he was just driving through your average hipster neighborhood in New York...But leave my damn khaki cargo shorts alone or it's gonna be problems partner. 

Male Masseuse Sues John Travolta for Offering Him a Hand Job

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