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| Jessica Simpson: The Life Blood of the Moo-Moo Industry |
For real, what is going on here? I wrote a completely non-pc blog about Jessica back on November 2nd back when Jessica not only looked like she was pregnant, she also looked like she was beefing up for a shot at the NFL combine as a combo linebacker/defensive end...Now? Well dreams of the NFL are gone, I'll tell ya that much...Pretty sure they don't make shoulder pads to cover those two melons, which is a shame because she'd probably be more dominant than Vince Wilfork with that size.
But more to the point, November 2nd was 4 MONTHS AGO! So again, what is going on here? Is Jessica in some sort of perma-pregnant state? Was she really that fat at like 4 and a half months? I have so many questions...Will she ever be fit again? Are those heals scientifically engineered? Is her assistant just sewing her bed sheet in the back when she gets up in the morning and sending her on her way? Did they make that suede purse out of her own hide?
If we go another month without that baby popping out we're going to need to launch a full scale investigation.
