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| RIP...this Hef died a long time ago apparently |
LOS ANGELES - Just days after calling off her wedding to Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner, his former fiancee told entertainment news website RadarOnline on Monday that the 85-year-old let her keep the $90,000, three-carat diamond engagement ring. Crystal Harris, 25, said she tried to return the ring after she canceled the wedding -- just five days before the big event -- because "it was the right thing to do." However, Hefner reportedly told her she could keep the piece of jewelry, along with the Bentley he had given her. RadarOnline reported Harris visited the Playboy Mansion on Sunday to return a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel dog named Charlie. Hefner appears to be dealing well with the breakup, posting a message on Twitter on Monday which read, "It's the start of a new day, and a new week, and I'm happy to be single." Playmate twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon, who Hefner was dating when he met Harris, have moved back in to the mansion to help the publisher get over the split, TMZ reported at the weekend. Hefner wrote on Twitter that the twins were staying for a few weeks until they got their own apartment -- and on Sunday said he was happy to have Charlie back. "Crystal brought Charlie back because she thinks he's happier here & I appreciate it, because I really missed him."
Remember when Hef was someone everyone looked up to? That time is long gone.
Now he’s just an old senile man in a dog shit infested mansion, bird flu running amok on the grounds, long time girlfriends leaving him for cheap magic street performers in rouge, and now this, fiances’ ditching him at the alter and letting her keep the ring and Bentley he gave her like some poor old sap. Shit, the guy was happier that his pet frigen cocker spaniel was returned than the fact that two blonde twin playmates just moved back in. What the hell happened to you, man?
FUCK THAT, enough is enough. You’re Hugh Fucking Hefner, have some god damn respect for yourself. You haven’t got a natural hard-on since Nam, but that hasn’t stopped these young, dumb, big breasted girls from throwing slumber parties and naked pillow fights in your house. You’re the Hugh Hefner who’s somehow maintained a nudy magazine business in the face on instant online porn. You’re Hugh Hefner who cuckolded JFK with Marylyn Monroe for god sakes! (Might have made that part up, but it seems true enough).
So if this is how you’re going to go about the rest of your days then why don’t you just go ahead and die already. Because this isn’t the Hugh I want to remember. I want the Hugh that wouldn’t have dreamed of marrying this broad. I want the Hugh who would have kicked this girl out the day she turned 21, you don’t need that girl around once she’s drinking all those empty calories, time to move on. I want the old Hugh Hefner who had more borderline child brides than your average Mormon Pastor.
That’s the Hugh America needs right now, that’s the Hugh America deserves.
