City Officials and The Teachers Union Miss Federal Grant Deadline, Cost Boston ~$10 Million

Boston schools miss deadline for $9.4 million grant: MyFoxBOSTON.com

BOSTON (FOX 25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - A contract dispute has reportedly cost Boston schools millions of dollars in federal funds. The Boston Globe says the city has missed a deadline to apply for a federal grant worth $9.4 million. It was unable to apply for the money because administrators could not reach an agreement with the Boston Teachers Union.

So when the students of Boston ask for extensions on papers or forget to pass in homework this year, I assume all will be forgotten? Because that's relatively  small potatoes compared to leaving $9.4 Million on the table, no?

"Hey Timmy, do you have this weeks assignment?

"Nope, couldn't come to an agreement between myself and HBO onDemand to carve out some time to get it done, you figure out how to recoup that $10 million so my parents don't have to pay higher taxes and our sports team budgets aren't cut?"

"Touche, carry on."

I'm not quite sure how any educator can look a student in the eye this year and lecture them on the merits of accountability and meeting deadlines with this gigantic elephant in the room.  I'm also not sure how city officials can be focused on anything but this deal until its done...Your dilydallying just cost the city $10 million, you basically don't deserve a job at this point because you're certainly not serving the residents of the city. I'd have a field day if I was in the Boston Public School system this year. An absolute field day. 

This McDonalds Lottery Mystery Woman Might be an Evil Genius

Fox News - Fifteen Maryland McDonald's employees remain in financial limbo Tuesday as a co-worker who claimed to hold a $105 million Mega Millions lottery ticket stays in hiding amid suspicions she is either being greedy or perpetrating a cruel hoax. Three winning tickets were bought for Friday's record-breaking $656 million Mega Millions drawing. While no one has come forward to claim the prize, Mirlande Wilson's boasts to a newspaper that she selected the ticket has caused ill-will at a McDonald's in Westport, a section in Baltimore, Md., where she works. Wilson bought tickets for a pool of co-workers, but told the New York Post that the winning ticket she claimed to have purchased was bought separately....Wilson's co-workers are sizzling with anger over the confusion. "She can't do this to us!” shift manager Suleiman Osman Husein told the New York Post. "We each paid $5. She took everybody’s money!"

This woman is absolutely diabolical! Either she won this lottery and is trying to screw her co-workers out of their money, which would absolutely go down as the biggest asshole move in history, OR, she's playing the most elaborate "Fuck You, I Quit" prank of all time. And I do mean all-time. 

Imagine this: Hating your job flipping burgers and cleaning grease traps, wanting to quit, but wanting a way to go out that will screw your co-workers and have people talking about you forever...So you wait. You wait for the biggest lottery of all time. $640 million dollar jackpot, and a winning ticket was pulled in your home state. Bingo, here's your opportunity. You mysteriously don't show up for the breakfast shift the day after the drawing, you're not returning calls from your manager either. The next day rolls around and you call a few media outlets and let it leak that you may have the winning ticket. Your co-workers accuse you of holding out, claiming you won on one of the group tickets, you get  even more vague. First you state that you won on a personal ticket, then you state that you're not even sure if you won at all. Finally, you go into hiding, you leave everyone wondering what the hell is going on? Are they millionaires or not? Can they retire today and leave a world of slinging hash browns, happy meals, and McFlurys or was it all an elaborate hoax? 

The psychological trauma this has to be causing on a few minimum wage McDonald's workers must be insane. On the one hand they absolutely need that job, on the other they could be weeks away from ironically moving into their own McMansion. Meanwhile this Mirlande Wilson is playing the role of the ultimate puppet master, and playing it to a T. 

PS: What's with this guy? Does he not get what's going on here?

"She can't do this to us!” shift manager Suleiman Osman Husein told the New York Post. "We each paid $5. She took everybody’s money!"

 Guy, quibbling over $5 here? There's bigger fish to try here, has no one clued him in? You're either a millionare or your're resigned to a life of serving up filet o' fish...Screw the $5. 

Joe Flacco Thinks He's the Best QB in the NFL...That's Cute.

It was hard enough taking you serious during your Village People Revival Auditions last year

ESPN - Aaron Rodgers. Tom Brady. Eli and Peyton Manning. Drew Brees. Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco and his agent believe he's right there with the elite class of NFL quarterbacks. Flacco's agent, Joe Linta, created a stir in February when he said Flacco should be considered a top-five quarterback based on wins and losses. Flacco took it one step further Tuesday, telling WNST 1570 in Baltimore on Tuesday that he believes he's the "best" quarterback in the NFL. "I assume everybody thinks they're a top-five quarterback," Flacco said when asked where he thinks he ranks among NFL quarterbacks. "I mean, I think I'm the best. I don't think I'm top five, I think I'm the best. I don't think I'd be very successful at my job if I didn't feel that way. I mean, c'mon? That's not really too tough of a question. "That doesn't mean that things are going to work out that way. It just means that's the way it is -- that's the way I feel that it is and that's the way I feel it should be."

No Joe, no, no, no, no no. This isn't going to work the same way it worked for Eli for you.  Eli actually had a case that he may be "elite" depending on what your cutoff for elite was. If you were ok with your elite QB looks like Gomer Pyle, then Eli was elite, if not, he wasn't.  Whatever the case was, he pretty much cemented his status with his (dear god I can't believe I'm about to write this) second superbowl. 

And I know what you're thinking, I'll make some outrageous claim about my skills and the controversey will inspire my teammates and bring us together to win the superbowl...no it won't. Beacuse the thing is, Eli was actually pretty good. You're not. You're most definitely a league average quarterback on a good team with an above average defense and one of the best running backs in the league. That's why you've racked up the wins. A quick peak at your stats confirms it. Are they good? Yes, could they better? Absolutely. You've averaged 3600 yards and 22 TD's over the last 3 years...which would be All-Pro numbers if this was 1996, but it's not.  Those 3600 yards? 12th in the league last year. I know Troy Aikman basically made a Hall of Fame career on those exact same numbers, but times have changed, those are just Average Joe numbers.

And you didn't even go for elite, you skipped right over that and went with the even more outrageous claim that you're the best. THE BEST! The only thing you're the best quarterback in the league in is going 11-21 for 160 yards and 1td and your team winning inspite of your lack of production. That's what you're the best at. If you've got some secret analytical stats that prove that your consistently underwhelming performance is the key driver for this team, well I'd love to see it. 

But what's not going to happen is this: This isn't going to kickoff some media firestorm where newspapers come up with cute "Elite" puns for their headlines, 20 minute debates between Berman and Jackson on ESPN over whether you really are the best while you sneakily put up your best statistical season. Not gonna happen. 

Just be content being Average Joe Flacco. Manage the game, have a standout performance once or twice a season, and say all the right things. Don't draw attention to yourself and be content getting paid as good second tier QB. You'll be much happier and have much better job security.

Donald Trump Believes We'd All Be Impressed with His Junk

TMZ - Donald Trump is confident ... attorney Gloria Allred would be blown away by his man junk. The Donald called in to TMZ Live moments ago, claiming, "I think Gloria would be very very impressed with [my penis]." Donald's genitals became a topic of contention earlier today during Gloria's news conference with transgender beauty queen Jenna Talackova -- when Gloria said, Jenna "didn’t ask Mr. Trump to prove he's a naturally born man, or see photos of his birth, or to view his anatomy ... It made no difference to her." But it makes a difference to Donald, who said he'd be willing to show what he's got ... if Gloria's willing to pay the right price. Donald also said he wouldn't apologize for disqualifying Jenna last week from the Miss Universe pageant on the basis of her birth gender -- even though he later reversed his position -- and added, he "couldn't care less" if Jenna even competes.

Oh, man...This is like the heavyweight battle of mouth's.

In one corner you've got Gloria Allred, a woman who'll say anything and promp her clients to do the same, all for a quick press conference and some hefty lawyer fees. 

In the other you have Donald Trump, a guy who'll literally say anything. Not for any particular reason, he just either can't help himself or doesn't give a shit.

I think I'm going to side with Donald here, first off, his junk shouldn't be coming into play here, the man's not entering into Mr. Universe pageants, and even though I'm sure he could buy victory, I'm sure he's aware of his limitations. Secondly, I'm firmly in the position that Miss Universe, should probably be an actual "Miss." And Thirdly, no matter how much of an asshole, how smarmy, how just purely unlikeable Donald Trump is, there's a part of me who likes it. 

He's a billionaire asshole who's unafraid to hide that fact. I'm under the impression that most billionaires are probably assholes, because I assume that most people deep down are assholes. Most just try to hide it, and in the case of billionaires even pay to hide it, not Donald. The man just doesn't give a shit. He's a prick and he knows there's not all that much that anyone can do about it so why should he care. 

I respect you Donald Trump, in some kind of kindred asshole spirit way. But no, I really, really don't want to see your man-bits.

Priest Accidentally Auto-Plays Gay Porn During CCD

Gizmodo - Father Martin McVeigh was giving a talk to 26 parents and one 8-year-old kid when computer disaster struck. He connected his USB drive into a PC to start his Powerpoint presentation and, instead of the word of God, a hardcore gay porn slideshow started—thanks to Windows' autoplay. Some parents—who were there to hear McVeigh talk about First Communion—were angry. Others were in shock. Just like McVeigh. He was so embarrassed that, according to witnesses, unplugged the USB drive and walked out of the room without uttering a single word. Later he declared to the press:...Well, Father, I think there's little space for innuendo after showing gay porn in church. McVeigh, however, claims there is an explanation for all this. The Archdiocese of Armagh, where the parish belongs, called the police and gave them the USB stick for inspection. The police told them there was no crime in gay porn and the drive didn't contain any pedophilia. It was just normal gay porn.

All kidding aside, this couldn't happen when I was in CCD? Not a week went by, from like 1st grade through 10th grade that I didn't gripe, bitch, moan, and even go dead weight on my parents when they tried to drag me to CCD. I absolutely hated it.  I'm already going to school 5 days a week to learn about useful stuff, do I really need to go kill an extra hour Sunday morning or after school during the week as well? It's borderline cruel and unusual. And yes, this would have been extremely tough to process as an 8 year old, I think the tradeoff of never having to go to CCD again would have been pretty fair. 

You know who really got the short end of the stick here (aside from the children), the cops. 

Imagine this? Getting a call from your local Cardinal asking you to come down and have a gay porn viewing session with them? You've got to assume that's an April Fools Joke, right? And how quickly do you think they called up the rookie at home and asked him to go down there and investigate, probably told him it's a hot case, could be his big break. 

Boston University News Paper Apologizes for Lamest Prank in History of Pranks

Student paper apologizes for April Fool rape spoof : MyFoxBOSTON.com

BOSTON – Boston University's independent student newspaper, The Daily Free Press, is apologizing for an April Fools' spoof of rape and drugs. The Boston Globe reported Monday's print-only "Disney Free Press" led with "seven frat dwarves" arrested for drugging and sexually assaulting a female student, "the fairest of them all," and a picture of Snow White's appletini with a date-rape drug. Students blasted the paper on social networks. BU spokesman Tom Testa said the university has no control over the content and looks forward to reading an apology it promised.

Wow, look out for these crazy kids out in BU, huh? What a prank! I mean, this is just the prank to end all pranks, everyone else should just give up, end pranking all together from this day forth, because these guys nailed it. The Seven Frat Dwarves? These guys are brilliant!

In reality the only thing worse than this "prank" is the reaction to it...guys, it's the student fucking newspaper. No one reads that.  You know when I used to read the student newspaper in college? When I had that awkward hour and a half between classes and didn't want to walk back to my room. I'd grab the student newspaper, head to the library, set my phone alarm, read the first few paragraphs, and I'd be sleeping like a baby. It was guaranteed to lull me to sleep, like a warm glass of milk or 10 beers. 

My point is, like 10 people would have read this thing if no one had brought it to the reporters. And those 10 people probably would have just been contributors to the newspaper since they're the only people who give a shit to begin with. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if it was this editor woman who brought this paper to the real press in a misguided attempt to generate some interest in their usually bland coverage of cafeteria menus and student union meetings. It's a non-issue, or at least it should have been.

Chalk another one up for the PC police.

Our Late Gambling Guru's November Kentucky/Kansas Predictions

And You Want to be My Latex Salesman.

A little background, this was during the November 15th match up between Kentucky and Kansas, apparently the Maestro wasn't impressed with either squad, Spot on I'd say.

To be fair anyone who followed my March Madness brackets presumably thinks I'm some kind of blogging idiot savant after the bracket I put out there...What a freaking disaster. Oh well, chalk another one up. 

Years Playing Brackets: 19

Years Winning Brackets: 0

Congrats to Coach Calipari, Even If It's 16 Years Later than I Would Have Liked

Congrats John, just like I said last week, I'll go to my grave rooting for you. I will admit it was a tad bittersweet watching you win in Kentucky though. Moving on to bigger and better things has been great for your career, but a large part of me wishes you'd just stayed here and built a superpower out in Amherst.  You were ours, you were a difference maker, you could have been the king here as well...and I think that means a little more than some people think.

In Kentucky, whoever the current head coach of the Wildcats is (assuming its not Tubby Smith) is king. It's just a given, the crown comes with the position. In Mass? College Basketball is an afterthought, has been since the mid-90's. There were a couple of decent BC teams, but no one roots for BC who didn't go there or isn't Irish and over the age of 55.

But UMass? UMass could have been it, a team the whole state, hell even NH and Maine too, could have gotten behind. But you left, and I'm glad you've finally won, and I'm fortunate to have the memories of the guys above, and I'm especially glad for this little piece of history:

Miami Heat Lose Yet Another Prime Time Matchup, Media Yet Again Makes Excuses for Them

Real question, is Stephen A that delusional? Or in Stephen A-bonics "IS STEphen A THat DELusionAL? 

And I'm not complaining from a Boston perspective, I'm glad he gave the team it's props. They're now leading their division and have the second best record in basketball since the All-Star break. They're still old as hell and a fairly flawed team with some real weaknesses, but if anything this proves they've got a punchers chance in the playoffs. You know they'll go down swinging, and if they catch a team, like say, the Heat, by surprise, they could knock 'em out. 

Which is why I think Stephen A, and all the media types who keep defending Miami for these show down losses need a bit of a dose of reality. In the past month they've played the Lakers, the Pacers, Orlando, Chicago, Oklahoma and now Boston, a combined 8 times...They're 2-6. TWO AND SIX! And no one says anything about it, just "oh, the game meant more to the opposing team than it did the Heat."

BULLSHIT.  This is a team that comes into every big matchup with a media circus, wondering how they'll respond. They've stepped up twice. Once in overtime against the Pacers at home, and once at home against Orlando...Hell, that loss to Chicago was while Rose was out...The talent disparity is already huge between Chicago and Miami, but take away Rose? That should be like playing just another middling eastern conference team for Miami, but they couldn't do it. 

Once or twice is excusable, but not showing up 6x in a month, that's a pattern. Four of those losses were by double digits, by an average of 15 points per game...That's not exactly paining a picture of an elite team putting up a fight on a night by night basis. 

And the argument that it doesn't mean anything, that they're just treading water, doesn't really hold weight either. Coming into last month they were in contention for the 1 seed, now? It's all but gone. And trust me, in a seven game series against the Bulls, they want that home court advantage. Not to mention the fact that no other team in the league would get this much leeway...its a shortened season, every game counts more now than in any previous season. In the blink of an eye we're going to be into the playoffs, and they're going to be a team that went 10-7 in the last month when they should have been rounding into form for the playoffs, including 6 losses to playoff caliber teams (one to the Jazz for good measure). 

So yes, Stephen A, these games do mean something, and should mean something to Miami. What you're seeing is a team that gets down and quits. A team with no fight once another team imposes their will on them. A team of quitters who very much look like they're being led by a guy who's never been able to overcome adversity in his career. They're front runners who can't handle playing from behind, and that's a huge problem come playoff time.

But great analysis Stevie.