3 Women Rob Pizza Hut with AK-47's...Typical Women, Overly Complicating A simple Task.

FORESTDALE, Alabama -- Jefferson County sheriff's deputies are searching for at least three women, armed with an AK-47, who robbed the Pizza Hut on Forestdale Boulevard over the weekend. Deputies were dispatched to the restaurant about 10:20 p.m. Friday. Employees told lawmen the women, believed to be in their late teens or early 20s, went into the store and ordered the manager to open two cash registers. One of them took money from one register and took the entire drawer and money from the other, said Chief Deputy Randy Christian.  They fled on foot.  While searching for the trio, deputies found a trail of money that started from behind the business and led to the rear of an office building on Sandyview Lane and U.S 78. Witnesses told them they saw a female running down the  alley next to Pizza Hut. That woman, they said, got into a red Saturn with a black car protector, fleeing at a high rate of speed. 

Typical women, over complicating such a simple task. Ladies, you're robbing your local Pizza Hut, ok? No need for the full scale model of the restaurant, weeks of training, and assault rifles, you're not Seal Team 6 or anything. Frigen guns alone had to have cost more than you netted robbing a pizza joint, I don't care if its Friday night or all you can eat college Tuesdays, no way that drawer had more than like $400 in it. It's just a such a lady thing to do. Take the simplest task that a guy would put nearly 0 thought into and transform it into some kind of 16 step plan that HGTV and A&E could make a half hour television special out of.  Shits nuts.  Just grab a hand gun, demand the money, and leave out the front door. None of this storming out back alleys, spilling money everywhere, just get in, get out. That's it.

Purdue Student Seeks To Block Name Being Released for Illegally Downloading Illegal Ass 2

The Smoking Gun--A “promising young college student” at Purdue University wants a federal judge to quash a subpoena that seeks to attach a name to an IP address to which a copy of the porno film “Illegal Ass 2” was downloaded late last year. The 19-year-old Boilermaker--identified only as “Doe 26” in court filings--filed a motion Friday seeking to keep Third Degree Films, a major distributor of adult films, from obtaining their name from the Indiana school. In a bid to identify those who have improperly downloaded its films from BitTorrent sites, Third Degree last year filed a lawsuit against more than 2000 “Doe” defendants known only by their respective IP addresses. A U.S. District Court judge in California signed an order permitting the film company to serve subpoenas on Internet service providers so that the firm could match up names to IP addresses. One of those subpoenas was served on Purdue to determine who downloaded “Illegal Ass 2” on October 10 at 7:33 PM. The X-rated film stars Sasha Grey, one of porn’s best-known actresses, who has also appeared in HBO’s “Entourage” and director Steven Soderbergh’s 2009 movie “The Girlfriend Experience.” Grey is pictured below.

Honestly, this is a pretty fair punishment. And Bravo to the porn industry, they're not out there like the record labels hunting for huge pay days by suing some liberal arts english major like $75K for downloading a few indie albums no one would have otherwise had ever heard.  Nope, in Porn apparently, whats fair is fair.  You want to illegally steal their films, fine, but be prepared to be outted publicly for it.

It's kind of like the good old days in England where petty criminals would spend a day in the stocks, neighbors laughing at them and throwing rotten tomatoes and other garbage at their faces.  This is pretty much the same thing, except with neighbors, parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, employers, and girls in your school knowing that you celebrate the whole Illegal Ass catalog, episodes 1-83.

Most awkward part of this story, you know the kid's roommate is sitting there trying to figure out if he was in the room that night...that'll create some tension. You come home from a party and drunkenly pass out while your roommate gets his rocks off like 8 feet away in the glow of his computer while dl'ing illegal ass porn. Safe to say these guys haven't been eating at the cafe together since this whole incident came to light.

Mayor Menino Joins Gov. Patrick In Calling for Only Illegal Immigrants Committing "Serious Crimes" Be Deported...What a Joke

Soft on crime, tough on soft drinks?

Boston Globe - In an abrupt turnaround, Mayor Thomas M. Menino has said he will withdraw Boston police from the federal Secure Communities program unless US federal immigration officials limit their deportation efforts to only those immigrants who have committed serious crimes. In an abrupt turnaround, Mayor Thomas M. Menino has said he will withdraw Boston police from the federal Secure Communities program unless US federal immigration officials limit their deportation efforts to only those immigrants who have committed serious crimes.  Just over one month ago, Menino and Davis defended the controversial initiative after Governor Deval Patrick refused to expand the program to State Police. At the time, Boston officials said they felt that Secure Communities was helping to fight crime - critical in a city that has been besieged by drug and gun violence. But Menino at that time also ordered Davis to review his files to ensure that the program was targeting criminals. In his letter, Menino called on the Secure Communities task force to demonstrate more transparency in how it decides whose fingerprints are shared with US Immigration and Customs Enforcement. The Department of Homeland Security must establish a “partition’’ that separates immigrants charged in felony crimes from those arrested on misdemeanors, he argued.

Goddamn this man is ridiculous, isn't he? Tough on fatasses (except his own) and soft on illegals and criminals? Has any other politician had so much success with such a ridiculous political platform?  

How about spending a little less time worrying about what kind of soda city workers enjoy with their lunch, join weight watchers, and crack down on crime and illegals across the city.  Its a pretty standard playbook, like every other politician on earth follows it.

Newsflash guys, Illegal immigrants are criminals without actually having committed any other crimes, no? I'm not arguing go door to door and just start kicking these people out, but if they're dumb enough to slip up and commit a misdemeanor then I think we're in the right here in saying, "welp, you've had your chance, good luck back in the third world."  We're not prosecuting these guys and throwing them in jail, it's kinda just like in the game of Sorry where you bump an opponent back to the start position.  They can feel free to traverse those shark infested waters or cram in the back of that fruit delivery truck again in like 6 months, they did it once, they can do it again.

Wannabe Cowboy Practicing His Quick Draw, Oddly Calm After Shooting Himself

"I Just Fucking Shot Myself" Son of a bitch!

Umm yea, you shot yourself like right in the foot/leg, how about crumpling in pain or clutching your leg or something? How is this guys reaction to shooting himself in his foot the same, if not calmer than when I stub my toe on the coffee table on a nightly basis? 

I yell, I hop up and down, I clutch the toe like its about to fall off if I let go, even sucker my girlfriend into inspecting it to make sure I'm ok on occasion.  

This guy? Not this guy. Can't even imagine how much of a pussy he thinks I am.  He's just gonna walk off that minor flesh wound and maybe rub some dirt on it to slow the bleeding. No big deal, all in a days work dueling with stationary targets and honing the fastest quick draw this side of Yosemite Sam.

British Political Correspondent Calls Politician Jeremy Hunt a (C)Hunt On-Air

100% on purpose right? Had to be. There wasn't even a stumble or a whoops my bad, it's like he had that written into the teleprompter, was calling him a cunt no matter what...cheeky bastard.

PS: My favorite part of these videos where people just film stuff straight off their tv has to be hearing their reactions.  No idea why but I got an even harder chuckle out of this guys laugh than I did out of that one wanker calling the other a cunt to his face....I'm guessing I'm a laughing voyeur? Does that make me a creep in some sort of way?

Taiwan Celebrates Funerals A Bit Differently than We Do, With Strippers

IO9 - Should you meet your demise in Taiwan, a funerary option open to you is the Electric Flower Car (EFC), a wheeled, neon-lit platform upon which pulchritudinous women strip down to their skivvies for the benefit of audiences...both living and deceased.

That sound you just heard? The Florida government shitting a collective brick...because something tells me Taiwan is about to start crushing the southern states in the competition for nearly dead retirees and their disposable income and social security payments.  It's a no brainer...If you're like 75+ and just outlived your wife how are you not packing up your things and heading to Taiwan? I'd suspect airlines are going to have to start adding more direct flights to Taiwan, get those old guys over their fast, they don't have much time, they can't be stopping for 2 hour layovers on the west coast.

Restaurant Bans Children Under 6...It's About Time

CHARLOTTE, N.C. - If your children are under six years of age, they will not be dining at McDain's Restaurant and Golf Center in Monroeville, a western Pennsylvania town.  The owner, a man named Mike Vuick, says there's "nothing wrong with babies, but the fact is you can't control their volume."  He says all that screaming and crying disturbs many of his customers.  The ban goes into effect July 16th...  Even still,  Franklin says he can't imagine banning children from the family-friendly business.  He says, "As long as the parents are being responsible and taking care of their kids, there is no reason for it." Charlotte restaurant-goers we talked to say kids can ruin a meal.  Neal Mims says, "I don't like kids in restaurants.  I think it's a little sometimes over the top."  And Megan Johnson says, "I think it's just a respect issue with the people that are around in the restaurant." 

Preach Megan Johnson, Preach!  Look, it's nothing against kids, its just that there are plenty of restaurants and places to take them...nice dinner restaurants just don't fall into that category, and this guy saying as long as parents are responsible for them, then it's not an issue? Where the hell have you been living. Even the most responsible parent can't stop a 3 or 4 year old from throwing a shit fit after his grilled cheese accidentally touches his french fries...food can't touch bro! Good luck trying to quiet that kid down...meanwhile I'm just trying to enjoy a nice steak and a few brews and now I've got this wailing child behind me and I'm starting to think of ways I could silence the kid without going to jail...its not a healthy situation for anyone involved.

And call me an asshole, but I don't think this age restricted ban should stop here...how about a movie theater that doesn't allow kids under 18? A 21+beach? Chuckee Cheese's where adults can go into the ball pit without looking like a social outcast? Seriously, adults and their taxes and disposable income pay for all this shit, is it too much to ask for a few reprieves from children and everyday life where we can just relax, or cut loose, or just act like a bunch of overgrown kids without the actual children around?

Surest Sign Yet that the NFL Lockout is Ending...Pacman Jones Arrested in Drunk Incident

CINCINNATI -- Bengals cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones was arrested Sunday in Cincinnati on misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct while intoxicated and resisting arrest, adding to the list of off-the-field troubles that have marred his career. "I just had surgery, so why would I be resisting arrest?" said Jones, who was wearing a neck brace. He's been recovering from a neck injury last fall that required surgery, but he was expecting to play this year. He said he hadn't been drinking and was out with his wife to celebrate her birthday. "It's ridiculous, man," he told the TV station. "I keep on going through the same thing, and it don't make no sense." He also apologized to his fans and said he loves Cincinnati. "Only thing I can do is be me and do what I'm supposed to do, but I was not yelling at the police. I did not yell profanity at the police. And at the end of the day ... I'm the bad guy," he said.

Thank god, that's all I can say.  I was just arguing with Pennypacker and the Maestro the other day about whether or not there'd be a season, or if it would be a whole season...they were both adament that a deal was coming very soon, I've been a bit more skeptical ever since the whole Bill Burt thing about a month and a half ago.

Well not anymore. I've been looking for some kinda sign from the players that they're gearing up for training camp, and this is the best one yet. Pacman getting arrested for drunken debauchery is as sure a sign that summer training camp is around the corner as there is.  Combine this with the annual Brett Favre unretirement rumors and it feels like any other July or August...apparently this whole lockout thing was nothing to worry about, things are coming along just fine.

Today's Crazy Reader E-mail - Caycee Anthony/Lizzy Borden Comparisons

this one's bringing out all the nutjobs

From: Teri 

Email: Wickedwoman305@xxxxxxxx

Subject: Caycee/Lizzy

I am having trouble posting this ? If you can plz do it for me I would be very grateful . Ty am freaked out by people comparing Caycee to Lizzie simply because the first time I seen Caycee I had a wierd vibe that I was not only looking at pure evil but, that I was looking at Lizzy Borden's reincarnation. Phew .. Three of my friends can atest that long before the verdict was handed down . I kept saying this to them and couldn't shake the feeling and at the time I didnt' remember the outcome of Lizzy's trial was a verdict of not guilty !!! I happened to google her yesterday and found a few things that just gave me the chills ! I guess you would have to believe as I believe in reincarnation and that is a whole other subject to debate. Lets just leave it as .. energy never d! ies it transforms ! Believe it or not .. I have found more then one similarity. For one.... Lizzy wanted to be free of her parents control and her family dynamics were very dysfunctional and she wanted to live the "BEAUTIFUL LIFE" Her family was wealthy and she was being forced to live below her means. I guess you could say Caycee's only way to be rid of her family's control was to take Caylee out of the equation aside from wanting to punish her parents for controlling her and keeping her from doing what she wanted to do ! As I searched on for more similarities , I found that Lizzy was born 7/19 and Caycee born 3/19 .. Lizzy said she found her father after 30 mins and Caycee didn't report her child for 31 days . I am sorry to all the non believers . I knew who this was before the trial ended . I just wish . I would have researched the outcome of Lizzy's trial before the end of the Anthony trial and maybe,Lets just leave it as .. energy never dies it transforms !... I watched that trial from day one and I do believe the prosecution may have left so! me things out but , ultimately ... the finger pointed at Caycee and I hold that jury responsible for letting her go. They wanted out and they were lazy and I stand firm on that and I predict all of them are going to have trouble living with their deed . I could be wrong ? Its just a feeling . In the end Caycee killed her parents just as she did in her former life . Cindy and George's grandaughter were their life and she is gone and they are mere walking dead now. I do hope that Lizzy , Caycee, .. next carnation when she repeats the crime which I do believe will be more heinious then her previous two ... gets her just reward . Perhaps, she won't come back with the same mission . Again I am glad to see others seen a similarity in the two . At least it helped me understand my unharnessed gift . Thanks for sharing . Teri 

 Well then! I guess I get to refute this comparison twice in one week, I must be a lucky guy.

So, Teri, because two women were accused (and in all likelihood guilty) of murder but acquitted they're one in the same? A demon reincarnate, like Zuul in Ghostbusters or something?  What about all the other woman killers throughout time, same spirit? Been a pretty busy demon.  

Can you explain how each woman was found not guilty by two separate juries? Were the jurors all reincarnates of the Lizzy trial as well? Lot of fate at play here, no? And don't re-animists, or buddhists, or wickans or whatever you are believe that your future reincarnations are based on how you live your current life? Like if you were to do something evil like chop up your parents with an axe you'd probably spend more than a couple lifetimes as a dung beetle or something, right? 

I'll maintain my previous argument that the only similarities between these women is that they're presumably murderous monsters who weren't convicted of their crimes...thats it. 

Lizzie killed her parents with a hatchet, Caycee either drowned or smothered her child to death with chloroform and dumped her in a bog...not the same thing, not even fucking close. They couldn't be more different.  Maybe if baby Caylee had somehow killed Caycee, but that's not what happened here. 

One was born in March and the other in July! Holy Schnikes Scooby! You blew my freaken mind...color me unimpressed, on to the next nonsensical comparison.

Lizzy's parents were found after 30 minutes, Caylee was reported missing after 31 days...Now you're just messing with me right?  Like you knew I'd have to post this after making this outlandish comparison? They're not the same number, same circumstances, or same unit of measurement...they're different in everyway possible.  30 is not 31, discovering her dead parents is not the same as reporting a missing child (you'd have to compare the date that Caylee was found in order for this to make sense) and minutes are far different than days.  You really couldn't have strethed further with this one, let me guess you have The Number 23 listed in your favorite movies section on Facebook? 

"In the end Caycee killed her parents just as she did in her former life." Cindy and George's grandaughter were their life and she is gone and they are mere walking dead now."...Ahh, I get it now, its symbolism, right? Lizzies reincarnated spirit wanted to kill her parents again, but figured the whole hacking up with the axe thing would give her away? So she killed Caylee as a metaphor for killing her parents, that's pretty deep thinking for a demonic evil spirit....now everything makes sense.