Brett Favre's Sister, Brandi Favre, Busted In Crystal Meth Ring

DIAMONDHEAD, Miss. — Police say the 34-year-old sister of Vikings quarterback Brett Favre faces drug charges after she was arrested in a raid on a Mississippi condo where people were making crystal methamphetamine. Maj. Matt Karl of the Hancock County Sheriff's Office said Wednesday that Brandi Favre was among five people arrested in Diamondhead. He says she will be charged with manufacturing methamphetamine and generating hazardous waste.

Sure Brandi Favre may have only pushed Brett temporarily off center stage for turning tricks and baking crystal meth (ok the turning tricks part is made up, but lets be real, is there a single meth-head out there who hasn't swapped a little sucky-sucky for some crispity-crunchity-car battery-acidy-crystal meth? Catchy, right?)?  You don't think Brett is cooking up a batch of his own? Guy probably called Nate Newton the second he heard  these allegations to teach him everything there is to know about the drug smuggling game.

God only knows what this guy is going to do to steal the head lines back from his sister. The guy clearly can't deal with the sports media showering attention on any other NFL QB's, how on earth is he going to cope with his own sibling taking the spot light away from him.  

When Big Ben was arrested twice over the course of a few seasons for sexually assaulting Pittsburgh area grenades did Brett sit idly by? No, he went out and assaulted and harassed women within a 25 mile radius of The Meadow Lands.  It's not his fault the stories just hit the media this year, if anything I'd guess he'd been pushing these stories for two years now.  Probably killed him inside that ESPN kept their lips firmly wrapped around his tip and buried the allegations for so long.

So what does this all mean? Well it means if I were running the Mississippi DEA I'd be damn sure I had a task force assigned to Brett, tapping his phones waiting for that first long distance phone call to Columbia. It's only a matter of time.

Terrible Day for Bald Men Everywhere: Bald Cure Causes Impotence

Boston.com - Baldness or loss of sexual function? That's the choice some men face when considering taking a pill called finasteride (Propecia) to stop their hair from thinning, according to researchers at Boston University School of Medicine. The drug is also used to treat a benign enlarged prostate condition...They also reported a case of a 24-year-old man who took the drug for male pattern baldness and then developed a total loss of sexual function that remained irreversible even after he stopped taking the drug and tried Viagra.

Well that's some choice:  Bald - Do you want to only  have a shot uggo's and desparate much older woman for the rest of your life? Impotent - Do you not want to have a shot at woman, ever.  Obviously you go with baldness but what the hell? Modern science hasn't advanced enough to create a drug that cures hair loss while not affecting sexual performance?  What is the point of even creating a drug for hair loss? The main reason guys take the shit is to increase their attractiveness, the whole thing is moot if it comes packaged with a convenient case of ED.

How quickly do you think Rogaine slaps this information into their next commercial? They're working on it right now I hope.  Sometimes golden advertising opportunities just slap you accross the face I guess.

British Travel Company Offering Hitler Tour Vacations...Is This Real?

Gadling - Would you spend $3100 to tour sites only associated with Nazi leader Adolf Hitler? One British tour group put together a trip that does just that, and is under fire by critics over the distasteful offering. The tour includes more than just visiting a few concentration camps, which is common on many other tour groups through Germany. The concentration camps, which for many are a must-see when in Germany, are a significant part of history. But can you say the same for Hitler's lakeside villa where he planned the Sachsenhausen concentration camp? That's one stop on the Hitler tour, along with the spot where Hitler committed suicide.

So here's a question, do the police agencies in Europe just take down the information of everyone who goes on this vacation and keep tabs on them for later, or do they arrest you mid vacation to prevent you from launching your hate crime career fresh off your genocidal inspiration tour?  Because there are precisely three types of people who are going to take this tour. 1) Wanna be historians, 2) Weirdos with a serious morbidity problem, 3)Skin-heads and neo-nazi entrepreneurs.

Funny thing is, I was just openly wondering how long it would take for Adolf to become an acceptable name again.  Like another 50-100 years? Is that reasonable (yes these are the kinds of things I wonder about while in the shower)?

Charlie Sheen At It Again, Just Charlie being Charlie

Forget "Two and a Half Men" -- TMZ has learned Charlie Sheen has hooked up with three whole porn stars in Las Vegas -- all at the same time ... during what we're being told is an epic bender. We've learned Charlie hooked up with the three women -- who are in Vegas for a porn convention. The foursome is holed up at The Palms Hotel and Casino. As TMZ first reported, Sheen was seen today hammering down Grey Goose Vodka in the hotel bar. Charlie is due back on the set tomorrow, and everyone around him -- from studio execs to members of his team -- is deeply concerned for his welfare and wants him to go to rehab. As far as we know ... Sheen hasn't checked in with anyone today.

People relax, Charlie sheen has been at this game for years, its just part of who he is...would you really respect him if he wasn't true to himself at this point?  Besides I don't see anything truly wrong here, guys not married, how is this any different than Hugh Heffners daily life?  

But anyway, that's not what grabbed my attention here, it was this line:

"TMZ has learned Charlie Sheen has hooked up with three whole porn stars in Las Vegas"

Does TMZ care to explain this?  Is there a way to hook up with half a person?  A quarter? I really want to know what this means because I'm baffled.  Are there people who are half pornstar, and half genuine person? That can't be, everyone knows hookers and pornstars aren't real people, they're dead inside. Someone clue me in so I can get this off my mind.

Boston Modifying Ambulances for Overly Fat People

 

I'm guessing they're talking about this guy and his ilk

 (CBS/AP)  Boston's ambulance service has modified one of its vehicles so it can handle the increasing number of obese patients that require transportation. Officials say Boston Emergency Medical Services has to take anywhere from two to four patients weighing at least 450 pounds to area hospitals per week.  Capt. Jose Archila told The Boston Globe he's seen patients as much as 700 pounds.  Experts say obese patients can put the health of paramedics in danger, who can injure their backs and necks lifting and moving the overweight.  Paramedic Russ Smith told the Globe he had displaced two vertebrae and strained his back muscles while transporting a woman who weighed at least 400 pounds.  The modified Boston ambulance that hits the streets later this month includes a hydraulic lift.  A stretcher that can bear the weight of 850 pounds, costing $8,000, is also included.  It cost about $12,000 to retrofit the vehicle. 

 I'm sorry, what? The back of an ambulance is essentially a frigen box truck sized cargo area.  If you cant fit back there I'm fairly certain medical attention isn't going to do you any good.  How many pulleys and crank levers do you think this thing is equipped with to be able to lift these heffers into the back of the truck?  Might as well just lease a crane from the Suffolk Construction company.  

It feels as if this is something the 500+ LBS Club should have to handle on their own.  If you need special ambulances, reinforced with US Army Tank technology, that should be a privately funded service. Like if it's becoming that much of a problem that your fellow lard asses are dying because they can't fit into the ambulances maybe you take a step back and realize the size of the ambulance isn't the problem, more likely its the circumference of your gut.

And $8,000 for a Shamu sized reinforced stretcher? How much does a normal stretcher cost $100? $150?  Are my taxes paying for that? Or is there some kinda special "Morbidly Fat Person" clause in Obama's new health care laws. That's about the value of my SUV, how tricked out can this bed on wheels be?  Something tells me the city is getting hosed on that deal. 

Snow-pocalypse Part II

Nothing like waking up to over a foot of snow and seeing that your building's plow service hasn't gotten off their asses and plowed you out yet.  That is CW's measily path that you can barely see to the right, back breaking work all while swearing up a storm so foul the neighbors will probably never look me in the eye again. 

Mayor Menino urging all non-essential personnel to stay home (code for Mayor Menino is staying home today), first time in my life I openly wished I wasn't essential.  I'd easily trade places with the guy that fills my Dunkin Donuts cup if I was allowed to stay home days like today.

Protests over Gay Only Toilets in Brazil During Carnival

Awesome, Right?

Fox News - As Brazil prepares for its annual spring carnival festivities, there is disagreement over a proposal that places toilets in samba schools that are designated for exclusive use by gay and transvestite participants. One of the top Rio de Janeiro samba schools preparing for the March 4-9 event: Unidos de Tujuca, has protesters reminiscent of the forced separation between whites and blacks, MyFoxNY reports. "They are carnival apartheid!" said Claudio Nascimento, the head of Brazil’s anti-homophobia program. But supporters of the segregated toilets argue that they provide a safe area for their users. "I don't see any problem," said Iran Araujo, Rio's carnival director who also heads cultural programs for the Independent League of Samba Schools.

Here's a question, who are the straight people protesting for the right to use "gay and transvestite" designated bathrooms? Me thinks these people may just need to come out of the closet.  I'm no homophobe, but I think as a straight man during an event like Carnival I'd appreciate knowing which bathrooms were designated for alternative use and which ones weren't. They aren't proposing this full time, just during the festivities.  Carnival isn't just some normal event, with normal spectators and participants, have you seen pictures of Carnival? Its a full on freak fest, straight and gay people alike.  I think wanting a little heads up about the bathroom you're about to walk into isn't too much to ask just to avoid confusion. 

Criminal Defender Super Hero to Defend Arizona Shooting Suspect

Bloomberg - Judy Clarke has defended some of the most infamous murders and terrorists in the U.S., from Susan Smith, who drowned her children, to “Unabomber” Ted Kaczynski, to the so-called 20th hijacker who didn’t make it onto the planes that struck on Sept. 11, 2001...Her newest assignment is Jared Lee Loughner, charged with the attempted assassination of U.S. Representative Gabrielle Giffords and the murder of U.S. District Judge John Roll in a Jan. 8 shooting spree in Tucson, Arizona, that killed six and wounded more than a dozen. Clarke was appointed yesterday to represent Loughner in Phoenix federal court. 

This is the face of evil personified? I'm reading the headline picturing some kind of creature straight out of the comic books.  Pale face, dark features, snaggle tooth, carries a pocket watch and wears a monacle, and of course, draped in a cape (yes I think Mr. Peanut is a villain).  Instead what do we get? Frigen Jane Goodall look a like, just out there crusading for evil in all walks of life.  That picture figuratively (trying to start a trend, see if we can get people off literally) blew my mind.  

My question, if you're defending people like this (henious, assholes of the world) you have to be just doing it for the thrill and gossip right? I really hope this woman got into defending  super-villains just so she could hear all the juicy details the media never gets their hands on.  Otherwise we should probably lock up this bat-shit crazy broad and throw her in a cell with all her previous clients.  Bitch is nuts.  

I'd figuratively (see, catching on) pass out from anxiety if I was in the same room as some of those people, never mind helping them prep a case and building a defense out of thin air. What kinds of motions could she possibly be filing? "Your Honor, my client really only meant to shoot Ms. Giffords, not the 17 other people?"  Good luck, she might be known as ballsy but one thing her clients all seem to have in common is that they're in jail, locked up. I guess that could be one other reason for defending these creeps.   Maybe she isn't so evil, just a double agent.  Build up your reputation and then bungle the cases so these bastards get locked up. Actually a pretty great career move. 

Pajamas and Jumping Jammerz Are Taking Over

Serious question, what is going on with adults in America right now?  Ryan Gosling showing up on Ellen was one thing, seeing that ludicrous "Jumpin Jammerz" commercial was another, but now I'm seeing reports on the fad on Fox 25 morning news?

It was bad enough seeing pajamas on hood rats and preppies alike when I drive into work and see all the kids outside waiting for their buses.  You want to look ridiculous while you're in high school go for it, that's the time and place, no one takes you seriously then anyway.

Adults hanging out in their "jumpin jammerz"? That's an issue.  Like the second I walk into a friends house to watch a football game and I see a bunch of froot loops sitting on the couch in their footy pajamas I'm snapping a picture with my phone and exiting the premises.  Just sending that photo to anyone I can think of because you deserve to be ridiculed at that point.  I don't need to see Tom from accounting or James from Mergers and Acquisitions in a full bodied, brightly colored unitard.  How am I supposed to work with these guys on Monday after seeing that?

And how did you all get to the party  like that?  Did you change when you arrived, what about shoes, do they fit over the feeties?  I can't think of a lamer scenario than a bunch of adult males all getting to an apartment together and changing into their feety pajamas.  But I doubt you drove in that outfit, if you're pulled over in that outfit you're getting dragged down to the station on suspicion of DUI and pedophilia on the spot.  And I have to believe "Jumpin Jammerz" aint a great look in a prison cell. 

PS: All that said, they do look comfy, I wouldn't mind one for the comfort of my home, minus the hood though, that's weird.  Who can sleep with a hood all bunched up under their neck?