What Do The Richest Man in the World, The President, and this Wildn' Out Black Lady Have in Common?

Carlos Slim, Worlds Richest Man

President Obama

Wildn' Out Black Lady

What do they all have in common? OBAMAPHONES BABY!




Fox News - A Mexican telecom mogul who holds the title of world's richest man, and one of President Obama's top donors are both getting even richer from the U.S. government program that supplies so-called "Obamaphones" to the poor. Carlos Slim, who has an estimated net worth of $70 billion, owns a controlling stake in TracFone, which makes $10 per phone for each device it provides to poor Americans. The company, whose president and CEO is Frederick “F.J.” Pollak, also makes money from extra minutes and data plans it sells to subscribers who get phones and service through the government's Lifeline program. The program, which began in the mid-1980s, has exploded in the past four years after being expanded from supplying landlines to the poor to providing cellular phones...The phones came into the national spotlight after a viral video surfaced on YouTube in which a Cleveland, Ohio, woman praised the president, saying he needed to be re-elected because he gives out free phones.

I'll be honest, I kinda didn't believe this whole Obamaphone thing up until I read that the world's richest man was involved. I guess it has to be true then? Obama just tossing out cheapy sample phones in the ghetto like Stringer Bell's crew passing out samples of their latest product to junkies? Does that make Romney Omar? That can't be right...this analogy fell apart fast.

Bottom line, apparently Obamaphones are real, this woman is really, really happy about that, and the worlds richest man, a Mexican (come on America), is laughing while he lights cigars with US tax payer $20 bills...'Merica.

I Could Lie to You and Tell you This Post is About Stacey Dash's Political Leanings...

Or I could just be honest and be like...Stacey Dash folks, she's still got it! Jeepers Crow. Woman is like 46 and doesn't look a day past her prime thigh-high stockings and plaid skirts days of Clueless...I'll be honest I kinda forgot about Stacey Dash, but back in the day I thought she was the bees knees. I wouldn't have admitted it back then but back in the day any time Clueless was on HBO or some cable station that was a much watch for me. As an 11-12 year old tween that was as good as it gets and Stacey Dash was my girl.

Oh...as far as the political side to this post, apparently Ms. Dash is supporting Romney and the black twitter community has a huge problem with this...you know, because she's black...

Fox -“Clueless” star Stacey Dash recently tweeted her support for Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, accompanied by a patriotic swimsuit picture of herself...“You’re an unemployed black woman endorsing Mitt Romney. You’re voting against yourself thrice. You poor beautiful idiot,” one Twitter user wrote, while @Black Voice wrote, “Stacey Dash had a perm since birth. I knew I couldn’t trust her.. lol.” Others accused the actress of “voting for white supremacy,” claiming she “is white with a dark tan,” and calling Dash a slew of offensive names. Several other Obama supporters even went as far as to encourage “the old hag” to “kill herself.”

Old Hag my ass. 

Obama-Romney Round 1: Romney Wins, With a Hat Tip to Michelle

So the Presidential debate, Round 1, went off last night, for real in-depth analysis you're better served going to any number of other sites, for a brief bare bones analysis and some snarky comments, you're in the right place.

With that said, Romney won.  Romney won in a landslide. And I say that as a non-Romney guy. He killed him. BO was constantly on the defense, Romney had that creepy perma grin on the entire night (though that may not have been on purpose, Romney's face looked like it had been pulled back recently which could explain that).  Bottom line, last night's debate could be broken down in one sentence as follows: Romney attacks, Obama forced to defend how shitty the country has been for the past four years, Romney gets away without having to let us in on one single detail of his economic plan, thus avoiding any areas for Obama to attack.

That was it, plain and simple. Oh, and the debate had possibly the most limp dick moderator of all time. Poor guy was just getting cuckolded on national television, outright ignored left and right.

So round one is in the books and it was a thoroughly Romney round. Good for him, he'll probably need it once we hit foreign policy, and especially for social issues debates...Gotta think the President will hone in on the whole hates gays, women, and vaginas thing.

Also, anyone looking for a reason why Obama looked so lost, confused, and frankly a bit perturbed last night should look no further than Michelle. It was the dude's 20th anniversary! If you don't think he caught some shit for making her spend it in an auditorium in Denver you're outside your mind. You know how much passive aggressive shit he probably caught in the week leading up to this? The guy is the President of the United States! If he didn't want this on his anniversary, it wouldn't have been on his anniversary! Michelle knows that. She knows he could have had this moved to basically any day of his picking, but he didn't. And as a result I have no doubt she tortured him with mental warfare all week, basically handing the debate to Romney.

...Or it simply could be that Obama, despite being an exceedingly nice guy, just really doesn't grasp how the economy works...

Bill Clinton Doing His Damn Thing in Monaco with Some Adult Starlets

TMZ - Bill Clinton just out-Clinton'd himself -- posing with two famous porn stars in Monaco moments ago ... and one of them's a real up-and-comer. Clinton's in a Monte Carlo casino right now for a special "Nights in Monaco" gala event -- and several celebrities are in attendance ... including Diane Kruger, Joshua Jackson ... and a BUNCH OF PORN STARS. The two porn stars on Bill's arms are Tasha Reign (left) and Brooklyn Lee -- AVN's "Best New Starlet" in porn. Brooklyn -- who just posted the pic on her Twitter account -- also just won the award for "Best Sex Scene" in "Mission Asspossible." As for Tasha's film credits ... those include "Baby Got Boobs 8" and "Farm Girls Gone Bad."

I like to live in a world where I just pretend Bill Clinton is still the POTUS...Just on a Putin-like roll where he's imposed his will and dominated our government for the last 20 years, ignoring electoral laws and marriage vows at his own whim.

I think we'd be living in a better country. He's clearly a guy that's frankly, not bothered with what other people think.  He's just about getting the job done. Like this picture for instance. He obviously knew this would go viral, he's a former president posing for a picture with a girl who's latest film credit was "Mission Asspossible." This wasn't a cellphone pic that was just going to be shown off at parties and ultimately lost when she upgraded to the Iphone5, this was a share it with the world moment. 

Did it slow down Bill? Not at all. Not a care in the world that his wife is going to have his balls in a vice grip when he gets home. Doesn't matter that it will surely run in every Supermarket Tabloid this week with titles like "Ex-POTUS Sex Tape Scandal," or "Did Bill Simultaneously Knock Up Two Adult Starlets?" Didn't phase him. He was all about getting the job done and getting his dick in. If that meant taking a picture he'd surely take heat for the next day, so be it. 

That's the kinda leader we need right now. Not Obama, who's more content trying to make everyone happy rather than making the right decisions, and certainly not Mitt "Never had a beer in my life" Romney. 

President Obama Slow Jams the News, Presumably Takes Huge Jump in the Polls

Not even kidding, THAT is how you win an election. THAT is the Obama everyone voted for four years ago. THAT is the Obama that'll make Romney look like a stale cracker (lazy pun totally intended) this fall. 

Voting for that Obama is fun. Don't look at his track record, it's been so-so, but no need to point that out. Don't look at the fact that there's no evidence that he's an effective leader capable of shaping congress' opinion, in fact, pay no attention at all to the fact that this probably alienated 60-65% of congress, this is just how you win an election, you make it fun. Voting for Romney is going to be like watching paint dry, like folding tighty-whitey's in the laundry, like doing taxes. He might have the requisite financial knowledge and experience to lead our country out of our current fiscal quagmire, but it'll be boring as shit, will probably involve things like hard work, personal accountability, and due diligence...No thanks bro. 

Obama's got it figured out. The way to win an election is to turn it into a high school class president election, all you gotta do after that is be the most popular guy in the room. Check and Mate.


PS:

"So I said, Whats good Shawty? And that's how Michelle and I met."

 H/T to @jose3030 for the screen grabs. 

New Hampshire Restaurant Bans Politicians...Ladies and Gentelman, the GOP

(NewsCore) - As Republican presidential candidates scurry around the state campaigning for support at business after business, one local restaurant is hoping not to get involved in the hype leading up to the state's Jan. 10 primary. "No Politicians No Exceptions" reads the sign taped to the entrance of Colby's Breakfast & Lunch, a popular eatery in Portsmouth, N.H. Employee Jessica Labrie, who made the sign and taped it on the outer door of the restaurant, said she posted it Tuesday in response to several complaints from customers. "They make a big deal when they came in here," she said. "You can watch all this stuff on the news, but when you're here eating breakfast, you don't want to hear it." The most recent candidate visit came Monday when Roemer, a fringe candidate, stopped by. Labrie said Roemer popped in unexpectedly and announced who he was to the entire restaurant. "It disrupted people's conversations who were having breakfast," she said.

Pretty much sums up the GOP candidates, no? This isn't a pro-Democrat, or pro-Obama post either, just a mere commentary on the fact that a small diner in New Hampshire and its customers are actively choosing to avoid small talk with someone who could be the next POTUS, instead opting to focus on their Hungry Man breakfast and hunting chit-chat (I'm assuming, its New Hampshire). 

How big of an ego blow is that? "Hey guys, we know you're potentially about to become the most powerful man in the world, but we're talking about breakfast, it's the most important meal of the day, ya know." Sad thing is, I really, really want to like one of these candidates, I'd love a competitive race against Obama, but none of these guys are going to give it to him. If you can't win over the owner of a diner and a few regulars, you stand no chance in a general election. I'm pretty sure we covered that in Poli-Sci 101 my freshmen year.

Serious Questions, Can We Just Fire the Debt Committee Members?

Fox News - President Obama, after watching the deficit Super Committee collapse under the weight of partisan discord, on Tuesday urged Congress to prevent that failure from resulting in a payroll tax increase at the end of the year. Some on the so-called Super Committee were hoping to include the payroll tax extension, along with an extension of unemployment aid, in a final agreement to cut the deficit by $1.2 trillion. The provision, passed last year, was one of Obama's signature policies and something he has pushed for as part of a larger jobs package that has yet to attract widespread support in Congress. Without a deficit deal, the future of the cut and numerous other provisions is unclear. 

Can we just fire this Deficit Panel Super-committee epic fail collective? Like not from the committee, but from Congress in general? In what normal, everyday job could you fail so miserably, that even before your actual deadline, you just walk out and tell your boss and fellow employees, "welp, we tried, but its just too hard, bottom line, we're not going to do it," and still keep your job? It's fucking unfathomable. 

If Obama had any spine as a leader he'd lock those asshats in a room in the Capitol building with a pack of turkey cold cuts and tell them Happy Fucking Thanksgiving, you're not coming out until you figure this shit out. Why isn't that the solution here? 

And PS: I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, we'd be a little closer to a deal with the Senate wasn't running around worried about things like freaking baggage fees. Guys, baggage fees suck, but you know what really sucks? A broke country. Broke, like collecting food stamps and government cheese from China, broke(I'm just guessing, but Chinese gov't cheese probably tastes like cow-taint).  I mean, hey, thanks for stepping up on this, but it just seems like maybe there's more pressing matters. Maybe you wanna just drop everything and figure this thing out and just put it behind you once and for all?

I'm as big a procrastinator as there is, I leave everything to the last minute, I get it. But there's always that one point where its like, ok, screw it, time to get shit done...I go grab the tallest coffee Dunkin Donuts can legally provide, and I plow through whatever is on my plate...And I feel fantastic once its done, like a huge weight has been lifted, all of a sudden you've got all the free time in the world, its amazing.

So maybe that's the problem? Is there not enough Dunks in DC? Can we get a Dunkin Donuts rep on this?

Obama Mistakes Hawaii for Asia, Which is Understandable.

I mean, it's confusing, isn't it?

Fox News - President Obama apparently forgot where he was during his press conference Sunday on the outskirts of Honolulu -- despite being born there. The president mistakenly described his location as "Asia" while answering a question about budget cuts. "When I meet with world leaders, what's striking -- whether it's in Europe or here in Asia -- the kinds of fundamental reforms and changes, both on the revenue side and the public pension side, that other countries are having to make are so much more significant than what we need to do in order to get our books in order," Obama said. Obama understandably had Asia on the mind, as his press conference came in the middle of the U.S. hosting the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit, where representatives from many Asian countries were in attendance. And, hey, Hawaii is a latecomer, having only been a state since 1959. Technically, Hawaii isn't in Asia, but neither is it geographically fixed to North America. Because it's a chain of islands, belonging to Polynesia, it is not part of any continent. Politically, however, Congress made sure the 50th state had its own star on the blue field of the U.S. flag representing the Union.

Come on, he's not that wrong, lets be honest, who among us hasn’t made that mistake, I mean, they look like Asians…And yea, the President probably shouldn’t get them confused, but it’s a fair mistake, the guys jetting all over the world, he probably just thought he was in Somoa or the Phillipines for one second and got confused. Doesn’t make him a bad guy. Kind of a not good President? Yea, but he’s still a decent person, maybe not one you’d vote for afer he got you confused with an entirely different continent and species of people, but all in all a good guy.

That should really be his campaign slogan this year…"Vote Obama – at least he’s a decent guy"…I mean if someone like Perry or Cain somehow makes it through the Republican primaries, that’s really all it’ll take.

Australia Offers President Obama $50k Crocodile Insurance Policy (I'm Completely Serious)

Australia - The Northern Territory Government has announced its insurance company will give Barack Obama a policy that would cover the US president in the event of a crocodile attack. Mr Henderson says the policy from the Territory Insurance Office (TIO) will pay the president's family $50,000 if he gets attacked by a crocodile. "The president will have total insurance against crocodile attack whilst he's here in the Northern Territory," he said. "And if he gets too close to the cliff's edge there overlooking the harbour, he will have insurance in the event of any crocodile attack." "For Michelle and the kids they can be comforted if a terrible event did occur then $50,000 would be payed out by TIO to help support them," he said. "But I can guarantee Michelle and kids that we will look after the president, and unless he chooses to get into the Cage of Death in Mitchell Street with the crocodiles and there's a total failure there, I can guarantee he'll be pretty safe," he said.

I've almost pissed myself 3 times reading this, its hilarious...I absolutely love Australians and their 1st cousins the Kiwi's. 

Like if it was from anywhere else but down under I'd assume this was a hoax, like a funny joke, "Ha, look at us, we're giving the POTUS a $50k gator attack policy," but I 100% know that they're being sincere here, which makes all the more funny. 

The press release reads almost exactly like an episode of Flight of the Concords would, I feel like Murray is probably (yes I know they were from New Zealand, come on, its all the same) leading the President on this tour.

One point of contention though guys, 50K? Really, that's it? Sure 50K croc protection would be fine for me, but I'm just the 500,001st best blogger on the planet, not the figure head leader of the free world.  Can't a brother get a $1 Million Policy? Like how much did Bush or Clinton get? Is Obama getting the black guy policy? Someone get this man the white president policy stat or he's not coming.

Obama Urges You All To Trick the Bridesmaid To Take It all Off (Lip Synch)

If this video proves anything its that it really is the simple things in life...I've watched this a solid 30 times since last night, I can't stop laughing. When the POTUS threatens to "whip them pinto's" I lose it. 

This particular sequence from 1:12 - 1:35 may be one of the funniest things I've heard or seen all year, no exagerration:

"Reminds me of one dude in college who used to make goats tell time, puff it up for me. That' girls been so cheap it makes me bananas, Big Old Breasts. Not the ones that make your tooth bleed and stop you from eating, that's not fair. Are you really drinking my bottled judgement? Ya'll think I won't whip them pinto's, yet the crown is for your juicy waitress."

Is it just me or is that the greatest election speech of all time? I don't have to have a clue what he's talking about, just says it with such confidence, I eat that shit up. I was just sitting here nodding in agreement, big old breasts that make your tooth bleed aren't fair. That's what I've been saying all along, finally a politician that gets it.

Gonna be a huge day for Obama on the Tab, I can feel it.