Tebow, Saints, and Patriots Free Agents: A Crazy Day of Football

Has the dust settled? Is it safe to comment on this stuff or are we still in a fluid process? I left my office for lunch yesterday, popped open twitter and discovered that ALL HELL HAD BROKEN LOOSE.

1. My Prayer Was Answered - Now I just have to figure out if it was Tebow or God that answered...I kid, relax Catholics.  In all seriousness though, I'm soooo excited for this. As a Pats fan, it titillates me, Sanchez looking over his shoulder every third and short, hearing the TEEBBBOOOOWWWWW every single time the Jets punt, and being only the second best looking QB in New York.  

I can't wait for the first time some wise ass reporter asks Tebow about the Bible's stance on husbands filming their wives feet getting fucked, Antonio Cromartie and Tebow debating the virtues between pulling out and abstinence, Plax getting Tebow confused with the jail house Pastor from his 2 year stretch in Sing-Sing, or the first time Sanchez shows up to the post game party with some barely legal girl looking to get stuffed. It's going to be hilarious. If you subscribe to HBO and you aren't writing to them threatening to cancel if they don't run another season with the Jets for Hard Knocks then you've just given up on your Patriotic duty. 

2. The Saints, and More Specifically, Sean Payton, Just got Reamed - Jesus H. What the hell was that? Look, I get that something had to be done. Everyone assumed a couple of draft picks, some fines, and maybe some short suspensions for the coach...but a one year ban for the head coach? That doesn't strike anyone as outlandish?

All I heard yesterday was holier than thou talking heads spouting off about how it was deserved and good for the league for taking this stance...Are these guys watching the same sport I am? The same sport that celebrates huge hits? The same sport that labels finesse and speed teams as "soft," and praises physical, aggressive teams by saying laudatory things like "they'll punch you in the mouth," and meaning it in a good way?

And before anyone accuses me of being out of touch with reality, I get it. I get that you cant go around paying players for causing injuries. As a fan I never root for a player to be seriously maimed (except when the Pats are losing and I think it'll help, of course), so its not like I'm sitting here trying to defend the Saints, not at all. 

It's just, do you really think no one else was doing this? I mean a years suspension for the head coach? When in all likelihood there were at least a handful of teams doing this, if not necessarily this past year, then in the last decade? Is this not just like when the Pats got busted for "Spygate" and various coaches and players from past teams came out said, "So What,  we used to do this too?" Obviously no one is going to come out now and rat out their teammates and coaches after seeing these outrageous penalties come down, but I'd gaurantee there were players and coaches around the league yesterday who privately were scambling to cover any tracks they may have left regarding their own bounty programs. 

3. Patriot's Free Agents Getting Gobbled Up Left and Right - Which I'll assume will lead to the Boston sports radio programs being intolerable to listen to today as always. I'll say this, the team will probably miss BJGE and Mark Anderson, but I get them not paying for them, that was probably the right move. 

If I had to pick one to bitch about losing just a little bit, it'd be Mark Anderson. The guy was a standout last year. And yes, this is what you expect to happen when you sign a low risk, high reward player to a one year contract, if you get that high reward, they're going to expect to be paid for it after the fact, I'm sure the Pats knew the rules of the game. It's just, This Guy Was a Standout Last Year! Can he replicate it? We'll see, but I'd guess yes. He's not quite an every down player, but on obvious passing downs he was a helluva weapon last year, and a weapon the team is now going to need to replace (along with the 4 year running annual search for some competent defensive backs). I just think if you have a simple in-house solution, you take it. That's all. Doesn't help that you'll also now face him twice a year on the Bills, who also signed Mario Williams this year...

As for BGJE, good for him. Undrafted free agent who worked his way into a starting job and a nice free agent contract. Always worked hard, I never heard a peep about him, never fumbled. Do I think the Pats can replace him? Absolutely. Do I think EEI, the Globe, The Herald, and the Sportshub will have a field day the first time a Patriots running back fumbles next year? You betcha.

Please God, If You're Listening, Make Tebow Go to the Jets

ESPN - While one league source says the Dolphins are not likely to deal for Tebow, two sources told ESPNNewYork.com's Rich Cimini on Tuesday night the Jets' interest in Tebow has intensified. The Jets, who a league source originally categorized as "a long shot at best," are concerned about the negative perception of its locker room. The Jets were divided by player unrest last season, and "bringing in a guy like (Tebow) would help," one source told Cimini. "It makes perfect sense...The Jets are intrigued by what Tebow could do in the wildcat offense. New coordinator Tony Sparano introduced the wildcat to the NFL as coach of the Miami Dolphins. That, coupled with Rex Ryan's desire to be a power-running team, has fueled organizational discussion on Tebow. On the downside, there's concern Tebow's presence could create a distraction for incumbent Mark Sanchez, whose leadership came into question after the season. Sanchez recently received a three-year contract extension with $20.5 million in guarantees, all but ensuring he'll be the starter for at least the next two years..."I don't know how he'd handle it," one source said of Sanchez. "That would be interesting."

Someone get me Mike Tannebaum's personal address, I'm going to write them a check to help this along. 

Please God, for all that's holy, bring Tebow to the Jets. First off, if there was one locker room in the league that needs more God in their lives, its the Jets.  Can you imagine the conversation between Cromartie and Tebow? Cro trying to list off his clan of children, followed by Tebow mentioning that he actually knows 3 of Cro's kids from the charity shelter he works at in the off season...that would be fantastic.

But it's about more than spreading the Word of Tebow...It's about my entertainment as a Patriots fan, which would be at an all time high. Read this back: "The Jets are intrigued by what Tebow could do in the wildcat offense." Really? The wildcat offense? The offense that was roundly abandoned 2 and a half seasons ago after its abject failure in its first full time go around in Miami? Man, Tony Sparano just can't quit the wildcat, huh? You think he already forgot that the wildcat is probably one of the main factors in why his team was never able to develop a reliable NFL QB in his time there? That maybe yanking your young QB in favor of the likes of Ronnie Brown, Pat White, and now, Tim Tebow,  for 10-15 snaps a game for some gimmick offense isn't the best message to send to your impressionable quarterback.  You think he's thought about that?

Actually, I'll tell you who probably loves this, and that's Mark Sanchez...As you'll recall, the last time the Jets flirted with another QB, Peyton Manning, the team loaded up and gave Sanchez an outrageous raise to smooth over any hurt feelings...Never mind the fact that he was coming off basically his worst year since his rookie year, in which he took no steps forward in his progress as a professional quarterback and all of his teammates openly wondered whether he could lead them to wins...So yea, he's probably at home grinning, still counting his new pile of money and wondering when the Brinks truck will be backing up again after the team's little foray with Tebow this time around. 

First class organization all the way over there.

Wake Up Jets Fans...You Just Got Tebowed!

A CW Original, Bitches!...Yea, I just figured out meme's, no big deal I've just been an internet master for a decade now and am just getting to meme's.

Anyway, all due respect to Iowa, I think Denver is now the lords chosen land, because there is no other way to explain what happened last night.  Like all game long Denver decides they're going to try and play some semblance of normal, NFL rules football, to the tune of exactly 0 success, only to completely toss the script 4th quarter and call designed qb run, after designed qb run, and have the Jets D inexplicably react as if they didn't know what was coming. Unfathomable. I now believe in divine intervention. 

And to the Jets offense...fucking gross dudes...In a game with Denver your offense should never be the one people are talking about after the game. Like every opposing offense heading into a game with Denver should know that, "hey whatever we do, we won't be the media's focal point this week," but I guess Mark Sanchez defies the laws of normal media policy. 

The guy flat out sucks...I'll take Tebow hucking the ball wildly in the direction of his receivers 10-15 times per game and calling fullback off tackles for himself the rest of the time, over Sanchez nervously tossing dead ducks all over the field 30-40 times a game and dancing in the pocket like a kid who's about three seconds and one defensive lineman away from pissing in his league approved jock strap. Mark Sanchez, you suck.

A Quick Mark Sanchez Rant, Just to Get It Off My Chest

He 100% sucks...Like there's no getting around it. That wasn't even close to his worst play yesterday, probably cracks the top 5 but its definitely not the worst...And the Jets still won! What the fuck!?

Honestly, this guy made some kinda deal with the Devil. I've never seen a worse quarterback consistently have his team pull games out of their asses to save a guys job than the Jets have over the last 3 years...By all accounts Sanchez is one of the three or four worst QB's in the National Football League...I'm not looking at stats to back this up, strictly the eyeball test, but I'm sure if anyone really challenges me, I can find the stats, he blows, which as a Pats fan, I'm happy with. But as a fan of football, I can't stand it. This guy makes Akili Smith look calm and confident.  That happy feet routine of his drives me insane, irrationally raises my blood pressure every time I see him do it, I can't even imagine what it's like to route for this team while he's doing it.

And the sad thing, for Jets fans, is that they keep winning. Sounds ridiculous, right? But it's not...The best thing for the Jets as a franchise would have been to have this team lose the last two games, they'd be sitting at 2-5 and Rex would have had no choice but to bench the Sanchize...Instead the team keeps lifting the kid up, winning just enough games to allow him to keep his job, despite the fact that if this team had a halfway competent QB in any of the last 3 season, there's a strong chance the would have one Lombardi Trophy. 

It's to the point where I'm fairly certain Pete Carroll is going to have a press conference any day now just to announce that he still doesn't think Mark Sanchez is ready for the NFL, three years in. He's easily the worst USC QB in the NFL, and Carson Palmer through 3 int's in less than half a game yesterday...That's how little I think of Mark Sanchez.

Rant over. (I just proof read this, my blood pressure rose just reading it outloud...I mean really can't stand the guy)