Tebow, Saints, and Patriots Free Agents: A Crazy Day of Football

Has the dust settled? Is it safe to comment on this stuff or are we still in a fluid process? I left my office for lunch yesterday, popped open twitter and discovered that ALL HELL HAD BROKEN LOOSE.

1. My Prayer Was Answered - Now I just have to figure out if it was Tebow or God that answered...I kid, relax Catholics.  In all seriousness though, I'm soooo excited for this. As a Pats fan, it titillates me, Sanchez looking over his shoulder every third and short, hearing the TEEBBBOOOOWWWWW every single time the Jets punt, and being only the second best looking QB in New York.  

I can't wait for the first time some wise ass reporter asks Tebow about the Bible's stance on husbands filming their wives feet getting fucked, Antonio Cromartie and Tebow debating the virtues between pulling out and abstinence, Plax getting Tebow confused with the jail house Pastor from his 2 year stretch in Sing-Sing, or the first time Sanchez shows up to the post game party with some barely legal girl looking to get stuffed. It's going to be hilarious. If you subscribe to HBO and you aren't writing to them threatening to cancel if they don't run another season with the Jets for Hard Knocks then you've just given up on your Patriotic duty. 

2. The Saints, and More Specifically, Sean Payton, Just got Reamed - Jesus H. What the hell was that? Look, I get that something had to be done. Everyone assumed a couple of draft picks, some fines, and maybe some short suspensions for the coach...but a one year ban for the head coach? That doesn't strike anyone as outlandish?

All I heard yesterday was holier than thou talking heads spouting off about how it was deserved and good for the league for taking this stance...Are these guys watching the same sport I am? The same sport that celebrates huge hits? The same sport that labels finesse and speed teams as "soft," and praises physical, aggressive teams by saying laudatory things like "they'll punch you in the mouth," and meaning it in a good way?

And before anyone accuses me of being out of touch with reality, I get it. I get that you cant go around paying players for causing injuries. As a fan I never root for a player to be seriously maimed (except when the Pats are losing and I think it'll help, of course), so its not like I'm sitting here trying to defend the Saints, not at all. 

It's just, do you really think no one else was doing this? I mean a years suspension for the head coach? When in all likelihood there were at least a handful of teams doing this, if not necessarily this past year, then in the last decade? Is this not just like when the Pats got busted for "Spygate" and various coaches and players from past teams came out said, "So What,  we used to do this too?" Obviously no one is going to come out now and rat out their teammates and coaches after seeing these outrageous penalties come down, but I'd gaurantee there were players and coaches around the league yesterday who privately were scambling to cover any tracks they may have left regarding their own bounty programs. 

3. Patriot's Free Agents Getting Gobbled Up Left and Right - Which I'll assume will lead to the Boston sports radio programs being intolerable to listen to today as always. I'll say this, the team will probably miss BJGE and Mark Anderson, but I get them not paying for them, that was probably the right move. 

If I had to pick one to bitch about losing just a little bit, it'd be Mark Anderson. The guy was a standout last year. And yes, this is what you expect to happen when you sign a low risk, high reward player to a one year contract, if you get that high reward, they're going to expect to be paid for it after the fact, I'm sure the Pats knew the rules of the game. It's just, This Guy Was a Standout Last Year! Can he replicate it? We'll see, but I'd guess yes. He's not quite an every down player, but on obvious passing downs he was a helluva weapon last year, and a weapon the team is now going to need to replace (along with the 4 year running annual search for some competent defensive backs). I just think if you have a simple in-house solution, you take it. That's all. Doesn't help that you'll also now face him twice a year on the Bills, who also signed Mario Williams this year...

As for BGJE, good for him. Undrafted free agent who worked his way into a starting job and a nice free agent contract. Always worked hard, I never heard a peep about him, never fumbled. Do I think the Pats can replace him? Absolutely. Do I think EEI, the Globe, The Herald, and the Sportshub will have a field day the first time a Patriots running back fumbles next year? You betcha.

Tebow to the Patriots? The Media Is Even More Full Of Shit Than We Thought

Boston.Com - Will there be Tebowing across New England? According to a radio report by ESPN's John Clayton over the weekend, if the Denver Broncos close the deal with quarterback Peyton Manning, the rumor circulating is that the Broncos may then trade quarterback Tim Tebow to the Patriots. "Here's an interesting proposition, just a rumor. Let's say you have Manning going to Denver," Clayton said on ESPN Radio over the weekend according to ESPNBoston.com. "Tim Tebow is probably going to be traded. He's not going to Jacksonville, they've already got Chad Henne. New England. You trade him to New England and groom him to be kind of a role player, and then you trade Ryan Mallett in some way. It's just a rumor."

So Clayton, explain something to me, is it a rumor, or did you just make it up yourself, right there on the spot? Because it sounds like you just made it up. Lets examine:

 "Here's an interesting proposition, just a rumor"

Well that's pretty confusing.Doesn't really clear anything up. I mean you start out by saying its a proposition, meaning it's an original idea, not something you've heard from any reliable sources, but then you say it's a rumor...

Let's say you have Manning going to Denver," Clayton said on ESPN Radio over the weekend according to ESPNBoston.com. "Tim Tebow is probably going to be traded. He's not going to Jacksonville, they've already got Chad Henne.

 Ok, this is a bit more clear...the phrase "let's say..." is the give away. You're making this stuff up, its fine, its all well and fun for discussion, but don't say it's a rumor.  Calling something a rumor gives a story a sense of credence, that maybe you heard it from someone in the know. You didn't. You made this up. But because you used the word "rumor," I had to deal with clueless co-workers and even more clueless radio hosts taking up my time yesterday perpetuating this "rumor" that was really just a "proposition." 

Oh, and by the way, having Chad Henne on a teams roster should never preclude a team for looking for another quarterback. The guy sucks...the Dolphins just let him go, you remember that, right? The same Dolphins who haven't had a decent QB in a decade didn't want the guy. I hardly think his signing precludes a Tim Tebow signing, but that's just a proposition, just a rumor...(I kid).

Lets  go a little further, because this is where it really gets ridiculous:

 New England. You trade him to New England and groom him to be kind of a role player, and then you trade Ryan Mallett in some way. It's just a rumor."

HAHAHAHA, Oh Jon, you make me laugh.You're paid as an analyst, right? Like, by the world leader in sports? Yes, the Patriots will trade away their future insurance policy for a glorified full back just so they can groom him to be a "kind of role player." Just what kind of role player would that be, exactly? Keeping in mind that the team has basically decided that they don't want to pay BJGE, a proven, 1,000 yard, double digit TD running back, to return. But for Tebow? Oh yea, they'll roll out the checkbook for this guy. In between goal line snaps as the decoy fullback he could lead the team in sideline prayer and organize all of the teams charitable events. Is that what you mean?

Jon, you work for ESPN. You're supposed to be better than that. You're supposed to have real sources...The local radio stations rely on guys like Frank from Gloucester and Joe in a Car, you're supposed to be an actual insider. Not just another crazy guy making shit up as you please.  Hell, at a bare minimum you should be able to understand that if you're precluding a team that owns Chad Henne from going after Tim Tebow, then you should probably preclude the team that has TOM BRADY. Its just bizarro stuff.

Look, I get that the Patriots are a popular rumored destination for EVERYONE. Seemingly every player available each offseason is somehow "rumored" to be going to New England. It makes sense, we live in a crazy sports market (I mean literally crazy, have you heard some of these callers) that can generate interest in just about any sports related story, year round. I was shocked, frankly, that we didn't hear a peep about Peyton Manning. I'm serious, I was shocked. Not one knuckle head (that I heard) called into EEI or the Sports Hub to make the case that the Pats should sign Manning. It was borderline miraculous. And maybe that's why I'm a little caught off guard here.  I thought for one second this sports market had a moment of clarity, Wrong. Guess I'll just have to tune out the talking heads for another week...