Bieber Wanted for Assault, Seen Training with Mike Tyson, WTF?

TMZ - In an odd bit of foreshadowing, Justin Bieber hung out with Mike Tyson and got some boxing tips from the legendary fighter just days before his alleged run-in with a paparazzo. Check out the Biebs working the heavy bag with Tyson. They posed for a pic with another guy, which Tyson tweeted with the caption, "Me, @johnny and @justinbieber before we started training JB" As TMZ first reported, Bieber is now a suspect in a criminal battery after Bieber allegedly got into it with a photog in Calabasas. Cops were called to the scene -- Bieber and GF Selena Gomez had already split -- and the photog was transported to a nearby hospital and later released.

Fucking Biebs. Guy probably thinks he's tough now. Probably rolling all over Sunset and down Venice beach in some swagged up Afflicted shirts...Newsflash, that dude let you win. You just gave him the biggest pay day he'll ever get. 

Plus, you're the biebs. A stiff gust of wind could put you and your swag on your ass. Not to mention the fact that you're Canadian. 

PS: Good to see Biebs' handlers are steering him in the right direction. Mike Tyson is a great youth mentor.  

UPDATE: This pic from the Scene...Pretty sure that's exactly what Tyson wore in his fight with Bowe, except with two shoes, obviously.

 

I Actually Found Jusin Bieber Funny This Weekend, Goddamnit.

TMZ - It's been nearly six months since we've heard a peep from Mariah Yeater, the girl who claimed to have birthed Justin Bieber's baby -- but The Biebs resurrected her yesterday via Twitter ... with a little help from Borat. Yeater's case was tossed out of court and she's been radio silent since last November, but Bieber decided to call her out anyway. The Biebs tweeted, "Dear mariah yeeter...we have never met...so from the heart i just wanted to say..." and then he linked to a video of Borat saying "You will never get this" over and over.

Well the world has officially gone to shit folks, I actually found something Justin Bieber did amusing. That's it. I was the last lone hold out. I've never, ever, listened to one of his songs straight through, I picketed outside MTV when I heard he was going to get to host an episode of Punk'd, and up until a year ago, I really couldn't have identified a single song of his. He just didn't intrigue me.

But this, this was world class trolling. So congrats Bieber, you beat me.

Reader Asks: What is Swag?

Below is an actual e-mail chain between myself and the blogger formerly known as Pennypacker (what a horrible name, every time I type it out I cringe). For those of you who know him, this is just par for the course, for those of you who don't, a brief explanation. This is a man who doesn't have a Facebook page, who reported the Bill O'brien to Penn State news 72 hours after the actual press announcement, and who I'm fairly certain has never gotten a single one of my Chilean miner jokes because I'm not even sure he knows what happened yet. Simply put this is a man who, by and large, ignores the comings and goings of the world as the rest of us know it. Without further ado:

From:        Penny
To:        CW
Date:        01/12/2012 12:36 PM
Subject:        

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Can u give me a quick run down on the word swag? Or shwag or schwag or something? 

ME: On Jan 12, 2012 12:39 PM, <CW> wrote:  Ha, sure. Swag is short for swagger, its become a very versatile word in 2011, but mainly it describes someone's coolness in how they carry or present themselves. If you're trying to measure swag its mainly about confidence, style and demeanor.

 

From:        Penny
To:      CW

Date:        01/12/2012 01:52 PM
Subject:        Re:

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  What about when ppl are giving away shwag? 

ME: Thu, Jan 12, 2012 at 1:49 PM, <CW> wrote:
Well that's different...S.W.A.G the acronym is Stuff We All Get...that's been around for a long time...the swag more commonly heard now is swag' short for swagger

Two different things.

 

From:      Penny
To:        CW

Date:        01/12/2012 01:52 PM
Subject:        Re:

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ok i gotcha ive seen the s.w.a.g. one spelled shwag which confused me cuz it's wrong

ME: On Thu, Jan 12, 2012 at 1:53 PM, <CW> wrote:
Yea that doesn't make sense, sounds like more of an ironic spelling of s.w.a.g, which incidentally would raise the s.w.a.g giver's actual swag, since irony and hipster cool are so prevalent these days.