Monday, June 11, 2012

The Internet May Have Finally Jumped the Shark with Snooki's Recent Tit Shots



Fox News - Some might feel the world's already seen more than enough of limelight-loving "Jersey Shore" star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi. Regardless, it's about to see a load more -- after nude photos of the 24-year-old were leaked online. The photos, which show the pint-sized reality celebrity revealing her body in an open white bathrobe while clutching a cellphone, were taken before she fell pregnant to fiance Jionni LaValle, 25..."Clearly these are old and personal photos that were not meant for the public," the rep told Us Weekly. "It's a shame someone decided to leak them for obvious personal gain." 

My reaction? Yawn. A big yawn. In fact I read the article, and then proceeded right on reading the rest of the news. Didn't even think for a second to go see what we're dealing with here, didn't care. It just didn't register with me at all. I think Snooki might have just kicked off the end of the internet fad. 

Took me like 10 minutes to realize, "hey, you write a blog, maybe that's newsworthy." I was like three articles down the road before that thought dawned on me. I'm still not even sure if it's worth writing about, and I still have zero interest in checking these warlocks out. I just figure that a title with "internet, tits, and snooki" in it will generate some page views...But as far as I'm concerned, personally, I don't think there's ever been a bigger non-story in the history of the internet. It's almost like the internet is trying to hard here to get my attention. Chill bro, no need to go begging for attention like this.

First off, she's neither attractive or grotesque enough to get me curious, and secondly, despite the best efforts of the guy manning the MTV black bar censor machine, I feel like I've already seen Snook's tits in totality. Maybe not all at once, but if I think about all the various ways we've seen her juggalos pouring out, from the top, from the side, underneath, diagonal, etc...I'm pretty sure I could put together a mental picture of the whole thing, and really...meh. Nothing to see here. 


PS: Absolutely love how this writer phrases Snooki's pregnancy: "were taken before she fell pregnant to fiance Jionni..."

I've laughed at that line 4 or 5 times now. Just phrasing it "fell," like someone falls ill to a disease or cancer....Snooki's equivalent of falling  seriously ill is getting knocked up and not being able to get blackout drunk at Karma. Slays me.