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| Who do ya gotta blow around here to win the lottery? Oh, wait. |
Fox News - Mega Millions mania has plunged a Maryland McDonald’s into a bubbling cauldron of controversy hotter than a deep-fried apple pie. Workers at the fast-food joint who pooled their cash for tickets are furious at a colleague who claims she won with a ticket she bought for herself and has no intention of sharing. “We had a group plan, but I went and played by myself. [The ‘winning’ ticket] wasn’t on the group plan,” McDonald’s “winner’’ Mirlande Wilson 37, told The Post yesterday, insisting she alone bought one of the three tickets nationwide that will split a record $656 million payout. “I was in the group, but this was separate. The winning ticket was a separate ticket,” the single mother of seven said as she and her fiancé left her home in the squalid Westport neighborhood to attend church. The Haitian immigrant refused to show what she said was the winning ticket, claiming she had it hidden in another location and would present it to lottery officials today.
First off, I feel like there should be some kind of national crisis hotline for people returning to work today, this has to be one of the most depressing walks back through the doors of your 9-5, ever. Yea, when I left on Friday I knew I probably wouldn't win, but in another sense, I totally figured I was going to win. Pre-emptively put in my 0 days notice pending my jackpot victory, blatantly told a few co-workers that I really hoped I'd win on my individual tickets instead of in our office pool, and actually went out and spent some of that money in advance because I figured day dreaming was for losers, if you want something to happen, you make it happen...So now I'm left trying to figure out the return policy for a secluded Carribean Island and trying to make sure the gold plated toilet I ordered hasn't gone into production as of yet.
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| You guys are idiots for not following me, look at this gold you're missing. |
All that said, I'm not hating on this woman for holding out. As a rule of thumb I always play a couple of extra tickets outside my office pools, you'd be crazy not to, how else are you going to rub it into everyone if you have no chance of winning on your own?
What I don't get is this:
“I don’t know if I won. Some of the numbers were familiar. I recognized some of [them],’’ she said. “I don’t know why’’ people are saying differently. “I’m going to go to the lottery office [today]. I bought some tickets separately.”
Bitch, check the ticket then! The fuck do you mean you don't know if you won? You know what's worse than screwing your co-workers out of millions they may have rightfully won? Pretending to screw your co-workers out of millions they may have rightfully won. I sincerely hope, that along with that trip to the lottery office, you've got a couple of new interviews lined up...Because there is no way in fucking hell that you can step foot in that McDonalds ever again if it turns out you didn't win.
