Punk Kid Tortured By Grandma With a Hose Over Eating the Last Piece of Bacon Got What he Deserved

The Smoking Gun - Meet Marilee Ann Kolynych. The Pennsylvania grandmother, 63, is set for a preliminary court hearing Thursday in connection with her arrest last week for endangering the welfare of her nine-year-old grandson. Kolynych was busted after she chased the boy from her home and pinned him down on the front lawn, where she blasted him in the face with a garden hose. Police reported that the woman was angry with the child because he had consumed more bacon than anyone else during breakfast. The boy told a Clifton Heights Police Department officer that he had “been getting tortured by his grandmother…all day for an incident that took place during breakfast.” The boy was not harmed during the June 28 confrontation.

 If this isn't a case of false imprisonment then I don't know what is. I mean if the boy wasn't harmed than what's the issue here, frankly, he got what he deserved. You can't just eat more than your fair share of breakfast and expect to get away with it scot free. 

I can't even tell you how many times I would have been arrested for this shit growing up if this kind of law was enforced in my town.  The weekend breakfast table was an absolute battle ground in my house, didn't matter if it was a simple day of cereal and juice or a full on breakfast of bacon, pancakes, and eggs, the battle lines were clear; we were all out for that last piece of bacon, that last pancake, that last bowl of cinnamon toast crunch. It was so bad some days we'd just eat the bacon as it came off the pan, wouldn't wait for our plates, didn't want to be late to the game.  

Hell we fought over sections of the newspaper. Pretty sure my brother wasn't even old enough to read but if he got to the table first he'd hoard the sports section on me, smart too, held it as leverage for an extra serving of food. 

Cereal was by far the worst in our case though. We'd legitimately get to the table and consume the largest bowls of cinnamon toast crunch as physically possible and then top it off with a refill afterwards.  A lot of times words weren't even spoken, just a few passive aggressively shot glances and a knowing that as the older brother I was going to make him pay if he even thought about eating the last bowl. 

The best part was smugly watching as the losers halfheartedly filled their bowl half with cinnamon toast crunch, half with frosted flakes when there wasn't enough of either leftover. Just a thrilling feeling of victory....looking back we may have been eating an unhealthy amount of cereal.