Hollywood Stars Owe Big Tax Money

Fox News - Despite their high-priced tax attorneys and mega-millions, big stars can find themselves in big trouble come tax time. Take Hollywood director Martin Scorsese. He was recently nailed with a $2.85 million bill for unpaid taxes. Scorsese was charged for past-due tax and related interest penalties. Although Scorsese’s spokeswoman Leslee Dart says the entire amount is now paid in full and that he has no current IRS debts, sources say the Oscar-winning director’s tax woes are due to his dealings with celebrity accountant Kenneth Starr. Starr was jailed for seven and a half years for a $33 million ponzi scheme, and has duped other superstars in his corrupt plots. He scammed Hollywood heavyweights such as Uma Thurman, Lauren Bacall and Al Pacino, to name a few.

 

Is H&R Block not set up out in Hollywood?  It seems like they're missing out on a potential gold mine if not.  I mean, Fox could literally just recycle this story every tax season and just fill in different names, mad-libs style. 

Hey Hollywood, stop paying millions to tax advisors who only get you in trouble, just take a stroll down the street to your seasonal H&R block office and pay your taxes like the rest of us, jeez.  They'll even guarantee an accurate return or they'll pay the resulting fees. Does your sleezeball tax lawyer do that? 

I know it's not the glamorous thing to do, you want the greasy haired cheese ball, talking up tax shelters and islands in the Maldives. But newsflash, all that guy is going to do is get you a bill for millions from Uncle Sam and the constant fear of sodomy style rape while you're doing time in the can for tax evasion like Wesley Snipes.  I bet if you ask Wesley if he could do it over again, he'd choose freedom and the pimply faced accountant right out of college working temp status Jan-April over whatever fancy scumbag was advising him before.

If I'm H&R Block I'm working on a commercial right now, showing all these stars going to the poor house over back taxes and opening up an upscale boutique office on Rodeo Drive this week, gauranteeing financial security and accurate returns. 

Florida Residents Bitching About Speeding and Rolling Stops at Intersection, Shocking Stuff

SARASOTA COUNTY - The intersection of Ashton Road and Lockwood Ridge Road is a four-way stop, but residents in the area say many drivers treat it as if the stop signs do not exist...Residents around the south Sarasota crossing say drivers who take a short cut through their neighborhood frequently ignore the stop signs – often at speeds in excess of the 30 mph limit on Lockwood Ridge and the 25 mph limit on Ashton. One neighbor set up a video camera that shows numerous vehicles running the stop signs, including a school bus, sheriff's patrol car and a fire department truck... "We've given them documented evidence of the issue," resident Cindy Duckworth said. "You can't say that it is not a serious problem. It's a public safety issue." On their website, fail2stop.com, they posted the videos of rolling stops. Glen McParland, who lives at the intersection, recently bought a radar gun and is also accumulating data about speeders he says he has clocked going through the intersection at speeds up to 50 mph. "It's constant," McParland said. "It's just ridiculous."

No, you're ridiculous Mr. McParland.  Newsflash guy, people speed, all the time. Sorry we don't all have time to sit around like Peeping fucking Tom's  video taping our neighbors and fellow citizens as they go about their every day business, calling them on every minor infraction they commit throughout the day.  You know the Germans had people like that, they called them Nazi's. Is that really the road you want to go down (to everyone overreacting to that statement, shut up, of course I know the difference between some homer spying on his neighbors and a socialist movement that committed genocidal atrocities, ok? I get it.)?

You don't want to see people pulling rolling stops or doing a few miles per hour over the speed limit go live off a dirt road in Bumpkinville, completely isolated from the rest of us over here in civilization.  Until then, if you can't beat them, join them.  I think loosening up and going over the speed limit a little would really release some of your stress.  You're one speeder away from taking matters into your own hands vigilanty style, and that will land you in jail.

Oh, and I saw your videos. Yeah, it looks like every back road 4-way intersection in America, get over it.  And learn how to upload a YouTube video, what the hell is with the amateur production screen shot thing you got going on? No one down town is going to take you seriously with that kind of half-assed editing.

Donald Trump "I screwed Gadhafi"

(CNN) – Donald Trump, whose flirtations with a presidential bid continue, says he has special experience dealing with Libyan leader Moammer Gadhafi. Speaking on Fox News Monday, Trump says he has more of a track record than anyone in the Republican presidential field when it comes to dealing with foreign leaders and dignitaries: "I sell them real estate for tremendous amounts of money. I mean, I've dealt with everybody." Trump, who has said he will decide on a presidential bid by June, said he is particularly happy with the fact he "screwed" Gadhafi on a past real estate deal. "I rented him a piece of land. He paid me more for one night than the land was worth for two years, and then I didn't let him use the land," Trump boasted. "That's what we should be doing. I don't want to use the word 'screwed', but I screwed him."


Boom, this is just the kind of leader we need right now. This is my kind of President.  Not afraid to mix it up and bluntly tell it how it is.  Why sugar coat the facts? Trump's a successful business man and he's proud of it.  I'd brag too if I just pulled on over on some looney world leader. 

And I'm sure there are plenty of people thinking "oh what will international reactions be if this guy is in office bragging about screwing foreign leaders over." Nothing, that's what.  What are countries going to do? Stop doing business with us? Please we buy everything, we're the biggest consumers on earth for things that matter (a bunch of Chinamen running around town buying up Salt and Medical Masks don't count). Stop hiring our military outfits as personal mercenaries any time shit goes down in their borders? I think not, America's got the stones to do what other countries don't or are unwilling to do because of "political correctness." 

This country needs Trump out there in the world, greasing foreign deals, building gawdy hotels in the name of America. Enough with this operation liberation shit we pull every time we invade a country.  Pour billions of dollars into their infrastructure and just watch as they bomb the shit out of eachother and destroy everything we worked to give them. Screw that.  From now on you ask for our help, we'll give it to you, but we're colonizing your ass as a vacation destination.  Just turn your whole hot desert into a Trump Casino. 

That'll send a warning to the rest of the world. We'll help you out, but you'll all be working as Hotel cleaning ladies by the time we're through. Countries would learn to work shit out on their own real quick.  No feud going back thousands of years to Biblical times is worth having to clean up toilets and serve ass hole American's like me while I treat your countries history and culture like a Disney World Resort.

And besides, it's about time our leader was sporting a supermodel caliber girl on his arm.  We've been saddled with a couple of Bushes, Hillary, and now Michelle. No offense to Michelle, but you've got nothing on the French and Italian Prime Ministers gal-pals.  Trump would change all that. Probably have a different wife/supermodel per year, like clockwork.  Could even make a reality show out of it, Who Will Be Trump's State of the Union Address Bride. ABC would eat that up in a second.

So yea, I'm voting Trump 2012. Mark it down.

CBS Wants Charlie Sheen Back - Duh, Winning

Fox News - The president and CEO of CBS was working Monday toward bringing disgraced TV star Charlie Sheen back to "Two and a Half Men," RadarOnline reported.  RadarOnline reported. According to a source, Les Moonves was determined to bring the show back and was in discussions with Warner Bros. Television, which produces the show and which fired Sheen earlier this month, in an attempt to rebuild the numerous bridges burned between the ranting actor and the California-based program staff. They included the "Men" co-creator and executive producer Chuck Lorre, who Sheen deemed a "contaminated little maggot" before hitting him with a $100 million lawsuit, and its staff, described by the former movie star as "trolls."


Does Charlie Sheen now go from #Winning to #Won? He must right, this was always the endgame. 

And Charlie basically has to do this right? His pitch count is getting up there, people are growing tired of all those #fastballs and #curveballs he's been tossing out there on Twitter at this point. 

I can't imagine pitching health food products via Tweet is paying the bills to the same tune that $2 million an episode was.  And I know he's got a webcam,  big whoop, I have a 6 month old blog, made about $10 at this point.  The blog business is a cruel one. 

And don't even sell me on his upcoming tour. That has two possible endings. 1) Guy bombs because honestly, what the hell does he have to talk about for an hour and half during a 1 man show? Just ranting and raving like a lunatic? I get that for free watching homeless men entertain for spare change on a Saturday night. 2) He pulls a Michael Richards (Kramer) during one of his shows, tour cancelled and he owes a refund to everyone who bought tickets for the remaining tour.

So yea, best case for everyone is Charlie goes back to work, CBS ratings spike to new highs during the for 6-10 shows that he's back and after that everyone falls back into their normal routine.  12-18 months from now Charlie goes on another bender complete with Hall of Fame Rants and slurs and we're all delighted and entertained once again because it has a fresh feel to it. If there were some place that had odds for such offbeat things I'd put my life savings on it.  It's a lock.

And yea, I'm as sick of writing about Charlie as the rest of you probably are about hearing about him.  But the guy is a traffic monster right now, so bear with me.

Police Raid Wrong Same Wrong House 41 Times

Single File Guys, Same Drill As Last Week

News Mirror - An innocent couple’s home has been wrongly raided for the 41st time – just days after police pledged it would never happen again. Matthew Jillard and Claire Hayes told last week how they have suffered 18 months of their home being mixed up with another 100 yards away. Police promised them they had fixed the problem – but blundering officers made the same error at the weekend. Now the couple, who have never been in trouble with the law, have vowed to move. Office worker Claire, 42, said: “This was the final straw. They apologised but I feel the only thing we can do is move house.  Police keep confusing the couple’s home in Repton Road, Birmingham, with one round the corner in Repton Grove. Matthew, 38, was once confronted by 10 officers in bullet-proof vests. Officers also banged on the door twice on Christmas Day. They later apologised with flowers. But handyman Matthew, who took photos of the police after the latest raid on Saturday morning, said: “We’ve been renting this house for 10 years but we’re definitely moving. I fear one day armed police are going to come flying through.”

Here's the big unanswered question I kept waiting for this article to provide, what the hell was going on at the house next door to these people? I mean shouldn't this shit have been cleared up by the 38th or 39th time at least? Think about it, what on earth could he be possibly doing to warrant 41 raids, but he's still out free?  Some kind of criminal mastermind with the worlds best lawyer I guess.

That's assuming that the SWAT team isn't doing this on purpose as some form of elaborate pay back or revenge.  Like this poor home owner slept with the Police commander's wife or something and is now screwed for life.  Just regular 3 AM SWAT raids from here till eternity. Dudes dressed as storm troopers kicking your shit in and stomping on your balls while they execute phony search warrants.  All the while the Evil Police commander is at home watching on video, petting his cat and saying "excellent, excellent" like Dr. Claw.

Yikes we've kind of gotten off track.

Haven't Heard About "Smut Lists" On Facebook? You Will Now

AOL - Recently a Facebook group by that name surfaced, and its "Smut List" has been circulating around at least seven school districts in Greenwich, Conn., and New York's Westchester County...The list's purpose? To rank about 100 teenage high school girls based on their level of sexual activity, whether real or just rumored. While it initially started as a list that was circulated via Blackberry Messenger, the list quickly made headlines when it was posted on Facebook on March 15....The page, entitled "Westchester SMUT List" quickly received over 7,000 fans in 24 hours and essentially embarrassed -- and possibly tarnished the reputations of -- all of the young girls mentioned, including some as young as 14.

7,000 huh? I'm guessing that's nothing compared to the people who have read it and know about it now that you've gone to the news outlets with it.  Feel like this is one of those things that would have just went away in 6 months or so if no one brought any additional attention to it, but now? Now it's going to spread like Crabs through a frat house, there's no stopping it.  

Kids as young as 12-13 years old are going to be creating smut lists because they heard about it on the news.  Chics that sit at the same lunch table as boys will be classified as easy. Sharing snacks or holding hands, tramp.  You car pool with a boy? Instant slut status.  

This makes me tremendously jealous, when I was back in high school lists like this used to circulate, only instead of having a digital copy it was on a loose leaf piece of paper.  We didn't have the benefit of an eternal digital copy.  Like an administrator or faculty member would get a hold of it, rip it up and dole out a couple of detentions and that was it.  Months and months of recon work out the window in a matter of seconds. 

Not anymore these kids have a permanent digital map right to all of their schools sluts lockers, and there really isn't anything anyone can do about it at this point. It's ingenuity like this that makes me hopeful for this next generation of kids. 

Fat Lady Claps with Her Thighs, Because Her Hands Can't Reach

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I don't think its the fact that you shot your last video in Quick-Time  format is what made it icky...

Let's be honest, that was the most exercise she's gotten in weeks, sad thing is if she'd just clapped the normal way once in a while 20 years ago she probably wouldn't look like the beached sea monster she is today.

How many calories did she have to eat to negate that  brief spurt of activity? A handful of Cheetos should cover it, right?

Can someone tell me who makes that chair? This is the best advertisement their craftsmanship and durability can get

There's a reason she has to clap that way, she can't physically bring her hands together for a real clap.

Someone should fill her in on the disadvantages of being that big, like needing a forklift to leave your house, not being able to do simple things like, standing up or washing yourself in a shower, for instance. Never mind the constant threat of diabetes, gout, and heart disease.

The Apocalypse is Coming May 21st? We're Going to Party May 22nd

So apparently Amageddon is right around the corner huh? Kinda snuck up on us there didn't it? This whole time I've been laying out my life plan like 2012 was the final shebang, now I have to get all my shit in order in like 2 months? What the hell guys? How about little more of a warning, the Mayans let us know 1000's of years in advance, I have to find out at the Southie Parade with only 2 months warning that shit is going down this year, that is not cool.


As basis, apparently some Evangelical nut went up on a hill and meditated or some shit and figured out a bunch of biblical math "in his head."  Came back down from the mountain top and started spreading the world. Now it may just be that I was drunk yesterday when trying to read this, or it may be the most extreme case of fuzzy math ever, but I just couldn't get my head around his formulas, found here. I will hand it to him for showing some ingenuity though, rather than relying on the calendars of a bunch of old, dead, extinct, Mexican Indians he went out and figured shit out on his own. Only a crazy believes the Mayans.

But I'm still a little pissed off about the lack of notice. In protest to these time constraints I'm proposing a party be thrown on May 22nd. If Mother Earth wants to try and pull a fast one on us she'll see just how stubborn us humans are.  We'll be partying the next day like it's 1999.  A rager the likes of which the world has never seen.  And yes, all the whack jobs are invited. May 22nd people, BYOB.

The Rodenator: A Prairie Dogs Worst Nightmare

Somewhere, Carl Spackler is smiling down on these guys

Denver Post - Residents in a north Boulder neighborhood found themselves awoken Tuesday morning by what has become a familiar and terrifying sound -- prairie dog burrows being blown up by a device known as the "Rodenator."...An employee at a ranch near the Orchard Creek neighborhood -- who declined to give her name -- said her employer uses the Rodenator every season to control the prairie dogs on her expansive property along Jay Road. She said it's a humane way to destroy burrows and isn't meant to kill the animals.


Cry me a river residents of Boulder.  You have get to see dudes out in the fields just blowing rodents to all bejeezus every day and you want to complain about it?  Ever stop to think about how fortunate you are?  Not everyone gets to see this.  If I even thought about pumping gas underground with the intention of blowing it up the State of Massachusetts would throw a shit fit and lock me up.  Hell I used to have to drive to New Hampshire as a kid to use our potato gun because even harmless homemade weapons are frowned upon, never mind backyard IED's. 

Quit your bitching and enjoy your god given American freedom.  I mean, do you want these guys to handle these pesky rodents? Or would you prefer your city be overrun by hostile vermin? These guys are heroes if you ask me.  Walking into the battle zone each and every day, pumping the Earth full of volatile gas and blowing shit up, all the while standing directly on Ground Zero wearing nothing but protective goggles, some work boots and a dirty t-shirt.  Shit some of these guys aren't even wearing pants.  Just blowing shit up in shorts, deal with the repercussions later and living the dream.