New Gingrich's Wife Looks Exactly Like Conan O'brien

Somehow this may be a bit more offensive for Conan than Calista Gingrich. I mean yea, of course Newt's wife is going to have a strong chiseled jaw, he's Newt Gingrich, he's doing the best he can, he's probably made peace with the fact that he's not marrying all winners a long time ago...But I don't know what it says about Conan that he has the identical physical characteristics of a handsome woman who also happens to be the former speaker of the house's 3rd wife...If you're going to display femininity don't you want to just do it all the way? I have no experience here, but I'd think you'd want to be compared to some beautiful woman, not a slightly demonic looking woman (below anyway) who has to sleep with Newt Gingrich...jeesh.

Newt Gingrich Fires Back, and I Applaud him.

Bravo Newt, Bravo.

Now let me say this, I'm not a New Gingrich fan, the only thing more absurd to me than this man convincing 3 women to marry him, is his ability to get people to vote for and support him. There's literally nothing likeable about this guy, aside from this hilarious picture of him looking exactly like the Dwight Schrute of the 70's.

That said, he is spot on, right here. I am so tired of tuning into these political debates and being bombarded with tidbits from the candidates personal lives like it somehow impacts their policy making decisions. Who gives a flying fuck. Seriously. Newt, against all odds, convinced 3 women (THREE!) that his portley ass was marriage material, despite all evidence to the contrary. That should be celebrated. Deep at heart he's just a romantic, looking for everlasting love...And if that everlasting love should be his current wife, or his buxom new secretary, or the girl he drunkenly takes home from some hoity-toity cigar bar  for a one night stand, so be it. At least he's out there, putting it all on the line, which is more than most can say. Same goes for Mitt hiring Mexicans to lay sod in his yard, and whatever we're sure to find out Rick Santorum is into. I don't give a shit. Just tell me how you'll lead this country to a better place. 

That's all that used to matter, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were out there fathering mulatto-slave babies while they founded the country, Reagan was divorced, Kennedy banged every upright piece of cooch in the tri-state area, and FDR's wife was a carpet munching lesbian, and he was cool with it. What do they all have in common? They're all revered as some of the better Presidents in American history, despite the fact that, on occasion, they liked to get their dicks wet. 

I'm not saying you can't condone them privately, or disagree with their morals, I'm just saying none of this should have anything to do with an electoral debate. We've got enough real shit going on in this country, we don't need to be focused on which of the candidates like to get some strange from time to time. 

And for that, Newt, I agree with you. Though, please note, I still don't really like you...at all.