Giant Sized Eyeball Found on Florida Beach

MIAMI – It's not that body parts never wash ashore on Florida beaches. But usually it's not an eye the size of a softball. State wildlife officials are trying to determine the species of a blue eyeball found by a man Wednesday at Pompano Beach, north of Fort Lauderdale. They put the eyeball on ice so it can be analyzed at the Florida Fish and Wildlife Research Institute in St. Petersburg. Agency spokeswoman Carli Segelson says the eyeball likely came from a marine animal, since it was found on a beach. Possible candidates include a giant squid, a whale or some type of large fish.

Can I ask a serious question? Does it stink? I have to believe that thing stinks. Like I'm imagining the worst smelling pus (don't act like I'm the only one who's smelled pus from time to time), x100.  Really lacking report here.

You can't just show me an eyeball the size of a softball and then tell me absolutely nothing about it. I'm legitimately freaked out here...like that eyeball is exactly how a J.J Abrams movie about the end of the world would start. Just some random tourist taking an early morning walk down the beach, and then BOOM. Giant eyeball, girlfriend freaks out and runs up the beach, boyfriend stares at it in bewilderment waiting for authorities in hazmat suits to show up...and you bet your life he comments on how bad that thing fucking stinks.

Are Florida Detectives Serious with this Sketch of an Unidentified Man?

Fox News - Forensic experts from a Florida university have helped detectives recreate the likeness of a man murdered nearly 25 years ago, working with little more than a pile of bones, teeth and patches of mummified skin. The remains of the unidentified man, who was shot twice, were found in 1989 near an orange grove by an artifact hunter in Dade City, Fla. Authorities believe he had been dead for as long as two years. “The body was found fully skeletonized,” said Detective David Boyer of the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office. “There was just bones.”

Far be it for me to step in and tell these forensic detectives how to do their job, but...I either just solved their case, or their sketch artist is trolling them big time:

I mean, that's Garth plain as day. And come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I saw him, for that matter.