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| White socks bro? Running out of gas is the least of your worries. |
One thing you should know about me, I've been trying to run out of gas ever since I first got my license. 10+ years I've been pushing towards the goal of one day running out of gas. 10+ years of pussying out, sometimes mere drips away from absolute empty. Well last week I decided not to let the fear get the best of me, I went for it all and came up a winner, of sorts.
My ride started throwing up the warning flags last Saturday, the gas pin was on E, the empty light came on, a short while later the "Distance to Empty" mileage clicked to 0. "Yea right," I thought. You're not fooling me this time. So I drove on, Sunday, no issues, Monday-no issues, Tuesday-no issues, Wednesday...D-Day was upon us. Riding home from dropping off the Maestro after another devastating indoor soccer finish (yea that's right I'm sparing you the weekly wrap ups this session) it happened. Exhilarating, a little scary, and actually a bit amusing.
First off, everyone should know the car really does make the clunking sound, just like you hear in the cartoons. A couple of engine burps and that's it. Luckily for CW, it happened on a hill which I just proceeded to roll down until I found a suitable parking lot...seemingly.
My initial reaction was to turn the car back on and hope for one last trickle of gas...no such luck. I now had to weigh my options, my phone was running low on juice from streaming pandora and tweeting blogs all day. Do I call around and see who's available to help, risking a dead battery? Or do I take a short jog over the river to the nearest gas station...I would go on foot.
At least that was the plan. Until I hopped out and saw I'd parked in front of a fire hydrant. There was no way I was leaving my car behind to be towed.
Option two, calling friends. No luck there. Apparently all my local friends are deadbeats with out cars (cough Maestro cough) or alcoholics frequenting Boston bars on Wednesday nights for no particular reason.
No big deal, here come a couple of cops walking down the street...I told them my situation, that I'd run out of gas. Their response, and I quote, "Ran out of gas? That sucks." Gee thanks. Turns out they weren't real cops, just a couple of dude meter maids so I won't be too hard on them, their life is embarrasing enough. But you'd think as a civil servant they'd be a bit more helpful. I got them to confirm that I won't get a ticket or towed as long as I stay with the car, what a relief, you've been a huge fucking help.
Now the panic was starting to set in a little. Extremely low on phone battery and lower on hope I made one last call, again my friend was unavailable, miles away. He did however suggest I call AAA. Yes, I hadn't once thought of calling the roadside service I pay a yearly membership fee for. You may mock me for this blatant oversight.
Embarrassed but unfazed I quickly hung up and placed a call before the last of my battery died out...they would be there in 45 minutes. It's a Wednesday night in the middle of Boston, hardly any cars on the road. How is it possibly going to take 45 minutes...it did.
When the AAA guy finally showed he threw a couple of gallons in my tank, enough to send me on my way, made a couple obligatory jokes about running out of gas (gee bud, how many times a night do you tell that one?), before having the audacity to inform me that I have to reimburse AAA for the two gallons, it would be $5.00. I tell him I have no cash on me (a lie), but he can call in my card. He tells me AAA doesn't accept cards for under $5. I offer for him to follow me to an ATM, he passes. Apparently that $5 fee is a crock of shit, probably would have paid for his Dunkin Donuts run.
And I'm still driving on that 2 gallons today, just hanging out below the "E" line again...nah I'm just kidding, I'm not that dumb...I filled up for a whopping $72 shortly after. Fucking Libya.
