51 Year Old Husband Ingores 16 Year Old Wife to Watch Movie Trailer on Pay Per Minute Internet Kiosk

Fox News - Former “Lost” actor Doug Hutchinson, 51, recently hit headlines when he married 16-year-old Courtney Stodden, and it looks as though that 35-year age gap may be rearing its head in the relationship. Sources spotted the newlyweds at a Fed Ex store in Hollywood on Tuesday, accompanied by Stodden’s mom, Krista. They appeared to be using the pay-per-minute Internet station. However, Hutchinson had little patience for his young wife’s chatter. “Doug was really, really engrossed watching a movie trailer and he was becoming increasingly irritated when Courtney tried to talk him. He kept shutting her down and at one point said to her, ‘Can you go take a walk or something? I really need to watch this,’” an eyewitness told FOX411’s Pop Tarts. “It really was like an adult reprimanding his child. But Courtney and her mother remained seated and quieted down as Doug leaned in to the computer, ignoring her.”

What the fuck is a pay per minute internet kiosk? Like, is the couple more whacked out than I was giving them credit for?

Bro, you’re a tv actor, you married a 16 year old floozy/freak show aspiring country singer, you telling me you can’t afford at least DSL? Sell your story to a tabloid or something, this is embarrassing as shit. No kidding she wanted to get him away from that thing, prob didn’t want to be known as the wife of guy who’s too cheap to buy a computer and pay for the internet so he plants himself at pay per minute internet stations…its like its 1995 with internet café’s all over again, except even more hobo-ish because they're at Fedex.

I'm Shocked the Internet is still Around after Watching 1995 MTV Doc On the Net

Frankly, I’m shocked the internet made it, I mean congressman had to be scared shitless proposing legislation left and right to ban this, celebrities like Coolio endorising the “information super highway”, mtv docs, these things couldn’t have helped the internet’s credibility during the early days. I’m lucky I have this blog now.

PS: I’d have killed to jumped on the whole internet thing right away, like you hear when they referenced the "legendary" godzilla site? You kidding me? Site is dogshit. Must have been easy when there was like 10 other sites to compete with.

Double PS: The internet has never looked as cool as early movies like hackers, the net, wasteland made it look. Like where is all that virtual reality, and all those 3-d shapes people always seemed to be manipulating on screen. Fuck twitter, that’s what I want.

Meet Your Newest Patriot...Albert Haynesworth, He Seems Like A Good Guy

Meet Albert Haynesworth, one of your newest Patriots. He's been characterized as everything from the best D-lineman in football, to a team cancer, to the worst person in football, and, I'm just assuming, he's in the running for worst human being in America...He better be damn good at football.

-Albert Haynesworth on being a multi-millionaire: Fresh of signing a $100 mm contract and receiving a $21 million signing bonus: "I guess in this world we don't have a lot of people with, like, backbones," Haynesworth said. "Just because somebody pay you money don't mean they'll make you do whatever they want or whatever. I mean, does that mean everything is for sale? "I mean, I'm not for sale. Yeah, I signed the contract and got paid a lot of money, but ... that don't mean I'm for sale or a slave or whatever."

Very good Albert, that doesn't make you a slave. It does make you an employee though, and I have a feeling you don't quite grasp the employee-employer relationship.

-Albert on His Pending Sexual Assault Charge: After a waitress accuses him of grabbing her boob in February... “I didn’t touch her,” Haynesworth responded, according to the document, adding that he doesn’t “even like black girls.”...“I know what this is about, she is just upset I have a white girlfriend. I couldn’t tell you the last time I dated a black girl. She was trying to get with me.”

Frankly I'm inclined to believe him, you'd have to be an absolute moron to offer that up as your legal defense unless it's the honest to goodness truth. 

Yea...He'd better be veerrryy good at football.

Boston.Com...Warning You About Online Scams Dating Back to AOL

Boston - These days it seems no computer is safe. Countless people have fallen into scammers' traps, and it's easier than ever to be deceived now that everything is online...Here's what to look for, as well as how you can keep your money and identity safe.

Some of the brain busters include:

1. Paying for someone to find you a job upfront.

2. Eliminate all of your debt by paying us a fractional fee!

3. Work at home, make millions!

4. You've Won Our Sweepstakes! Please send us money to claim your prize

5. "Hey I accidentally sent you too much money, please send some back." (Anyone that falls for this deserves it)

6. "Hi we're a very reputable company and just need some background information on yourself"

What, no Nigerian Princesses were held hostage this year?

Gee, Thanks Boston.com! If it weren't for you and your safety tips the internet wouldn't be a safe place for me! Never mind the fact that these are the same scams my parents were worried about like 15 years ago when I was trolling the AOL chatrooms and battling it out with my punters.

Seriously though, this article could have been summarized with the simple statement of "never send money ahead of time for services or goods unsolicited." Pretty much covers it, or even simpler, "don't be a moron." In general if it's something you'd be leery of in real life, be leery of it on the internet.

Hugh Hefner in Desperate Need of a PR Twitter Professional

(NewsCore) - Octogenarian Hugh Hefner defended his libido after his ex-fiancee said sex with the Playboy founder lasted a mere "two seconds," Us Weekly reported Wednesday. Former Playboy Playmate Crystal Harris, who dumped Hefner just days before they planned to wed in June, dropped the bombshell about Hefner's sexual performance on Howard Stern's radio show Tuesday. "He doesn't really take off his clothes. I've never seen Hef naked. I don't know if I want to," she told Stern, adding she only had sex with Hefner once during their relationship and it "lasted like two seconds." Hefner then took to Twitter to dispute Harris' remarks. "Crystal lied about our relationship on Howard Stern, but I don't know why. Maybe a new boyfriend?" Hefner, 85, wrote on Twitter -- in a post he has since deleted. "I feel sorry for Crystal. She seems lost," he added. Harris, 25, has attributed her break-up with Hefner to his extravagant lifestyle -- complete with numerous girlfriends and non-stop partying. "Hef's lifestyle isn't the most normal lifestyle," Harris has said, adding "This isn't the lifestyle for me, multiple girls around all the time, the Playboy lifestyle. I don't know. I just wanted to be true to myself."

Hate to say I told you so, but I totally did. Hugh Hefner, as we all knew and loved him, really is dead. Would classy, banging a different broad every night Hugh, have even dignified this money grubbing whore's comments on the Howard Stern Show?  Hell no. Why would he? He's got a gaggle of girls living in his house on any given night, there's no need to defend yourself against these ridiculous accusations. 

I mean look, on the one hand she's calling him a two pump-chump, and then on the other she's saying she coudln't keep up with his swinging lifestyle. Well which one is it hunny? Ever think he might have been a two pump chump because he was just dipping in to your BFF two seconds before? You just happened to be the lucky girl who won the prize?

That's the kind of response Hugh should have came with if he was going to come at all. And that's the kind of response he'd get if he hired a mid 20's self-made thousandaire blogger from Boston to handle his social media communications.  Come on Hugh, 80 year olds can't be Twittering, it's a young man's game, by the time you've found the # symbol the topic probably isn't even trending anymore.

Most Un-American Billboard Ever? Comparing Hotdogs to Cigarettes

Fox News - Race fans who attend the Indianapolis Motor Speedway – and residents who live near the track – are being warned of a possible link between hot dogs and cancer, Fox 59 reported. A billboard on West 16th Street shows hot dogs inside of a cigarette pack. “Hot dogs can wreck your health,” it reads. The cigarette package has a picture of a skull and crossbones. The American Institute for Cancer research says one, 50-gram piece of processed meat – such as a hot dog – can increase the risk of colorectal cancer by 21 percent. Colorectal cancer is the third most common cancer in the U.S., according to the American Cancer Society.

Wait, what?...I'm pretty sure someone at the American Cancer Society needs to check their math, because by those figures I should have had colorectal cancer, like, 1000x over by now.  Just this past weekend I had three absolutely delicious hotdogs, as an appetizer for burgers later in the cookout.  Are you telling me that on just one Sunday afternoon I caused myself a 63% chance of colon cancer?  Someone better warn Joey Chestnut, guy's probably walking around with tumor the size of a beachball in his colon right now. 

And what is this shit with comparing Hotdogs to Cigarettes? Never before have I seen such an un-American billboard. This country has gone straight to hell.  I don't want to be picked on for enjoying a glorified rolled up piece of bologna from time to time.  I'm not some gross and disgusting smelling person spreading the risk of cancer to others, I don't need to be treated like those degenerates (Though it would be awesome if you could buy packs of hotdogs like that at ball games, they might have just revolutionized the hotdog game without even knowing it).

Menino: Boston to See Catastrophe if US Defaults...Way to Keep the Calm Mr. Mayor

Typical Menino, Riding Bikes instead of Tackling Big Issues

BOSTON (AP) - Boston Mayor Thomas Menino says the city would suffer "a catastrophe" if the nation defaults on its debt. Menino said Wednesday that the city's various grant programs and its financial businesses would take a big hit and a default would put more strain on a city still trying to come out the economic slowdown. Attending an opening event of the National Urban League, in town for its annual national convention, the Boston Democrat put the blame for a Congressional impasse in GOP House Speaker John Boehner's lap. He said there needs to a "revolution" in Washington to get to the sides to iron out a deal. Menino said he hasn't discussed plans with his financial team about what the city should do if the nation defaults.

Hey Menino, instead of practically trying to incite mass hysteria how about you meet with your financial team on what the city will do if the nation defaults? What do you mean you haven't done that yet? Look I know you're all jazzed about this Hubway Bike Sharing program that's kicking off soon, I just happen to think taking care of the fiscal solvency of the most important city in our state, and region, may trump a leisurely bike ride along the Greenway.  

It's not like this is some off in the distance, no need to hurry event. This is days away now.  And yea, hopefully those kids down in Washington put aside their little pissing match, stop arguing about who's Dad would win in a fight, and figure this thing out...but just in case, you might want to get together with some of your "experts" on this just so you're prepared.  This isn't something you're just going to walk into your office Monday morning and get briefed on, ya know? Like you can't just open your Outlook email box and flag the "US in default" email you receive from the Federal Government for follow up later. 

Come on Menino, get your shit together. 

Post Office Closings Announced, People of Twitter Oddly Upset

Boston - The Postal Service is considering closing more than 1 in 10 of its retail outlets. The financially troubled agency announced Tuesday that it will study 3,653 local offices, branches and stations for possible closing. But many of those may be replaced by what the service is calling Village Post Offices in which postal services are offered in local stores, libraries or government offices. "It's no secret that the Postal Service is looking to change the way we do a lot of things," Postmaster General Patrick Donahoe said at a briefing. "We do feel that we are still relevant to the American public and the economy, but we have to make some tough choices." Currently the post office operates 31,871 retail outlets across the country, down from 38,000 a decade ago, but in recent years business has declined sharply as first-class mail moved to the Internet. In addition, the recession resulted in a decline in advertising mail, and the agency lost $8 billion last year.

You’d think after seeing the outpouring of grief and lament on twitter after these closures were announced that the City had just announced the closing of 10% of its Dunks locations…At least then the whining would have made sense, I mean everyone uses dunks, no one (or no one that has a handle on twitter) uses the post office more than 2-3 times per year, max. But you’d think from reading all the commentary that business is booming and they should be opening locations, not closing them.

I’m willing to bet when the average person thinks of the mail, they think of three things: Junk mail/credit card offers, cards from grandma’s, and Bed Bath & Beyond coupons…That’s it.  Sure some people still get bills via mail, but really if you’re under the age of 50 and not paying bills online you’re just wasting time.

What exactly are we supposed to be sad about here? A failing business shuttering its doors? Sure I could see maybe feeling sad if that business had been a big part of the community, or defined a neighborhood in some way…but this is the post office. No one has sentimental feelings for the post office, in fact, most people hate their post office experience.  Furthermore, this is a business that has cost tax payers literally billions of dollars over the past few years. Frankly, you should be glad to have these offices off your payroll.

Golf Cart Planking Prank Makes Me Re-Think My Stance on Planking

Well, this video has done the impossible, its made me respect planking, even if just the tiniest bit.  And it's not because planking is all of a sudden a cool thing to do, or an actual "prank." This is solely about the golf cart.

I think most guys have been in this bro's position at least once in their life, I don't know what it is about golf carts, but they just make us want to do dumb things.  I'd wager that more dumb shit injuries occur each summer involving golf carts than in any other leisure activity, its just too compelling to do something stupid.  It's not like most of us don't drive around in cars just about every day of our lives, but there is just something so novel about the golf cart that you just can't contain yourself, you have to try and pull a stunt of some sort...if planking is your stunt, then I guess I respect that.