McDonalds Employees Arrested In Illegal Immigrant Round Up

Fox News - Two McDonald's Corp. restaurant managers in Savannah, Ga., were charged Wednesday with selling identities stolen from U.S. citizens to prospective workers -- a case that federal authorities said shows the risks employers are increasingly taking to mask the hiring of illegal immigrants. U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) said Wednesday that agents executed search warrants at two McDonald's outlets and the headquarters of McDonald's-NTG Enterprises, where they seized employee records and other evidence. The Savannah-based company owns and operates six McDonald's restaurants in the area. Agents arrested managers Oscar Lazo, 51, a Peruvian national, and Eva Ramos, 35, a U.S. citizen, as well as nine immigrants at the restaurants around noon Wednesday. They also arrested two Mexican nationals, former employees of McDonald's in the area at their homes, as well as a fifth defendant, for whom ICE did not release any information.

This is seriously going to hurt the McDonalds business model.

Of course they were selling ID's to prospective employees.  Have you ever tried to order an Oreo McFlurry lately?  You're lucky if you even get anything remotely close to ice cream by the time you reach the drive up window.  

90% of the time I order that Mcflurry, by the time you roll up, the dude in the window is handing me a bag with a couple random burgers and a large fry with a sheepish look on his face, like "yea I have no clue what you said, I just got here last week and nailed this sweet job though, so please don't blow it for me." And I don't.  He'll figure out eventually that his job sucks and minimum wage aint going to pay for the Crib's lifestyle he watched on some dubbed version of MTV, probably end up in a triple decker in Chelsea defending his front door with a shotgun.  

Plus, who am I kidding.  I'm totally eating that burger and fries, just make me whole and fetch a Mcflurry and we're all good amigo.  

Awkward Pat Downs Continue, TSA Gropes A 6 Year Old Would Be Terrorist

CNN - Here, a 6-year-old is filmed by her parents as she gets the full TSA pat-down treatment at an airport in New Orleans.

Its been a while since there was a good old, TSA groping scandal, and if CNN has decided it's time to bring back this tried and true page view generator, well then it's time for the 'Tabs as well. 

This week's controversy brought to us by a 6 year old child/potential would be terrorist.  Apparently this has parents up in arms everywhere.  Have they forgotten 6 year olds can be terrorists? Like they don't have children over there in the Middle East all of a sudden?

Wake up people.  This is our country's safety we're talking about.  Like, cute little Mohammed Bin Saddam may look all innocent, reading his Curious George Book.  That is until you find out the kids got a block of C4 under that propeller cap of his. 

And don't stop with the toddlers either. Babies in diapers are a real threat as well.  It may not be a pretty or glamorous job, but someone needs to check those bulging huggies.  Sure you may just end up with a handful of shit,  but I'll feel much safer knowing that awkward smell coming from the baby in front of me is just poo, and not some fertilizer bomb this evil genius baby is about to ignite mid flight. 

Indonesian Lawmaker Quits After Getting Caught Watching Porn In Parliament

JAKARTA - An Indonesian lawmaker quit politics Monday after he was caught watching pornography on his tablet computer during a parliament session.  Arifinto was photographed watching porn on his computer in parliament on Friday. The lawmaker said he had opened a link in an email sent to him from an anonymous person, adding it was not stored on his computer. Pornography is taboo in Indonesia, the world's largest Muslim nation. The country was shocked in recent months by the internet publication of homemade sex videos involving three popular celebrities. And the Indonesian government in January threatened to close down the Blackberry phone service unless the company filtered porn sites for customers using the handsets.


Honestly, you have to feel a little bad for this guy here.  I mean it's not entirely his fault, no need to fall on the sword buddy.  He's a guy, the ability to hunt out and find porn is coded in our DNA, its genetic.  We're not even trying to find it half the time, we kind of just stumble upon it, like a compass pointing north.


Look at Father Time up above.  Guy probably never used a computer a day in his life, yet he walks into the Apple store, probably looking for fruit, and boom, guys an internet genius surfing the net for free porn.  It happens before you know it, and half the time you didn't even mean to find it.


Just this morning I was googleing for images related to a blog typed in something along the lines of pan handler, blogger and sue, and all of sudden the images were returning scandalously clad female bums, who happened to be strangely attractive.  So it really can happen to anyone.


The real person to blame here is the guy who took the photo. Who Narc's out a fellow politician? And like that guy's not at home right now slobbering over the photo? Come on.

Blogger Sues Huffington Post Seeking to Be Paid $105 Million for all the Free Blogs He Previously Agreed to Write.

NEW YORK (CNNMoney) -- A longtime Huffington Post blogger has filed a lawsuit against the site, its two co-founders and new owner AOL, seeking $105 million on behalf of himself and 9,000 other unpaid bloggers...Tasini says Arianna Huffington personally invited him to blog for the Huffington Post in 2005, shortly after the site launched. He subsequently wrote 216 unpaid posts for the site, though he stopped blogging after AOL (AOL) agreed to buy it on February 7. AOL's $315 million Huffington Post purchase served as the catalyst for the lawsuit. Tasini says HuffPo's 9,000 unpaid bloggers deserve a large cut of the windfall. "The value added by the content provided by [the unpaid bloggers] to TheHuffingtonPost.com's price was at least $105 million, none of which was shared," the legal complaint says....HuffPo bloggers, Tasini says, "are merely slaves on Arianna's plantation. We do all the work and she won't share a dime." A Huffington Post spokesman said "the lawsuit is without merit." He compared the site's unpaid bloggers with the "hundreds of people [who] go on TV shows to promote their views and ideas." He also pointed out bloggers can cross-post their work on other sites, and that the company does employ a full-time, paid staff as well.

Whoa, whoa. Easy Jonathan.  You kind of had me until you went off the reservation there with the "Slaves on Arianna's plantation" comment.  I mean, you're white bro.  You know how slavery worked here, right?

So that didn't help your case at all with me, but what sealed it is I realized that I'm in Arianna's position here and quite frankly if The Maestro or Dr. Jack came to me right now demanding $105 million for their "free" contributions, I'd 100% say no.   Like sorry guys, you knew the deal when you started.  Sure we may rake a few advertising dollars here and there,  enough for a medium sub and a fountain drink at subway, but that money can only stretch so far.  $105 million just seems unrealistic for a handful of contributions.

And sure HuffPo's situation may be a little different.  No giant media conglomerates have coming pounding on The Alt-Tab's door seeking to buy me out, yet anyway, but I can't help but feel that this still doesn't entitle Jonathan to jack shit.  

You knew the deal, you knew you were writing for free. Unless you were up in arms about not getting a cut of her advertising dollars before the deal you really don't have a case here.  Just a greedy individual seeking a quick payday, which I respect, I just don't agree with.  I'd sign up to blog for Huffpo the second they contact me, for free too.  What better way to build name recognition and a fan base for your own personal site?  It's no ones fault but your own if you didn't capitalize on writing for a site that attracts millions of readers monthly into hits for your own website. 

Elderly Mother Falls and Can't Get Up, Twin Sons Ignore Her Because the BCS Championship Game Was On

HOUSTON -- Twin Houston men were charged Tuesday with the murder of their 89-year-old mother after police say the pair allowed her to die on the floor in their foyer after she fell, then lived for three months with her decomposing, bug-infested corpse. Edwin Larry Berndt and his brother, Edward Christian Berndt, both 48, were arrested Monday when police went to check on Sybil Berndt, prompted by a neighbor who called to say the elderly woman had not been seen since January. The home was in "deplorable condition and smelled terribly," and the elderly Berndt was lying face down on the floor of the foyer, according to the documents. Sybil Berndt was dressed in a nightgown pulled up under her arms and was not wearing underwear. The body was in an advanced state of decomposition and insects were crawling around it, the documents said. The brothers told police their mother had fallen and died, and that they didn't have enough money to bury her. They said they didn't call police because they didn't want to go to jail. Police searched the home and found bank statements from JP Morgan Chase totaling about $700,000, according to court documents...On Jan. 10, Edwin Berndt said he and his brother were watching the BCS Championship football game when their mother "came in ranting and raving and she then fell down and did not get up." He said they decided to leave her on the floor because they didn't have money to provide her with medical treatment. For the first day, Sybil Berndt was conscious and able to speak, but did not ask for any help, Edwin Berndt said. His brother said they didn't give her any food or water while she lay on the floor. Three days later, on Jan. 13, the elderly woman died, Edwin Berndt told police. He told them he remembered the date because it was a day after her 89th birthday.

No shit, my initial reaction to this was, "Oh, well they're from Texas."  Like I've just come to expect these kind of outside the realm of normal society stories from Texas.   I just feel like anything goes down there, as long as it takes place on your own property.  

I 100% wouldn't be shocked if nothing happens to these twins. I'm pretty sure in Mass they'd be checked in as wards of the state at some mental hospital. You can't necessarily bag them for murder, plus their mom apparently didn't ask for help, didn't want to interrupt the BCS Championship game, obviously.  Beyond that I'm not sure Texans have laws governing the cleanliness of their homes, or disposal of corpses.  It's literally the wild west.

Oh, and the Med-Alert (Help I've Fallen and I can't get Up!) people should be all over this in their next commercial, this broad would be alive today if she had one.  Plus the advertising practically writes itself:  

"Fallen and can't get up but don't want to interrupt your loved ones while they watch the big game? Med-Alert will get you back on your feet by half time, just in time to prepare your guests snacks."

Catchy, right?

Mass Special Interest Group Puts Up Billboard Urging Voter Identification, Rep's for Illegal Latinos Object.

She doesn't look Latino?

SOUTHBRIDGE - Latino advocates are blasting a billboard erected near a largely Latino district in Southbridge that demands voters show ID on Tuesday's special election primary for a Statehouse seat. The billboard, sponsored by Tea Party-connected groups Empower Massachusetts and Show ID to Vote, tells voters to "protect the integrity of the vote" and "show ID." The groups say they also will dispatch "poll observers" to monitor the 6th Worcester District House special primary Tuesday between incumbent state Rep. Geraldo Alicea and Joanne Powell, both Charlton Democrats, Alejandra St. Guillen, executive director of Oiste, a group that helps Latinos in Massachusetts run for office, says the billboard and the observers are meant to intimidate Latino voters.

Umm, yea you hit it right on the head Alejandra, this billboard is meant to intimidate Latino voters.  You know the ones that aren't registered citizens and legally allowed to vote? Yes it is meant to intimidate them from doing something illegal.   You must be, like, a legal scholar huh?  I can't believe you caught on to the sinister plan to keep undocumented people from taking part in our country's political process.

And please don't take this as CW's endorsement of those fanatical Tea Party loons.  Couldn't be farther from it.  I've just always been astounded by how loose our voter identification standards are.  I myself am a Jr. and as a result I've ran into situations where the two little old ladies keeping track of the registry have just assumed I was my father at first.  Because 18 year old CW looked exactly like his mid 40's father.  Seriously, I could have just voted twice and no one would have known.  

Plus it's not just latino's, white people are just as at fault.  I had one guy in a class back in college who proudly told us he'd voted no fewer than 3x times in the past 5 elections.  Like it wasn't a big deal.  Just found out the names of some older people, or others that he knew wouldn't vote and voted as them.  Vote early, vote often, right?

I need to show my ID when buying cough syrup and allergy meds at Stop & Shop, I think we as a society will be ok if we require citizens to provide a form of ID before voting for our elected officials.  I mean, just ask Lawrence if they want this, probably would have avoided this whole Willy Lantigua situation.

We Get It Japan, You're Morally Superior to us, Now Would You Loot A Safe So I Can Feel Better About Myself?

OFUNATO, Japan – There are no cars inside the parking garage at Ofunato police headquarters. Instead, hundreds of dented metal safes, swept out of homes and businesses by last month's tsunami, crowd the long rectangular building. Any one could hold someone's life savings. Safes are washing up along the tsunami-battered coast, and police are trying to find their owners — a unique problem in a country where many people, especially the elderly, still stash their cash at home. By one estimate, some $350 billion worth of yen doesn't circulate. There's even a term for this hidden money in Japanese: "tansu yokin." Or literally, "wardrobe savings." So the massive post-tsunami cleanup under way along hundreds of miles (kilometers) of Japan's ravaged northeastern coast involves the delicate business of separating junk from valuables. As workers and residents pick through the wreckage, they are increasingly stumbling upon cash and locked safes. One month after the March 11 tsunami devastated Ofunato and other nearby cities, police departments already stretched thin now face the growing task of managing lost wealth.


All right, all right. We get it, you're better than everyone else on Earth.  Now if you'd like us to keep donating can you throw us a bone and loot a store or crack open a safe that doesn't belong to you?


I don't mind donating to a good cause, but youv'e got to try and help yourself here.  Your family just lost everything, you're accepting financial aid from all over the world, the least you could do to help that situation is crack the safe that may or may not belong to you and use the money to buy your family some food or a night's stay in a hotel room.  No one is going to judge you, we swear, we just want to feel a little better about ourselves.


Of course in America we wouldn't have this issue with the safes.  American's don't have a life savings.  We have credit cards.  Who needs to save money when you can just run up debt, right?

Costco to Sell High End Engagement Rings, Guys, This is Still a Bad Idea

Daily Mail - It's not the first place that comes to mind when shopping for engagement rings, but warehouse retailer Costco is fast establishing itself as a one-stop shop for brides and grooms. Weeks after unveiling a line of wedding gowns, the retail giant is now selling a single 6.77-carat diamond solitaire ring for $1million. But for those balking at the seven-figure sum, it's still a bargain, as the the D colour, Internally Flawless diamond has been valued at $1.6million by the International Gemological Institute.

 Something tells me that no matter what you say, or how much you tell your ex-girlfriend that ring cost, if she finds out it's from Costco she's going to say no and leave your ass. 

 I don't know much about the whole engagement ring arena, but I do know it's supposed to be a statement of love and class.  And no one has ever had love or class on their mind when shopping for rings with 48 rolls of toilet paper, a life sized jumbo bag of popcorn, and a big enough box of Frosted Flakes to feed an entire dorm for a year.

Plus she's just going to nag you because you got it at a discount price.  Like "oh, so you can pay 1 million for this cheap wholesale diamond but you couldn't spring for full MSRP at a real store? Cheap bastard."

Woman Reporter Complains About not Being Allowed in Masters Lockerroom, Maybe Guys Just Want Privacy When They're Taking A Dump?

(CNN) -- A female sports reporter blasted the all-male Augusta National Golf Club on Monday, a day after a security guard wouldn't let her in to interview one of the stars of the recent Masters tournament..."This is not an issue of sensitivity. This is just an issue of doing my job," Sullivan said Monday. "I'm a credentialed reporter. I should have been allowed in."..."It should not have happened," said Steve Ethun, Augusta National's communications director, noting that the guard was not aware of the club's policies. "We will work as hard as we can to make sure it does not happen again." The security guard, who was also female, "was very apologetic" in denying her access to the locker room in the clubhouse, according to Sullivan..."(The guard) said it's sort of this open bathroom area," the reporter said. "I said, 'Yeah, like every professional locker room I go into.' "

Everyone realizes this was a female security guard, right? Not like Hootie the ultimate bigot sticking it to women one more time before he croaks.

She wasn't doing it for some sexist reason, she was simply saving this reporter from walking into an open bathroom with dudes dropping steamers left and right.  Have you ever golfed before?  18 holes takes a solid 5 hours when it is not televised, the Masters takes a solid 6-7 hours.  By the time these guys reach the clubhouse those two hot dogs and bag of funions they pounded at the turn are just wreaking havoc on their bowels.  The last thing they need is a woman walking around while they're trying to do work on the shitter.  Is it too much to ask to be able to unleash one male dominated un-inhibitted shit? 

Plus it's not like there is ever men in the locker room for woman's sports...Yea I know it's largely because woman's sports aren't newsworthy and why would any self respecting male reporter cover them, but I'm still pretty sure even if one ever tried he'd be disallowed.  

So can everyone agree to do us all a favor, when this same thing happens next year (and it does every year, can we just ignore it like the non-issue that it is.