Tuition for Illegals?

BOSTON (FOX 25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - Gov. Deval Patrick says he'll use his second term to try to implement the rest of an advisory panel's recent recommendations on immigration reform, including in-state tuition for illegal immigrant students and more English classes.

Two words, Fuck No. 

So one day after I read that California is apparently blindly pushing a similar measure (despite the fact that as a State they are bankrupt), Deval decides Massachusetts can't be one-upped in the buffoonery department.  Hey Deval, how about you start serving the people that elected you.  And here is a hint, they're not the illegal immigrants that you continue to pander to, those people can't even vote. Shit most of them don't pay taxes so its not like they're even lining your pockets, you must be the dumbest elected politician in our states history.  

Seriously, the fact that we're constantly being bombarded with stories of government shortfalls in the budget, public layoffs (schools, fire and police etc...), schools cutting sports programs, and underfunded State Universities doesn't mean anything to you? 

If you want to help the illegals then how about cutting the tape and wait time to becoming a citizen and get these illegals paying the same taxes the rest of us do.  Making them wait 5 or 10 years whatever the ludicrous wait time is right now, only to have to answer a few questions like "who are the Presidents of Mount Rushmore" or "What are the first 10 ammendments of the Constitution referred to as" is asinine.  If this is all the knowledge it takes to qualify as a citizen then we should just be enrolling all new immigrants into a 6th grade social studies and history class.  Pass the final you're a citizen.  Boom, The Alt Tab just solved the whole illegal immigration problem, what else ya got?

I really hope that Deval has a few level headed (or irate, I'd take irate) staffers who can talk some sense into this jack-wad.  Because the hell if I'm funding little Consuella Villalobos just because her parents jumped the fence instead of going through the legal channels.

Slurpees Are Blowing Up

CNN -- When President Obama commented that the Republicans were standing around drinking Slurpees while the Democrats were busy creating real change in Washington, it caused quite a storm. Now that he's sitting down with the new Republican leadership this week, the so-called "Slurpee Summit" is the talk of the nation...While most of us have had one of 7-Eleven's frozen concoctions, there's plenty more you probably don't know about this too cool drink.  Like so many great inventions, the Slurpee was created by accident. In the late-1950s, Omar Knedlik of Kansas City owned an old Dairy Queen whose machinery was always breaking down. When his soda fountain went out, he improvised by putting some bottles in the freezer to stay cool. However, when he popped the top, they were a little frozen and slushy. Folks loved them and started requesting "those pops that were in a little bit longer."

All right, so Slurpees seem to be popping up everywhere in the news lately ever since Obama made the crack about Republicans a few weeks ago (I thought he'd follow it up about how the Dem's in the White House crush Kool-Aid, but I guess that would be hoping for a bit too much comedy from your president).  I mean everywhere, CNN can't go a day without having a slurpee related article, it pops up in google trends almost every other day, and I'd imagine if I was on twitter it would be one of the most tweeted about topics as well.

But I don't get it.  Do people actually drink these things? Like other than on a dare when they're 12 years old?  I have a confession to make, I've never had a slurpee and honestly couldn't see myself having one in the forseeable future up until now.

Am I missing out?  Is it just for X-gamer and stoner types, or can anyone drink these and be socially acceptable?  Do I need to re-evaluate my stance on the Slurpee?  Drop a comment and let us know.  If they really are that good suggest a flavor and I'll go out and give it a whirl.  You only live once right.

Chlorophyl? More like Boro-phyl, Am I Right?

Take it easy Gestapo.  Christ. 

I've never understood people's indignant response toward the yawn.  I mean I get that yawning right in someones face or in a smaller more intimate setting it is rude, but in a lecture hall, class room, large presentation, etc... it should be more accepted.  Its hardly a personal slight, the frigen guy was just tired and let out a yawn.  Its a bodily function.  Shit happens. 

Reminds me of a time in high school, I had this real fascist of an English teacher.  Just a mean, self-loathing prick.  I let out the slightest yawn while the class was reading Shakespeare or The Great Gatsby or some shit and all hell broke loose.  Class was stopped, I was called out in front of everyone and he asked me a question that to this day I still don't know how I could have answered correctly. 

"Are we keeping you awake?" 

I froze.  Mind you this was early in CW's freshman year, still not aware of his own awesomeness and oozing with untapped wit and charm but unaware of how to bring it to the surface.  I pondered the question for a few seconds, but could not come to a suitable answer.  After this dickhead prompted me again for an answer I sheepishly replied Yes, to which I was met with the response of see me after class.  But think about it.  What was I supposed to answer?  Yes implies that he's keeping me awake and I'd rather be sleeping.  An answer of No seems to imply that he's not keeping me awake, that I find him boring enough to sleep right on through (he was that boring).  I was stuck, we met after class, I bit my tongue and didn't call him out on being a power tripping asshole, in turn he didn't fail me .  But I still wonder to this day what the correct answer would have been? 

Vanity Plate Leads to Arrest

MANCHESTER, N.H. – Police say a New Hampshire woman charged with robbing a pharmacy wasn't hard to find: Her name was on the license plate of the getaway car. Police say a motorist watched the woman flee from a Rite Aid parking lot in Manchester. The witness also reported seeing the woman toss items from her car Friday morning. The vanity plate read "B-USHER." Police tell WCVB-TV that the car was registered to 43-year-old Bonnie Usher, who was arrested at her home. Police recovered stolen money and found a ski mask tossed from the car. An official at the Hillsborough County Jail says Usher was being held Sunday night on $60,000 bail. The jail's paperwork did not indicate whether she had retained a lawyer.

Little known fact, New Hampshire (Boston's largest suburb) has the second most vanity plates per capita in the nation.  For a suburb who's motto is "live free or die" giving off a strong minimal government vibe, their citizens sure make it easy for their government to track them down when necessary.  Certainly makes police work easier, no more asking witnesses for make and model of the car,  just have to ask if the redneck put their name or any other cutesy phrases on the back of the car.  

It must really work to curb road rage and speeding infractions though.  I'd be far less tempted to piss off other drivers on the road if I knew they could identify me by my license plate.  Certainly wouldn't be flipping people off at every perceived slight anymore.

Man's Committment To Sandwiches Pushed To New Level

(NewsCore) - Hunger beat out the hospital for one Connecticut man. Shot twice near the groin, New Haven resident Miguel Soto III had a choice: Eat the sandwich he just bought, or rush to the emergency room just a block away. He headed home, sat down in the kitchen and polished off the hero before asking his dad for a ride to Yale-New Haven hospital, WVIT-TV reported late Wednesday.

Sadly, in yet another example of poor, sloppy journalism, the site does not report the two most vital pieces of information at play here though.  What kind of sandwich was it? And where did he get it from (seriously this sub shop should have a huge billboard that just says good enough to die for)?  

I'm going to rule out just about any kind of cold-cut sandwich because no man would be that ridiculous.  Has to be hot and has to be toasted.  I initially thought steak but then reconsidered,  good steak tip or steak and cheese subs are really a dime a dozen.  Each city has a claim to the best and for the most part they're all the same, can't be that.  Same argument goes for chicken parm, anyone can make a good one.  Meatball sub would be a good contender, but anyone that's ever heated up the leftovers to a meatball sub knows its almost as good cold or reheated as it was when it was piping hot.  

This leaves really only one option in my mind, the Thanksgiving Sub.  Its the pinnacle of sub-making and not every sub shop even attempts to make it.  Takes just the right balance of turkey and stuffing to protect the bread from becoming mush from the cranberry sauce and gravy.  When it's perfected, there is nothing better, dare I say worth dying for. Yep, that's gotta be it. 

Crazy Euro Teens

I don't think I've watched an Internet video before that made me feel more sick.  I've skydived twice and I felt more like throwing up watching these crazy assholes walking on girders 900 feet up than I ever did either of those times.  Just insane. 

I'm scared as hell of whatever country they're from.  Just fearless bastards.  Make a note Obama, do not piss whatever country these kids are from off. 

What Was This Guy Thinking?

(NewsCore) - Four days after Georgia Bloomberg, the daughter of New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, took a terrifying spill from a horse that left her with a concussion and a fractured vertebra, the billionairess's boyfriend dumped her, the New York Post reported Sunday.
Olympic speed-skating gold-medalist Joey Cheek, who graced the cover of a Wheaties box, fell for Hizzoner's youngest daughter at a Fashion's Night Out event in September.


 Dude, you're a male ice skater, it doesn't even matter that you were in the Olympics, I'm pretty sure I make more money than you do.  Disney on Ice can't pay that well.  Shes a frigen billionaire's daughter! This guy had it, the rare chance to be a gold digging man.  You stick with this chic while she rehabs from a spinal injury and she'd basically have to marry you with out a prenup.  You could have been swimming in a pool of gold coins ala Scrooge within one year.  But nope, Joey Cheek is an idiot.


So not only did you give up presumably your only chance not to end up serving coffee at Starbucks once this whole skating fantasy flames out, you've also ostracized yourself from the female community.  There's not a female in the country that is going to get within 15 feet of you after you left this innocent, defenseless girl all on her own when she needed you most.  If she can't keep you around during the hard times with her billion dollar checkbook what chance would  any average girl have?  Its gonna be a long lonly life Joey, a long lonely life.

Jessica Simpsons Downhill Spiral Continues

 

PEOPLE - Touchdown! Jessica Simpson and free agent NFL player Eric Johnson are getting married, a rep confirms to PEOPLE...As for Johnson, who's played for the San Francisco 49ers and the New Orleans Saints, the 6' 3" Needham, Mass., native has excelled at sports since he was a kid. At 13, he hit a hole in one on the golf course, and he broke 11 school records while playing wide receiver for Yale University. He's also a former academic All-American. 

This poor thing.  Who would have thought 5 years ago that Nick Lachey would win this break up, the guy does nothing as far as I can tell and still bagged a hott chic (announcing his engagement to Vanessa Minnillo earlier this week).  But Jessica, good God, have some respect.

Her career and anything to do with her personal life has been in free fall ever since her divorce (everything except her waste line I guess).  From Pop Star and Married with reality show, to divorcee with somewhat of a country career (we can be honest, its a big step down from pop), to dating NFL qb's, to making appearances after apparently eating an entire Thanksgiving dinner (picture above), and now to this.  Engaged to a former back up NFL tight end?  That's as slumming it as it gets for a former Hollywood Pop-Star.  Never thought she'd become more of a train wreck than Britney.  Just a strange weird world Hollywood is.

Great Advertising Dude

Saw this beauty this past weekend, knew I had to take a picture.  I have to wonder how no one talked him out using his name for the company though? I'd imagine the workers show up hiding their faces like criminals when the media tries to video tape them.

I, like most sane people I imagine, would never shop with Dick Touchy-Feely over here for car insurance, but I know who would.  Diddlers and Pervs.  Without knowing anything about this guys business I can guarantee he is the number one insurer of panel vans (otherwise known as rape mobiles).