The Blog has Been Out Sick This Week

And by that I mean a mere days after ridiculous all animal based flu's, swine, bird, equine, and gingivitis, I myself came down with the flu...in the middle of June. And I'm supposed to believe that's not a conspiracy? Please.

Anyway, the blog has badly suffered as a result. My night time ritual of drowning myself in nasal spray and NyQuil has rendered my morning blogging skills non-existent...its all I can do at this point to walk a straight line to the shower, never mind typing out coherent paragraphs. My usual MO when sick is to call out of work at the first sign of a sore throat to spend the day blogging and plowing through Zicam. I decided to suck it up this week and go to my real job that pays me real money, and let my fake job that pays me no money suffer instead. I was kinda getting a reputation for being soft and not working through common colds...a reputation I don't understand at all. How is it better to come in and sneeze, sniffle, and cough all over your co-workers again?

Anyway, I'm going to try and get shit back on track starting tomorrow morning, and maybe a blog or two after this while I'm on my lunch break. See ya'll then.

PS: Going forward I'll be the white guy on the subway with the dentists mask on...maybe the crazy asians are on to something.

Quick State of the Blog: I'm Not Dead Yet

Not quite anyway, but I definitely feel like death warmed over. The cause of this misery? A barely two year old baby. Yea, that's right a baby. Sometimes cute, sometimes cuddly, sometimes funny, always bio-hazardous. They're like walking, crawling, babbling weapons of mass destruction. 

It is a guaranteed fact that I'll be sick within 24 hours of being in closed quarters with a child under the age of 5. First off, kids are always sick, just to varying degrees but you'll never come across a toddler who doesn't have dangling boogers on a daily basis.  And secondly, you throw me, an adult who generally spends the majority of his time around  other adults capable of washing their hands, blowing their nose, and frowning upon their peers who choose to eat non-edible things they find on the ground, and you have a volatile combination. 

And that's exactly where we're at right now, day 3 of a dastardly head cold that so far neither of the 'qyls have been able to wrangle. It's been fantastic. It's not even the kind of cold where I can enjoy calling out of work, it's just misery. I can't even nap it off because for some reason this cold has come equipped with a vicious case of the snores, just waking myself up every 3 minutes, chopping down a forest with my breathing. And try finding a cold remedy that lists snoring on its symptoms list...there's no variant of tussin for that...It's gotten so bad that a few minutes ago, while completely wide awake and watching tv, I snored. That's right, I snored while wide awake and mostly coherrent...I've never even heard of that before, has me debating whether I should be on the phone with Mass General telling them to get their best team of Doc's down here to diagnose this brand new plague that I've attained. 

But anyway, just wanted to check in and let you all know that I haven't abandoned the blog, I'm just a bedridden adult whiner who's ran out of ginger ale and saltines and still acts like he's 7 whenever he gets a cold...except they apparently don't show Flipper and Gilligan's Island on TBS during the day anymore.