Jesus May Have Had A Wife?

Boston - CAMBRIDGE -- A Harvard professor has identified what appears to be a scrap of fourth century Egyptian papyrus that contains the first known explicit reference to Jesus as married, a discovery that could fuel the millennia-old debate about priestly celibacy in the Catholic church. The fragment, which has been preliminarily authenticated but still must undergo further testing, portrays Jesus as referring to a woman as his legitimate disciple -- most likely his wife, whom the text’s author probably believed to be Mary Magdalene.

 Oh Jesus, has anyone gotten word to the US Embassy in Israel? Is everyone ok?...Oh wait, hold on... What's that? Radical Christians haven't rioted and aren't causing physical harm to innocent people over a liberal US professor going around saying things that directly refute dogma believed true for millenniums? That's odd...I kinda just assumed that was the standard response anytime someone says something about your religion that you don't take kindly too...


PS: Just to prove not all Muslims are militant savages with no sense of humor, check out the #MuslimRage topic on Twitter, some real gems like:

Call Center Employees Riot after Mall Sells out of Blackberry's

Fox - Thousands of people in Indonesia reportedly lined up Friday morning to try and get their hands on the first batch of BlackBerry Bold 9790 smartphones to hit store shelves around the world. Hundreds of police were deployed to the Indonesian mall as fears mounted that a riot could ensue, according to a report by the Associated Press. By Friday morning, people outside of the mall started to get impatient and even started rattling the gates, the Associated Press said. When rumors hit that the smartphones were sold out, the crowd of 3,000 went nuts. While the Associated Press notes several people fainted in the mob, it did not report whether there were any injuries or deaths.

DO NOT get between a call center employee and their cell phone...That's the lesson here.  And imagine if this was an Iphone we were talking about? If this is how they react to Blackberry's, I shudder the thought. Might be better off not releasing the Iphone there ever if this is the case, because that shit will sell out and people will be murdered...Guys relax, its just a Blackberry, they're all the same, an awesome keyboard and outdated technology. You can buy the model from 2 years ago and won't miss a thing, I swear.

Closing Time For OWS & Occupiers Everywhere....Time For You to Go Home To the Places You Will Be From

MyFox Boston - More than 1,000 officers descended on the park shortly after midnight local time, issuing protesters with eviction letters and warning that they would be arrested if they remained. The cops were followed by sanitation workers, one of whom was overheard saying, "We're gonna disinfect the hell out of this place." The eviction letters declared that protesters should "immediately leave the park on a temporary basis so it can be cleared and restored for its intended use."

The day of reckoning has come! The revolution is here!

No, the Occupiers didn't accomplish shit, common sense has just finally prevailed and the park is being cleared out, Occupiers in major cities everywhere (and places like Worcester and Manchester too I guess) get ready, you'll be next. 

Props to Oakland for being the only encampment to actually fight back and make shit difficult for the man, I can gaurantee sanitation department workers weren't walking through Occupy Oakland making jokes about "disinfecting the hell" out of their park. Sanitation workers out there probably had to wear full on riot gear, pretty sure you could have just lured the NY occupiers away from their camp with the promise of Green Tea and a free Phish concert just around the block, they'd have gone peacefully and willfully. 

End of an era guys, the worlds most Urban campsite ever is over. Closing Time, You Don't Gotta Go Home, But You Can't Stay Here (but you should totally go home).

Biggest Overreaction to a Women's Volleyball Game You'll See Today

Women's Volleyball Game Ends In Insanity - Watch MoreFunny Videos

Guys, its just women's athletics, relax, nothing to take serious, I'm sure its just like when I played sports at the YMCA as a youngster, everyones getting a trophy, there'll probably be a nice jamboree party too. I could see rioting if this was something important, like men's volleyball, or even girls beach volleyball, but this just looked like your run of the mill, awkward women's sporting event. No need to turn it into downtown Bosnia.

PS: Someone tell that guy with the camera that the local newspaper will not be giving out pulitzer for his coverage of fireworks at the local gymnasium, get the hell out of there before you get a second degree burn bro.

This I could See Rioting Over