Friday, April 27, 2012

Red Sox Fans Pulse Check: Carl Crawford - MotherF*cker!


ESPN - The Boston Red Sox announced Thursday night that Carl Crawford has a sprained ulnar collateral ligament in his left (throwing) elbow, the injury that often results in Tommy John elbow reconstruction surgery. But rather than opt for surgery, the team said the outfielder will follow a protocol of more conservative treatment. "It is what it is what it is," Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine said Thursday night after Boston's 10-3 over the White Sox in Chicago. "We'll just let Mother Nature take the time to heal him up and get him back. I don't know how to explain it or put it into my thought. I wish he was 100 percent. Not playing for awhile is going to kill him more than it's killing me." A major league source told ESPN's Pedro Gomez that Crawford is expected to miss three months, a timetable that Crawford challenged in a text message to John Tomase of the Boston Herald. "I don't know where they got three months from," Crawford texted, adding he doesn't expect to be out that long..."I'm good," he texted. "It's just one of those things you can't control. I'm still looking forward to coming back strong." The Red Sox said in their statement that Dr. James Andrews, who examined Crawford Thursday, confirmed the diagnosis made by the team's medical staff.


Goddamnit. Carl, you're driving us freaking insane...I'm sorry, I know it's not your fault, I'm trying really hard here not to be a dick to you, but the circumstances...FUCK...I just need to be upset at someone and unfortunately, you're an easy target. 

Here the Sox are, 4 game winning streak, bats are alive, Felix Doubront is the blossoming ace of the staff (albeit with a 4.09 ERA, but still, ace of the staff), Bobby V hasn't said anything dumb in a couple of weeks, and then this. 

Please excuse me if I believe Pedro Gomez' time table over your own, too. At this point he has much more credibility with me than you do. Guy literally had his nose up and around Barry Bonds butthole for years, pretty sure he's more than capable of snooping your expected time table for return. So three months it is, I won't believe it'll be a day less until I see you take the field. Again, I know this isn't really your fault, injuries happen, but shit, you're kinda like the Official Ruiner of the Boston Red Sox right now...like that should be your title: 2012 Ruiner. 

PS: I know everyone swears by James Andrews, and he may really be a miracle worker, but goddamn do I freaking hate that guy...Let's be honest, that guy has never given an ounce of good news to any athlete, anywhere, ever.  He's like the Grim Reaper of sports medicine...Yea, he's probably saving some of these guys careers, but as a fan the second I hear his name associated with someone from one of my teams, I immediately head to Kappys for a six-pack. Nothing good ever comes from visiting James Andrews. Just once I'd like to hear a story saying, "he visited James Andrews today, turns out he's fine."  Nope, for some reason flying down to his clinic in Alabama is like the Bermuda Triangle for tendons and ligaments...no one has ever come back in tact.