Is It Time for Boston's Mayor Menino to Rule Like that Leper King-Guy in Braveheart?

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BOSTON (FOX 25 /MyFoxBoston.com) – Boston Mayor Thomas Menino made an appearance at the Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital on Thursday to show off get well cards that he received while hospitalized. IMAGES: Menino makes first appearance after hospital stay Mayor Menino was transferred to a rehabilitation hospital on Monday after spending a month at Brigham and Women's Hospital recovering from an infection and a compression fracture in his back.


Yes, Yes it is.

Sorry Mayor, I know you're going through some stuff, but no one wants to see that. I mean that's tough to look at, ya know? Doesn't mean you have to give up the dictatorship of Boston that you've assumed in the last decade though, just means you need a son or some other puppet rule to come down from your isolated tower and make decisions for you. Worked just fine for the Leper guy for the majority of the movie...and that was a long film. I'd have to imagine you could keep that act up until at least your next election season. At that point you're hopefully looking more like your normal self, which, I never though I'd say this, would be better for everyone. Until then, rule on Leper King.

 PS: This guy's credit in the movie is just "Leper." Just non-descript Leper...He was the king of feudal Scotland as far as I can remember and they title his part just Leper? No respect at all.

China Man's House is Right Smack Dab In the Middle of the Highway

Business Insider - When the government decided to build a highway to Wenling, a town in China's Zhejiang province, it offered everyone in the neighborhood compensation to relocate. But farmer Luo Baogen and his wife refused to move, saying the compensation wasn't enough for them to rebuild their home elsewhere. Faced with Luo's refusal to leave, the government decided to go ahead and build the road around it anyway. Reuters reports that this phenomenon – when one building remains, after those around it have been demolished – is called a 'nail house'.

-Desirable, classical Cantonese style 4 floor house in Urban Setting. 5 Bedrooms, two Garages, easy access to major highways, tons of natural light and headlights...Watch your electricity bill cut in half! Open house this Saturday. Directions: Drive down highway, park car.

Bro-your house is in the middle of the fucking highway! Move. Like I get making a stand but don't you think this is a little ridiculous? Isn't this the same China that has traffic jams that last for up to 9 days! You tell your wife you're going out for a carton of cigarettes she's going to think you left her, even though you're probably just in bumper to bumper 500 yards down the road. 

And on a side note, am I the only one that kind of assumed that, in the Land of China, when the government decided it wanted to do something, it kinda just did it. Like couldn't they have just knocked this house over whether or not Luo over here agreed or not? What is this a warmer, fuzzier China? Certainly not the Red Devil I remember.

So This Was Going On In My Neighborhood Last Night

I specifically like the part where Everett Police asked for anyone with any information to call them...hey guys, how about you call me? What the fuck!?

I'm sitting here last night with a helicopter circling for hours with his spotlight raining down, and the only reason I had a clue what was going on? Twitter. That's right, a few people who listen to police scans and broadcast their listenings on Twitter were the only thing that kept me from going outside to see what was going on while a murder/attempted murder suspect may or may not have been hiding in my hedges.

This went on for a couple of hours, no reverse 911 call to residents, no breaking news on the local channels as it apparently missed the news cycle...I'd have even taken one of those terrifying severe weather alert things that get pushed to your cell phones, but you know, instead of warning me about tornado's and hail, maybe just something like, "Don't Go Outside a Gunman is Hunkered Down in Your Shrubs."

But no. I got nothing. I sat here and received minimal updates from Twitter and downloaded 3 different police scanner apps to try and figure out what was going on. And it's not like this morning's report is showering praise on the Everett police for finding this kid, kinda vague and sounds like they didn't find him, which, you know, wouldn't be a bad thing to warn residents that an armed and dangerous gunman is in the area.

Frigen Everett. And Steve Wynn wants to build a casino here? Hope they take him for a tour of the crime scene literally a half a mile from the proposed site on Wednesday.

This Road Rage Video is So Good that I have Nothing to Add

Just pure unadulterated fun. And for the record, I've been both the cutter and the blocker several times before, and I can tell you for a fact that I'm in the right no matter which side I'm on. I fully support both of these assholes.

So Hostess Might Not Be Really Shutting Down? Well Don't You All Look Like Idiots

CNN - WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. (CNNMoney) -- Hostess Brands and a key union agreed Monday to try to mediate their dispute -- an unexpected development that could spare the company from permanently shutting down... On Friday, management announced a shutdown of Hostess and appeared before U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Robert Drain on Monday afternoon seeking approval to liquidate. But Drain said he wanted the parties to try one last time to reach agreement. Drain will serve as the mediator at a session scheduled for Tuesday afternoon. Only one day of talks is set for now. Hostess CEO Greg Rayburn said the company needs a final decision on Tuesday. Monday's hearing on the liquidation motion was rescheduled for Wednesday at 11 a.m..Hostess has announced its intention to sell its brands and recipes for various products and other assets as a way to generate cash for its creditors. Even if the products are purchased by other companies and once again sold to consumers, most potential buyers are unlikely to rehire Hostess employees to produce or deliver those products.

You see? You see what just happened, crazy internet people? You all went ham, buying up up Twinkies (arguably the WORST Hostess treat) hoarding pallets of those damn things, selling for upwards of $5,000, on Ebay, and for what? Absolutely nothing. Just a bunch of idiots overreacting. Just fucking nuts.

Sometimes I can't help but chuckle when I hear about people blaming the government, Wall Street, the mortgage companies, Obama, etc...for our countries fiscal problems...Please. Those institutions may not have helped, but I'm pretty sure our biggest problem is that as a society we're a bunch of assholes who you can literally sell anything to with the right advertising...and that's what this is shaping up to be...the biggest unconventional marketing ploy in history. Twinkies just made their nut over this whole shutdown rumor. Probably sold more gross pastries in a week than they do in a typical year.

What makes it even more laughable is that Twinkies, Ring-Dings, etc...those were never going anywhere anyway. If we didn't read in a society where people overreact to sensational headlines, everyone would have read the actual articles, saw that, yes, Hostess is closing, but also that they're selling their assets and recipes. You don't honestly think that all those iconic treats were just going to disappear did you? That's like half an aisle in the Supermarket, of course someone was going to pick those things up. Meanwhile you'd have these morons just going into debt for hundreds of twinkies that'll end up just getting packed away and going to waste with all their old Y2K supplies. Absolutely nuts.


PS: My biggest problem with Twinkies? That I don't think I referenced in my earlier post...They don't taste like anything that exists anywhere else in the world. I mean, maybe, MAYBE, vaguely like pecan pie filling, but that's just a hint. The overwhelming Twinkie taste is Twinkie. Twinkies taste like Twinkies. And that's fucking weird. I had more of a handle on what the white mystery flavor of Airheads was than I did for what flavor a twinkie was supposed to be.

Double PS: I'm sure the 18,500 people who's jobs were/are reportedly on the line appreciate all the attention going to their shitty cakes and pastries...No outrage over more unemployed Americans, just that we can get our fill of high calorie treats.

Obviously the Struggling Tobacco Farmer Turned His Property Into A Gun Range

First off, I absolutely love this tobacco farmer, he's everything I want my tobacco farmer to be. Easy going southern demeanor, with a bit of indignance for the government with the "The government hasn't been good to tobacco but tobacco has been good to the US government line." Perfect.

Second of all, OF COURSE the struggling tobacco farm looked to guns as a way to make more money. Of course they did. Look, I'm not begrudging anyone for how they legally make their money, I'm not begrudging gun owners either, I just can't help but laugh when I think about a southern tobacco farmer...with a huge farm...racking his brain for ways to make more money of his land, and just coming back to guns time and time again. I mean, if this guy sets up a little distillery out there in the woods he'd be the most popular guy with the ATF in the country. Just a one stop shop for all their regulatory check ins. It's just too ironic (in the Alanis Morissette kinda way, not in the actual definition of irony kinda way).

Tobacco and Guns, that's just what southerners do.

Lance Armstrong, Just Lounging and Being a Boss

Love it. I'd say Lance is going to be just fine. Just a big F-U to cancer, doping committees, and assholes that actually think anyone in cycling is clean.

The Sacajawea Sucks: Fantasy Football and Creative Payment Ideas

So I've been racking my brain the last couple of days on how to pay my fantasy football dues in a somewhat creative way. The past few times I've resorted to writing out checks with bogus memo lines such as "Money Laundering," "Terrorist Funding," "human trafficking," etc...This year I'm looking to change that up, it's gotten a little old, and frankly, I'm not sure how many checks like that I can send out without triggering a federal audit and a possible trip to Gitmo.

Anyway, I came up with a few ideas, taping one dollar bills end to end together, writing hundreds of checks for various random amounts forcing the commish to sign each and every one (yes I'd be signing them too, but it doesn't seem like work when you know there's a hilarious payoff coming), mailing one dollar bills in individual envelopes (stamp cost might not be worth it), and then I came to Sacajawea's. Just paying with rolls of gold coins. Genius, right?

WRONG. So wrong. I wouldn't wish a stack of Sacajawea's on my worst enemy, never mind the commish. Sacajawea's are the WORST.  To the point where I'm not even sure how, in 2012, a year where we've openly discussed getting rid of the penny, and thrown out plans for eliminating physical currency all together, the government and federal mint still thinks there are people out there who won't mind carrying around a satchel of gold shekels like freaking Ebeneezer Scrooge. It's absurd. Have you ever put a $10 or $20 bill into a parking garage pay machine, or subway ticket machine, thinking you'd be getting back a few bills in change only to hear dozens of coins flying out like you just hit the jackpot at a casino slot machine? Such a sinking feeling.

You walk around all day like you just got robbed, because let's be honest, that's not real money. I mean, yea, technically it's legal tender, but no non-sociopath can go into a store and saddle up at the register with a handful of  Sacajawea's with a clear conscience. You're ripping that store off. You know it, the store owner knows it, the people behind you know it. "Look at this cheapskate asshole, ripping off this poor small business proprietor," they're probably all saying. It sucks, I won't do it. I'd rather walk around feeling like I'd been ripped off and take those Sacajawea's home to put them where I belong...In my pathetic coin collection...Couple half dollars, a silver dollar, the odd Deutschmark and kroner here or there, and a pile of Sacajawea's I'll never spend...Just leave them there to collect dust and take it as a loss.

The moral of the story, Commish, rest easy. I won't be paying you in stacks of Sacajawea's.

Tom Curran Asks Tom Brady What We've All Been Wondering for 3 Years

For the record, asking an NFL Quarterback, MVP, Superbowl MVP, one of the greatest players ever, who also happens to go home to a supermodel every night, "Who does that? Is that the whole self… Do you lay that out? Does someone lay that out for you?”...Might be the most emasculating question in the history of sports questions.

It honestly doesn't get any more humiliating than someone asking you if you're clothes were laid out for you. You just can't come back from that. Brady knew it, just conceded with a "no comment" and moved on.

Brilliant interviewing by Tom Curran. 

On Election Day, A Brief Reminder of How Batshit Crazy Our Politics Are

CNN - More money, less unity Neither candidate can say his deadlocked fate in the polls is because people have not heard his message. No other election has ever seen so much money raised and spent to win the White House -- latest estimates have the 2012 campaign costing, all in, as much as $6 billion. All those ads, all those TV interviews with the candidates and their surrogates, all the debates and bus trips. They've each had their chances to break out over and over again. Yet neither has been able to get the job done. They may have, however, accomplished another task. Although they each gave lip service to the idea of us all being in this together, the divisiveness of the race itself seems to have hardened opinions even more in red and blue America. In the end, it remains to be seen if there will be a president of the United States.

$6 Billion dollars folks. That's a lot of guac. A shit ton of money, if you ask me, just to parade through a series of commercials and rallies, eloquently pointing out that your opponent is an asshole, without actually saying those words. I don't know about the rest of you, but I think I'd prefer one of the candidates to just come out and be like, "Hey, vote for me, I don't really like the other guys opinions, he's a bit of a doofus, and between you and me, most of the Senate can't stand him...Oh yeah, and he's a horrendous tipper." Boom election won and all those ridiculously misguided philanthropists and Super PAC's who donated the equivalent of a few very poor country's National GDP's...well maybe they can funnel their money elsewhere into something useful instead of continuing to advance their league of shadows type political cult they've got going on. Or you know, maybe just pay a little more in taxes, we have this huge debt thing I keep hearing about.