Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Young New Hires at the Office Are So Damn Annoying

How I Look At Work After A Couple of Glasses of Wine At Dinner

So I was walking out of the office last night behind a couple of new hires, they were swapping stories about what they did the previous night, who they were out with, how much they drank, where they woke up, yada, yada, yada, and I couldn't help but feel an irrational tinge of disgust for the two kids...and it's not something new, its something that's been growing within me for a while now. I'm becoming less and less tolerant of new hires at our office and more and more resentful of their youth...and I'm only 27. 

Now, I work at a huge company, entry level really is entry level, these are kids fresh out of college, so we generate a lot of turnover and there are a lot of new faces all the time. I was one of those new faces once. I was one of the kids swapping tales about going out the night before, waking up hungover and still plowing through the work day and then going out to do it again the next night. That was me. And now, I Hate those kids. 

Now if I have three beers while watching a sox game during the week I have to make damn sure I hydrate with like, a half gallon of water before bed, otherwise I'm useless the next morning. Back then? I specifically remember one Tuesday morning (that's right Tuesday) where I woke up puking my brains out. I was still living at home at the time and I specifically remembered my dad walking by and shaking his head, asked if I was going to make it in to work, I said yes, and that was that. I wasn't sure if he was bewildered as to how I was actually managing to go in, or disgusted that his oldest son was singing to the toilet on a Tuesday morning...I always assumed it was disgusted, but now I think that was wrong. I look back now with bewilderment as to how my friends and I did it, just a few short years ago and wonder what happened.

It's not that I'm particularly proud of my exploits during that time, it's just more of a bizarre fond memory that I now resent seeing play out in the lives of younger people in the office. I do laugh though, knowing that a few years will go by lightning fast on these kids and then they'll be the ones in my chair making the depressed realization that they are just not that young anymore...of course by then I'll be 30, and fuck, then I'll really hate those kids.  You really just can't win when it comes to aging, can you?