Monday, April 16, 2012

Three Hoodrats Rob House, Claim to be Wrangling Snakes Like the Late Steve Irwin


HuffPo - Crikey, that's a bad excuse! Three burglary suspects gave three different stories as to why they were inside a Florida home Thursday -- including a tall tale about trying to capture a snake like a famous dead crocodile hunter...All three gave different improbable stories when questioned about the home invasion, ...Moultrie told cops that he was in the area looking to rent a new home for him and his girlfriend. He reportedly noted that he wanted to live in an area with solid law enforcement presence because it would be a safer place to raise a child. Mitchell allegedly said he was there to buy marijuana from a drug dealer, whom he claimed had stolen his money and ran before handing over the pot. Mitchell claimed he had chased the dealer into the home...Belmont had the most colorful story. She reportedly said that she was looking for apartments with the other two, and that when she looked in the window of the home in question, she saw a black snake. Luckily, she told officers, Mitchell is "a lot like Steve Irwin" and he always tries to catch snakes. Mitchell and Moultrie had gone inside to wrangle the serpent, she claimed.

Keep this in mind next time you read some progressive article claiming women are the better liars, are better at deceptions, or are better at keeping secrets. This broad couldn't think of anything more plausible than that her husband was kindred spirits with Steve Irwin and was inside protecting some strangers house, wrangling all sorts of wild life.

Are you freaking kidding me.  I can picture these two guys now, just shaking their heads (#smh'ing for you lame internet folks) when the cops tell them what their girl just came up with. And this isn't to say the two guys did any better...they were together in the house when the cops came, the absolute least they could've done was get their story straight before coming out, but still, at least their stories were plausible and based in reality. 

Moultrie was just trying to get a practical first hand account of how the crime response was in the neighborhood before he moved his family in, I respect that. You can only learn so much reading crime statistics online, and Mitchell, well he might have just been being honest. I'm fairly certain he was trying to rob a drug dealer back of the drugs they stole from him. That seems like exactly what happened here.