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| It's to the point where I'd be better off moving my desk to the shitter, ala Dwight. |
It's like all the guys in my office's bowel movements have synched up the way women's menstrual cycles do in dorms and when they live together, its just bizarro stuff. We're talking packed, every stall taken, people just leaning on the walls waiting (which I've never understood, there's like 5 bathrooms per floor, but you'll choose to stand there and waft the fresh smell of turd over walking 2 minutes down the hall) for an opening.
And the thing is, it's not like I even have to take a shit most days, I just happen to schedule one of my blogs to post at 11 AM each day, I'm really only there to post it on twitter and make sure everything got up ok. Can't a guy blog and tweet on the shitter at work in peace? Is that too much to ask?
And yes, I could easily just change the schedule, maybe post at 11:30 instead, but then I'd be going to the shitter twice in the span of an hour, because I always go for a quick 12:15 break to the handicap stall to check up on Barstool, and see if anyone tweeted at me to increase my Klout score and check the Facebook feed. So you can see the dilemma from my end. A fixed amount of bathroom trips necessary to run the blog, and a pack of synched up bowels all dumping out and fixed points in time during the day.
PS: Yes, I posted this at 11 AM. I'm a stubborn creature of habit.
