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| My Modern Office |
That’s right, I’ve moved right in, if you’re reading this after clicking a link from my tweet, just know that I tweeted that while in the handicap stall at my work. So, in real time, as you’re reading this, I’m just chilling, sitting on a toilet, reading twitter. Yes, that is what my job has come to.
In order to escape the never endingness of mail-jail, whining client calls, and annoying conversation perpetrated by my obnoxiously loud neighbor, I now take 2-3 trips to my second office a day and chill on twitter. Borderline should change the name of the site from the alt-tab, to “Droid’n From the Corner Handicap Stall.com” Or something, that’s not all that catchy obviously, but I'd work on it.
And here’s the thing, I’m not half ass'ing it in there either (pun not intended but I did realize it after I typed it and decided to go with it). I go through a the entire routine, the whole 9 yards. I get in, wipe the seat, pad the nest, and drop trow. When I’ve killed enough time, I fake wipe. Did you read that?! I fake wipe! That’s how twisted this routine has gotten me, I’m in a handicap stall checking out my latest tweets, faking wiping my ass. It’s ridiculous. But I have to do it. Less I walk out of there with no wiping sounds and people think I’m just trolling the office with skid marks all afternoon.
So yes, this is my life. This is how I survive my soul crushing job. By tweeting and fake wiping my ass from the handicap stall in my office bathroom.
PS: Google Image search handicap bathroom stall...a shocking amount of people take cell phone shots of public bathroom stalls. What's that all about?
