Are you freaking kidding me here? September 6th, day after Labor Day and I roll into work with the first cold of the season (and for any smart asses that claim fall starts Sept 21st, you're wrong. I go by the American Holiday schedule, not some calendar based on charting the moon and Mayan rituals, I'm a bit more advanced than that). I legit rolled into work yesterday, throat so scratchy you'd swear I smoke a pack a day, nose flowing worse than the rivers of Vermont, shoulders and chest all achy. Its the fucking worst. If there was a way to just straight up boycott the fall I'd be the first to sign that petition. The lady at Target last night must've thought I was either dying of some undiagnosed plague or starting my own meth lab with my assortment of check out items; The standard Nyquil/Dayquil combo, Vitamin C drops, Zicam Tablets, and some Berry-Blast Tums, just because they're good to have around. Was it overkill? Nope. Not in the least, its the first cold of the Fall, my signal to hoard various medicines Armageddon style and retreat into my bunker.
Anyone that's followed the Tab from it's inception already knows how I feel about the Tab, but since that is probably like 4 people, it might be worth re-posting my "I Hate the Fall" Manifesto from last year:
Sneaks up on me every year before I know it, summer and it's carefree, easy going dress code is replaced by heavy sweaters, jackets pants, and worst of all, Uggs. And it means winter is right around the corner.
At least winter is honest though, you know what you're going to get. Fall is my least favorite season for many reasons, but mainly because its dishonest. The weather fluctuates from raw and wet to windy and freezing, random sunny warm days that remind you of summer just long enough to get your hopes up before they are dashed away by a freak snow storm. All the inconsistent weather inevitably leads to the first round of office colds that spready like the plague from cube to cube. These never clear up until the spring. Just when you're feeling healthy it creeps around the corner and spreads through your portion of the office again like the wave coming back around at a baseball game.
While some of you are quick to point out the beauty of the fall and the changing of the leaves, I counter that the leaves are just dying and you'll soon enough be raking and dropping the bagged leaves off at the dump. Apple Picking? Sure it was fun when I was a kid, and is probably still enjoyable if you have kids, but I prefer to do my apple picking at the grocery store now. Just made a trip last weekend, took pictures of me picking them out and everything just for nostalgias sake.
Outside of Thanksgiving and football season there are really no redeeming qualitites to this season, and thats why fall sucks.
At least winter is honest though, you know what you're going to get. Fall is my least favorite season for many reasons, but mainly because its dishonest. The weather fluctuates from raw and wet to windy and freezing, random sunny warm days that remind you of summer just long enough to get your hopes up before they are dashed away by a freak snow storm. All the inconsistent weather inevitably leads to the first round of office colds that spready like the plague from cube to cube. These never clear up until the spring. Just when you're feeling healthy it creeps around the corner and spreads through your portion of the office again like the wave coming back around at a baseball game.
While some of you are quick to point out the beauty of the fall and the changing of the leaves, I counter that the leaves are just dying and you'll soon enough be raking and dropping the bagged leaves off at the dump. Apple Picking? Sure it was fun when I was a kid, and is probably still enjoyable if you have kids, but I prefer to do my apple picking at the grocery store now. Just made a trip last weekend, took pictures of me picking them out and everything just for nostalgias sake.
Outside of Thanksgiving and football season there are really no redeeming qualitites to this season, and thats why fall sucks.
