Friday, June 17, 2011

An Open Letter to Vancouver: If You're Going to Act Like Savage Assholes, Just Own It Already.


Seriously, I've never seen a bigger group of flip-flopping ass hats than these Vancouver loons.  Look, you're either a peaceful, love thy-neighbor, granola eating, hippy community, or an angry, anarchist, rioting band of mother fuckers.  You can't be both though.  It happened in '94 when you lost, you had violent Olympic protests, and now its happened again.  Sooner or later you've just got to be honest with yourself.  You're a bunch of barbarians.  I know you like to think you're morally superior to us repugnant Americans, but in reality its just not true. 

I mean one minute you have a bunch of whiny fans complaining about Bruins fans after Boston home games treating Canadians poorly because we taunted and chanted mean things about your players calling us rude assholes, the next you're writing frigen pen-pal letters to the Boston Globe to apologize for all the violent riotings and stabbings and shit.  Quit apologizing to us, we don't give a fuck. Its your city, you guys have to deal with the clean it up.

And quit trying to blame it on a "small minority."  A small minority isn't thousands of people, crazy anarchists, dudes setting fires, dudes running through fires, people getting knocked out, chicks getting finger blasted in the street while being protected by swat police, looting, 100's of arrests, and a dozen or so car fires.  That's not a small minority. To the point where you have to bring in a legit Swat Battalion and impose martial law its safe to say its the majority.  

Finally, quit pretending you didn't see this coming. You have a history of these kinds of events.  You clearly have a size-able and quite serious anarchist population in your midst.  Additionally, you have a Royal Mounted Police Corp that is basically opposed to any show of force beyond sternly worded messages urging everyone to remain calm.  Here's a hint when dealing with crazed skinheads dousing cars in gasoline, you may need to billy-club there ass.  I don't think asking them nicely to put the match down is going to do the trick...call it a hunch.  

So that's it. Sincerely from America, we don't care if that's how you want to go about living your life, but don't come lying to us about how that's  not what you're really like.  You are what you are. Own it and move on, we have.