Thursday, June 30, 2011

Get A Load of this Mother in Law from Hell


The Daily Mail - It can be notoriously difficult to win over the in-laws. But Heidi Withers may have a tougher task than most after her future mother-in-law emailed her a vicious character assassination in which she attacked her for her ‘staggering uncouthness and lack of grace’. Carolyn Bourne, a renowned grower of pinks and dianthus flowers, told Miss Withers, 29 she should attend a finishing school in ‘utmost haste’ to get rid of her ‘bad manners’

Wow, talk about a complete bitch. There's so much going on here, I think its best we just take this bullet point by bullet point (follow along on the left):

1.Don't serve me food that I don't like and I won't "declare" that I won't be eating it. Sorry lady, some people weren't born with a silver spoon up their ass and may find es cargo disgusting.

2. Who are you to tell me when to get up? I thought I was a guest? Am I holding you back from your household chores? Maybe sleeping in would do you some good, get the bitch out of you or something.

3. I'm not gonna lie I didn't read the whole article and don't know what this is referring to, but it sounds like a bit of joking around and poking fun at eachother is exactly what this stiff family needs to get the gigantic stick out of your collective asses.

4. I've spoke my opinion on hand written cards many a time. Waste of time, waste of money. Don't get me wrong, its appreciated when I receive them. But this is the 21st century lady, everything is done online, get your dinosaur ass on the computer or get left behind. Simple as that. 

5. Sorry your droll ass  and muted beige outfits don't attract attention. Some people like standing out in the crowd. Some people are attractive and can't help it. Just because your husbands eyes long for a woman that doesn't look like an absolute bitch doesn't mean its the other girls fault.

6. Actually, most castles make their money off renting out their space for exactly this purpose. No one owns castles anymore. What century are you from exactly?