This near tragedy 100% didn't need to happen. How many times must I rant, and how many time must drunk assholes nearly die in a tragic toilet collapse accidents before the makers of bathroom stalls begin to treat us like normal human beings? We need solid walls, from floor to ceiling, door knobs that exist in other walks of life (none of this latch turning shit), and two ply toilet paper to avoid irritation!
Do we not deserve all the respect and dignity that our peers are accorded, simply because every now and then we need to pinch one off in public? Do we not deserve a clean, splatter free toilet seat to dump in private? Are we any less citizens because of the timing of our bowel movements? No!
The time for change has come. No longer shall you be looked down upon for the gastrous sounds that we emit in public stalls, no longer will you be humiliated as your co-workers identify you by your shoes...No longer shall you be traumatized, locked into the bathroom stall when you couldn't figure out the door, forced to risk life and limb to escape the foul smell you've just left behind.
My folks, we'll march on Washington until every boy and every girl has a bathroom stall complete with solid, full length walls, and doors that make sense. We'll sing and we'll chant until each and every bathroom is stocked with Charmin TP, and we'll publicly shame those who lack complete aim and control and would leave piss all over the seat!
 |
| No longer will we be tormented by bathroom stalls! |
