Thursday, May 5, 2011

Now the Failed Samurai Osama Hunter Has Gone To Far, Claims He's Owed the $27 Million Bounty


DENVER, Colo. -- A samurai sword-wielding American who waged his own personal quest to capture Usama bin Laden demanded Tuesday a share of the official $27 million reward following the terror chief's death.  "I had a major hand and play in this wonderful thing, getting him out of the mountains and down to the valleys ... Someone had to get him out of there. That's where I came in," he said. "I scared the squirrel out of his hole, he popped his head up and he got capped. "I'm proud of our boys, I'm very proud of our government ... They were handed this opportunity on a platter from myself." Faulkner, who was found with a pistol, a samurai sword, night vision goggles and a map when detained by Pakistani authorities last June, said while his quest was not about money, he deserved some compensation. "It wasn't about me. I wanted to bring him to justice. I'm not greedy, but I sold everything I had and I put my life on the line," he said. And Faulkner flatly rejected the suggestion that bin Laden had been living in the high-security compound in Pakistan for years. "He hadn't been living there for no damn six years," Faulkner said. "I absolutely flushed him out."


Well now you’ve gone a bit far bud, I was on your side yesterday, until you started putting in claims for the bounty.  I mean yea you did your part but the bounty clearly says wanted dead or a live.  You didn’t really complete the mission.  Should we be grateful and acknowledge your contributions, absolutely.  Should your plane ticket be refunded, yea I guess so, that would be nice.  Should you receive $27 million? Nope.

And I’m not sure what selling everything you had has anything to do with anything. How much does a pistol, map, samurai sword and night vision goggles cost? Like 5g’s? plus maybe $1500 in travel and lodging expenses?  I’ll assume selling everything in  your life clears that.

You want some cash though, write a book, I’ll 100% buy that.  Shit I’ll give you an advance on the first copy if the Alt-tab has exclusive distribution rights.