LONDON – British divorce lawyers have words of warning for Prince William: Not all fairy tales have happy endings...Britain's royal family has been plagued by a string of failed marriages. Three of Queen Elizabeth II's four children have been divorced, and William's uncle on his mother's side, Charles Spencer, has two ex-wives...One need look no further than the very ugly — and public — split between William's parents, Princess Diana and Prince Charles. The prince's former financial adviser, Geoffrey Bignell, told Britain's Sunday Telegraph newspaper in 2004 that Diana "took him to the cleaners," and claimed that Charles handed over his entire personal fortune — widely reported to be more than 17 million pounds ($27 million today) — when their marriage ended after 15 years in 1996.
You bet your ass she's signing a prenup. And that prenup should read as follows: "You, Kate Middleton get shit under the following conditions:" followed by a highly detailed list of possible transgressions.
I know you don't want to appear crass leading up to your wedding, it should be a beautful time, but the facts are facts and the stats are the stats here. You're British bro. Sooner or later Kate is going to notice this and realize you're boring as shit and genetically pale. She'll probably move on to some interesting foreigner, maybe start dating an Arab sheik. Then you're going to have to take care of the issue, stage some elaborate accident and make it look like a drunk driving accident to help the Royal family save face. That's just a messy road I'm sure you don't want to go down.
