Does Your Office Building Have Security Guards?

Chances are if your office has a station full of security guards there's at least one overly zealous fanatic for their job.  Well I'm here to tell you that my office has the security woman to end all security woman, to the point that everyone just calls her the ID Nazi (no she's not off committing mass genocides in her spare time, it's hyperbole people). 

While other security guards are more attuned to their place in life and the status that comes with their jobs, this woman is at the office every day protecting me and my fellow co-workers from elaborate un-authorized food delivery attacks and prospective job seekers without an appointment.

The thing I love is that she isn't fazed in the least by her co-workers, who'd rather play minesweeper, browse the internet, or watch movies on their Android powered smart phones. They couldn't care less and I don't think anyone blames them.  Meanwhile this woman sits perched up on her stool making sure everyone has a valid ID, less you have to sign in at the desk as a guest...as if signing in on a sheet of paper is going to stop the mad man with a dynamite strapped vest and a couple of handguns in his pockets, I don't think one vigilant lady in a pantsuit and loafers is going to slow him down, even if the overweight and lethargic guys chip in...but I digress.

Her vigilance goes beyond ID's too.  This woman takes every lunch break to walk around our parking lot leaving fake parking tickets on cars without badges or cars that dare park in visitor assigned parking (god forbid the people that actually work here every day get a few spots close to the building).  Never mind the fact that the tickets have no legal standing and you're under no obligation to pay them (furthermore she'd probably be in a heap of trouble if the authorities knew she was out there writing fraudulent tickets).  Doesn't matter to her.  The second she lets her guard down is the second our parking lot would be over run with undesirables and riff-raff parking their Fast and the Furious Rice Rockets in our lot and drinking 40's with their homies...at least that's what I figure she pictures. 

In a way though, I'm jealous.  I'm jealous that she has something she cares so much about.  Sure it's just a step or two up from being a mall cop, but still, at least when she wakes up on a Monday morning the first thing she thinks isn't "how long has it been since I called out?"  She just throws on that pantsuit, snaps on her bow tie, and heads to work, knowing shes going to make my office just a bit safer that day and loving every minute of it....which is more than I can say.