Unless you've been living under a rock the past couple of weeks you've obviously noticed Charlie and Moammar seemingly battling it out for craziest headline of the day. You literally can't peel away from the internet for 30 minutes without another mind blowing quote or story from these two comically gifted lunatics (although one is just snorting coke and banging sluts, the other is murdering his citizens). Like two kindred spirits competing for worlds most demented, they even both insist on traveling with entourages of woman. Gaddafi insisting his traveling circus be protected solely by female body guards (seriously), Charlie auditioning porn stars for his "Porn Family," and then promptly taking his show on tour, through Vegas, the entirety of the west coast, and then to the seas in some sort of Yachting Jaws gang bang festival. Beyond their entourages and actions these guys have been such prolific quote machines lately that it's sometimes hard to distinguish between which one said what.
Which leads us to today's game of who said it? Sheen or Gaddafi. Some quotes have had identifiable names or places removed to make this a bit tougher. Feel free to leave your answers in the comment section, I'll edit the post to include the correct answer around 3 pm this afternoon so be sure to check back to see how you did: (answers now included in bold).
1. The first ones free, the next one goes in your mouth - Charlie Sheen, obviously.
2. “There must be a world revolution which puts an end to all materialistic conditions hindering woman from performing her natural role in life and driving her to carry out man’s duties in order to be equal in rights.” - Gaddafi
3. They give them pills at night, they put hallucinatory pills in their drinks, their milk, their coffee, their Nescafe." - Also Gaddafi, though I'm not positive you can't rule out the fact that he's talking about Sheen
4. "I expressed an opinion, and I have an army marching behind me. - Sheen, tricky one.
5. Remember these are my people ... not yours...we will continue on together... Also Sheen, he's been very militaristic lately.
6. I am a fighter, a revolutionary from tents ... I will die as a martyr at the end - Gaddafi
7. "These men are not pirates. We are the pirates. We are all pirates. We went there to their territorial waters, and they are just protecting the food of their children. -Gaddafi, though it could have just as easily been Sheen discussing his recent yacht outings.
8. I’m dealing with fools and trolls, dealing with soft targets and its just, you know its just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee because I don’t have time for these clowns. Sheen, one could easily confuse this for Gaddafi's rambling speech about wiping out Switzerland.
9. Is this Jerusalem, or Mecca? All of you have jetlag and are physically tired. Many of you are very tired because your biological mind should be asleep right now. Gaddafi, apparently his biological mind is that much stronger than the average humans.
10. "(.....) is the leader of the revolution...am not a president to step down. (....)
is leader of the revolution until the end of time. Gaddafi, I feel this is pretty obvious, but I won't be shocked when Sheen starts calling himself the president of some radical porn-led movement.
11. "I think everybody’s got a black belt and a gun, so I don’t get in anybody’s business." Sheen, discussing his producers, who apparently also double as ninjas?
12. . I should have been walking into sandwiches, massages, and handjobs. Yeah, I said it!” - Obviously Sheen but it was too good to pass up. The guy likes the simple things life, what can he say.
13. To sully or contaminate or radically disrespect this union with a shameful contract is something that I will leave to the amateurs and the Bible grippers. Sheen, but I'm guessing Gaddafi feels the same way about those damned Bible Grippers...Bible Grippers
14. And they're going to fuel the battle cry of my deadly and dangerous and secret and silent soldiers. Because they're all around you. Sheen, at this point I'm not sure who the bigger threat to the public is. Gaddafi seems relatively tame by comparison.
15. Protesters are serving the devil, they want to humiliate you -Gaddafi, there we go, back on track.
16. From tomorrow, families collect your children, leave your homes, all of you who love (....), go out the streets, secure the streets, don't be afraid. - Gaddafi
17. The ringleaders are in their homes or they are abroad, comfortable, and having fun. Gaddafi- I needed a string of Gaddafi's.
18. We work for the Pope, we murder people. We're Vatican assassins...we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks -Sheen, Gaddafi answers to no one, and certainly he isn't some murder for hire bitch for the Pope.
19. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground." -Sheen, just as easily could have been Gaddafi ordering his military jets to attack protestors.
20. "Defeat is not an option. They know what they did was wrong. They are in absolute breach, I did nothing wrong. They have picked a fight with the wrong guy. Defeat is not an option." Sheen, but if Gaddafi's speech writers are worth anything he'll be parroting this real soon.
