Rat Bites Inmates Dick

 GARDEN CITY, N.Y. — A man who claims a rodent bit him on the penis while he was being held in a New York jail can proceed with a federal civil rights lawsuit claiming county officials should have had better pest control, a judge has ruled. Peter Solomon claims in his lawsuit against Nassau County that a rodent came out of a hole in his mattress and bit him while he was jailed in February 2007 on a charge of menacing his wife. He's a Vietnam veteran who says he was already suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome.

I'm torn here (presumably much like this guys scrotum), on the one hand I hope most convicted felons get everything that's coming to them. On the other hand, being a guy, the idea of a rat mistaking your dickhead for a block of cheese seems like the kind of horrifying punishment that should be reserved for killers and prisoners at Gitmo. 

I think I'm going to side with the inmate here.  Prison is probably tough enough, worrying about being shanked by the Latin Kings, anally raped by the brotherhood, or orally raped by the Aryans, that's a hard enough maze of abuse to navigate.  No need to add man-eating rodents to the mix. I doubt even Andy Dufresne would have been able to survive that being thrown into the mix. Seems to be the definition of constitutionally cruel and unusual punishment.