Maestro's Sports Betting Cafe: NFL Teaser Picks of the Week

Unfortunately “CW” does not stand for “Consistently Winning” so your leader comes to The Maestro to provide him with gambling advice. You may say “Hey Maestro, thanks a lot for waiting till the end of the season to share your picks with us!” but it just took that long to hammer out my contract. What, do you think I’m giving all this advice to you leeches for free? Please. It’s a shame that you’re catching me at the tail end of a very profitable season and 4-1 opening playoff weekend. Unfortunately, I’m not feeling as strongly about this weekend’s games, but I’ve got no doubt I can produce some winners for the loyal readers of The Alt Tab:

The Maestros Picks of the Week Inside.

New York Jets @ New England Patriots (-9), O/U 45: I love unders. I’m not The Guy Who Only Bets Unders, but I’m an acquaintance of his. My pick for this game basically comes down to this: Are you familiar with Mark Sanchez? He’s not good. Are you familiar with the Colts Defense? Yeah, they’re not good either, and the Jets only scored 17 on them last week. I’m thinking The Hooded One may have cooked a couple schemes up over the bye week that will confuse the beach boy. What about LT? Yeah I know he’s a “very classy person” but he also doesn’t show up if the weather dips into the 30s. Non-factor. I’m thinking this game ends something like 24-13, which is a comfortable under for us…sorry, Octocrom Pick: Under 45

Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers (-3), O/U 37: I know what you’re thinking, “Hey Maestro, the last 7 games between these teams have been decided by 3, 3, 3, 3, 9, 4, and 3…what are you doing taking a side here?”. Well, I don’t have a good answer for that but there are a few things that I know. I know the Chefs made the Ravens look a little better than they are last week and that’s fresh in everyone’s mind. I know the Steelers are coming off a bye, which is always a plus heading into a bloodbath, plus it gave Aaron Smith an extra week to get healthy. Lastly, I know this guy has won 7 straight against the Ravens. Mike Wallace has a big day against the otherwise-occupied Ed Reed and the Steelers come to Foxboro next week. Pick: Steelers -3

Your “How could this lose??” Teaser of the Week: People are always asking me on Twitter (@Mazz33), “Hey Maestro, what do you think of this parlay?” or they say things like “I only need the Pats to cover to hit the 4^th leg of my 6-teamer, then I can start hedging”. I always respond that parlays are bad news. I opt for a much more wiser investment, and that’s the teaser. You can go with your basic 6 or 7 point teaser, but this weekend we’re eyeing the gorgeous 10 point tease. My site carries 10 point teases with (-120) juice, so it pays about as much as a normal wager (-110).

The Divisional Weekend teaser I have for you is actually a 2-parter. The first part is to tease the Bears down to a pick ‘em, the Pats to +1, and then this is where it gets tricky (or good, depending on how you look at it). In the first bet, you’re going to want to bet OVER 35.5 in the Falcons/Packers game…and in the second bet, you bet UNDER 55.5 in that ATL/GB game. This way, all the Pats and Bears have to do is win outright, and you’ve got a 20 point window (35.5-55.5) to hit both bets. Worst case, if the Pats and Bears win outright (again, they’re heavy favorites), you juice out if the GB/ATL game lands outside that window. To review:

Bet #1: Bears, Pats, GB/ATL Over 35.5
AND, for the same amount
Bet #2: Bears, Pats, GB/ATL Under 55.5

This can’t lose, right? Right??