CW's annual office Christmas Party Holiday Party (sorry have to keep it corporate...shit is "Holiday" allowed? Will that offend Jehovahs that don't celebrate anything? Lets just replace Holiday with "Winter" and Party with "Event", that should cover it) Winter Event!
Basically the only positive to working in a gigantic corporate office is that events like this have to be held at big restaurants or hotels in order to accomodate everyone, rather than the standard decorate the office and mingle party. I look forward to it every year, and despite the fun and seemingly care free atmosphere there are some traps you need to avoid to survive the Holiday Party.
1. Don't be the guy above. Every year I see some rookie make the same mistake as he presumably did. "Oh there's free drink tickets until 10 pm? Double Fisting Time!" No dude, this isn't college and we're not at your Frats Christmas themed party. I like the sauce as much as the next guy but getting as much liquor as you can into your system during the open bar period is a horrible rookie mistake. We literally have one manager who just walks around during the night looking for jackasses that have had too much. No one is really sure what happens to the few unlucky souls he finds each year, but they're never seen again and their cubes are always packed up and emptied before we get to work the next day. Don't be that guy. Have a couple, and save the partying for the after party down the road.
2. There's liquor, music, members of the opposite sex, and usually some dancing. You will be lulled into thinking this is your regular Friday or Saturday night pick up seen. This is a mistake. Though your dance partner may have been throwing you all the signs you usually look for, you must resist. First off, everyone else is watching and judging. The older folks will be jealous of your youthful flirting and that jealousy will affect you in the office. Secondly, God forbid you hit on the wrong person that some middle aged-middle manager who still lives with his mother has had a crush on but is too much of panzy to do anything about it. You might as well kiss any chance for promotion goodbye. And finally, mainly for the guys, watch out for the sexual harassment claim. This is still a work event, work rules apply. Doesn't matter if the liquor has her loosened up, you don't want to come into work tomorrow at 9 AM with a message from HR asking to see you.
3. If you're feeling the affects of that third Long Island Iced Tea, stay away from the big wigs. You'll be tempted to schmooze and rub elbows with the higher-ups, its one of the few chances a year you have to mingle with the decision makers. Do you really want their lasting memory of you to be the guy who rambled on in slurring tones about your great ideas to improve the company (most of which probably involve ideas that will allow you to be lazier)?
4. Less of a rule, more of a guideline, try not to show up obviously hungover the next morning. Everyone's going to be a bit slower moving the next day, its a given, but you don't want to be the guy/gal just sitting at their desk, head propped up by their arm just staring blankly ahead because motion makes you feel sick (yes I'm speaking from personal experience). It makes you look irresponsible, and even worse it makes you look like a light-weight. You cannot be labeled a light weight and expect to go on client trips. 75% of a client trip is dining and drinking (20% ass kissing and 5% actual work meetings in case you were wondering). If management knows that you look like a homeless vagabond the morning after they're never going to send you anywhere. That said:
5. DO NOT CALL OUT SICK. I can't stress that enough. Like I said #4 is more of a guideline, not a hard fast rule. This is the golden rule. You call out sick you might as well start sending out resumes, because if you're not let go then you at the very least guarantee that you're not looking at a raise or promotion for the next 5 years.
