Friday, December 21, 2012
Who Knew the Mayans Would be Wrong? Ohhh Right, Sane People.
You mean to tell me a civilization that all but went extinct hundreds of years ago wasn't able to accurately predict the end of the world? That's weird.
On a more serious note, how dumb to the people who shelled out for these super bunkers have to feel? Would it kill CNN or Fox to get a news crew out to one of these things to catch a first glimpse of all these "survivalists" turtleheading out of their bunkers and seeing that all their years of preparation and money they forked over was for nothing. The look on their faces will be priceless.
This is the closest I was able to find by googling "Coming out of doomsday bunker"
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
My Favorite Commercial of the Year: "Just 99 Cents Any Size"
Gets me every time. When that giant man-garoo zips his little Joey back up, I lose it.
PS: This is the exact reason I won't drink gas station coffee. 99 Cents or not. Just a string of freakshows coming in and handling that shit all day long. I mean Frankenstein and Igor over here were probably just the most photogenic people of the day to grab a Cumby's coffee and that's how they were selected...imagine the other cretins.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Brookline Cops Will Address Gangster Turkeys
That's a real graph folks, I didn't even make it up. |
Jesus, I mean, people of Dorchester are probably just counting their lucky stars every day they don't run into one of these mean mugging dinner fowls, huh? The worst they have to deal with is guns and murderers and shit...
Can I ask a question, just how soft are you, Brookline? I mean really? We're talking about turkeys here...to quote Urban Dictionary, to refer to someone as a turkey is to imply that: the person is a loser, uncoordinated, inept, and clumsy; a tool.
Is that what you guys are afraid of? Like you Karen, apparently a 6'5 woman just strolling the streets of Brookline, I'd think you can take care of yourself...just kick the damn things, PETA be damned. The minute these things cross the line from something that would look good on my dinner table, to an Alfred Hitchcock scenario, you're allowed to fight back. One or two punts to the breast bone and I think they'll get the message.
PS: The thought of the police "addressing troublesome turkeys" just makes me thing of scared straight...like the cops are gonna round up all these badass Turks, get in their face, and then show them a slide show of this:
Cracks me up.
Posted by
CW
at
9:38 AM
Brookline Cops Will Address Gangster Turkeys
2012-12-07T09:38:00-05:00
CW
Aggressive Turkeys|Apparently Brookline is the softest town in america|Brookline|shoot to kill|Turkeys Scared STraight|
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Labels:
Aggressive Turkeys,
Apparently Brookline is the softest town in america,
Brookline,
shoot to kill,
Turkeys Scared STraight
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Guys, John Travolta Couldn't Possibly By Gay
I mean look at that, he's line dancing with Olivia Newton John guys...It's just ridiculous that anyone would think he'd do those things to all those masseuses and bus boys, just utterly ridiculous.
Two Additional Things:
1. Bro, you're bald. You've been thinning since the 70's, we all know you're bald by now. Dancing around with a chia pet slapped on your head does nothing to change that.
2. Don't both of you guys have like, lots of money? No offense, but this looks more like a high school A/V project than two Hollywood stars filming a music video from their album. What was the production budget for this thing? Three iPhone 5's and an old Macbook for editing? Clean it up guys.
Posted by
CW
at
9:39 AM
Guys, John Travolta Couldn't Possibly By Gay
2012-12-06T09:39:00-05:00
CW
but you're wrong.|john travolta olivia newton john|Now no one will think John Travolta is Gay|you think i might like it|
Comments
Labels:
but you're wrong.,
john travolta olivia newton john,
Now no one will think John Travolta is Gay,
you think i might like it
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Makes Absolutely Zero Sense
Looks right side up to me. |
I mean that's not upside down, no way around it. Yes, it was explained to me that it's baked upside down, but you know what, I'm the guy eating it, when it's presented to me, it's right side up. I've never cared to ask what steps the chef was taking with my food before it gets to me previously, and I don't care now. All I care is that it tastes good, and it's labeled appropriately.
And with that in mind, from this day forth, the pastry formerly known as pineapple upside-down cake, is just going to be known as pineapple cake. Now go forth and let the name ring from the mountainside.
Posted by
CW
at
9:39 AM
Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Makes Absolutely Zero Sense
2012-12-05T09:39:00-05:00
CW
looks right side up to me. Am i the only one who's not full of shit here|pineapple upside-down cake|
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looks right side up to me. Am i the only one who's not full of shit here,
pineapple upside-down cake
Friday, November 30, 2012
Is It Time for Boston's Mayor Menino to Rule Like that Leper King-Guy in Braveheart?
Boston News, Weather, Sports | FOX 25 | MyFoxBoston
BOSTON (FOX 25 /MyFoxBoston.com) – Boston Mayor Thomas Menino made an appearance at the Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital on Thursday to show off get well cards that he received while hospitalized. IMAGES: Menino makes first appearance after hospital stay Mayor Menino was transferred to a rehabilitation hospital on Monday after spending a month at Brigham and Women's Hospital recovering from an infection and a compression fracture in his back.
Yes, Yes it is.
Sorry Mayor, I know you're going through some stuff, but no one wants to see that. I mean that's tough to look at, ya know? Doesn't mean you have to give up the dictatorship of Boston that you've assumed in the last decade though, just means you need a son or some other puppet rule to come down from your isolated tower and make decisions for you. Worked just fine for the Leper guy for the majority of the movie...and that was a long film. I'd have to imagine you could keep that act up until at least your next election season. At that point you're hopefully looking more like your normal self, which, I never though I'd say this, would be better for everyone. Until then, rule on Leper King.
PS: This guy's credit in the movie is just "Leper." Just non-descript Leper...He was the king of feudal Scotland as far as I can remember and they title his part just Leper? No respect at all.
BOSTON (FOX 25 /MyFoxBoston.com) – Boston Mayor Thomas Menino made an appearance at the Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital on Thursday to show off get well cards that he received while hospitalized. IMAGES: Menino makes first appearance after hospital stay Mayor Menino was transferred to a rehabilitation hospital on Monday after spending a month at Brigham and Women's Hospital recovering from an infection and a compression fracture in his back.
Yes, Yes it is.
Sorry Mayor, I know you're going through some stuff, but no one wants to see that. I mean that's tough to look at, ya know? Doesn't mean you have to give up the dictatorship of Boston that you've assumed in the last decade though, just means you need a son or some other puppet rule to come down from your isolated tower and make decisions for you. Worked just fine for the Leper guy for the majority of the movie...and that was a long film. I'd have to imagine you could keep that act up until at least your next election season. At that point you're hopefully looking more like your normal self, which, I never though I'd say this, would be better for everyone. Until then, rule on Leper King.
PS: This guy's credit in the movie is just "Leper." Just non-descript Leper...He was the king of feudal Scotland as far as I can remember and they title his part just Leper? No respect at all.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
China Man's House is Right Smack Dab In the Middle of the Highway
Business Insider - When the government decided to build a highway to Wenling, a town in China's Zhejiang province, it offered everyone in the neighborhood compensation to relocate. But farmer Luo Baogen and his wife refused to move, saying the compensation wasn't enough for them to rebuild their home elsewhere. Faced with Luo's refusal to leave, the government decided to go ahead and build the road around it anyway. Reuters reports that this phenomenon – when one building remains, after those around it have been demolished – is called a 'nail house'.
-Desirable, classical Cantonese style 4 floor house in Urban Setting. 5 Bedrooms, two Garages, easy access to major highways, tons of natural light and headlights...Watch your electricity bill cut in half! Open house this Saturday. Directions: Drive down highway, park car.
Bro-your house is in the middle of the fucking highway! Move. Like I get making a stand but don't you think this is a little ridiculous? Isn't this the same China that has traffic jams that last for up to 9 days! You tell your wife you're going out for a carton of cigarettes she's going to think you left her, even though you're probably just in bumper to bumper 500 yards down the road.
And on a side note, am I the only one that kind of assumed that, in the Land of China, when the government decided it wanted to do something, it kinda just did it. Like couldn't they have just knocked this house over whether or not Luo over here agreed or not? What is this a warmer, fuzzier China? Certainly not the Red Devil I remember.
Posted by
CW
at
9:37 AM
China Man's House is Right Smack Dab In the Middle of the Highway
2012-11-28T09:37:00-05:00
CW
getting out of the driveway must be a bitch|house in the middle of the highway|In the land of China|open house|
Comments
Labels:
getting out of the driveway must be a bitch,
house in the middle of the highway,
In the land of China,
open house
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
So This Was Going On In My Neighborhood Last Night
I specifically like the part where Everett Police asked for anyone with any information to call them...hey guys, how about you call me? What the fuck!?
I'm sitting here last night with a helicopter circling for hours with his spotlight raining down, and the only reason I had a clue what was going on? Twitter. That's right, a few people who listen to police scans and broadcast their listenings on Twitter were the only thing that kept me from going outside to see what was going on while a murder/attempted murder suspect may or may not have been hiding in my hedges.
This went on for a couple of hours, no reverse 911 call to residents, no breaking news on the local channels as it apparently missed the news cycle...I'd have even taken one of those terrifying severe weather alert things that get pushed to your cell phones, but you know, instead of warning me about tornado's and hail, maybe just something like, "Don't Go Outside a Gunman is Hunkered Down in Your Shrubs."
But no. I got nothing. I sat here and received minimal updates from Twitter and downloaded 3 different police scanner apps to try and figure out what was going on. And it's not like this morning's report is showering praise on the Everett police for finding this kid, kinda vague and sounds like they didn't find him, which, you know, wouldn't be a bad thing to warn residents that an armed and dangerous gunman is in the area.
Frigen Everett. And Steve Wynn wants to build a casino here? Hope they take him for a tour of the crime scene literally a half a mile from the proposed site on Wednesday.
Posted by
CW
at
9:37 AM
So This Was Going On In My Neighborhood Last Night
2012-11-27T09:37:00-05:00
CW
Everett|Gunman|how about a little warning for the neighbors. Steve Wynn would be better off staying home|massachusetts|Police Search|
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Labels:
Everett,
Gunman,
how about a little warning for the neighbors. Steve Wynn would be better off staying home,
massachusetts,
Police Search
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
This Road Rage Video is So Good that I have Nothing to Add
Just pure unadulterated fun. And for the record, I've been both the cutter and the blocker several times before, and I can tell you for a fact that I'm in the right no matter which side I'm on. I fully support both of these assholes.
Posted by
CW
at
9:28 AM
This Road Rage Video is So Good that I have Nothing to Add
2012-11-21T09:28:00-05:00
CW
Best Road Rage Ever|road rage|Windows Open|
Comments
Labels:
Best Road Rage Ever,
road rage,
Windows Open
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