China Forces Prisoners to Play World of Warcraft

Fox News - A former prisoner of a Chinese labor camp claims guards are forcing detainees to play online games as part of a huge money-making scam. Liu Dali told The Guardian website that guards traded the credits inmates built up playing games such as World of Warcraft for money.  "Prison bosses made more money forcing inmates to play games than they do forcing people to do manual labor," he said. "There were 300 prisoners forced to play games. We worked 12-hour shifts in the camp. I heard them say they could earn 5000-6000rmb a day. "We didn't see any of the money. The computers were never turned off."  He said he would spend his days either breaking rocks or assembling car seat covers and his nights playing computer games. Dali said that if he didn't complete his credit quota, the guards would punish him: "They would beat me with plastic pipes. We kept playing until we could barely see things." The building up and trading of game credits is known as gold farming. Millions of gamers around the world pay real money for the credits in order to save hours of playing time. Gold farming is rampant in China and other developing nations. Many Chinese gamers have full-time jobs as gold farmers but The Guardian story highlights the first time it has been practiced in labor camps. 

Am I the only one that thinks this is awesome? I mean aside from 1000's of nerdy teenagers who are rushing over to China to commit felonies right now?

The prisoner complaining about not seeing any of the money has a lot of nerve huh? Hey buddy, you're a convict, of course you're not getting paid to play video games. I've never played World of Warcraft before in my life (because I'm not a loser) but even I know crushing teenage nerds and trash talking online is a better way to serve time than toiling splitting rocks for absolutely no purpose.  And it definitely beats the American alternative of anal rape...

China may be on to something here.  I have to believe our judicial system's the costly appeals process would see a lot less traffic if everyone knew they were just going to prison to tool around on the computer for 16 hours a day.  That's what con's call "easy time."   Hell it almost sounds like vacation to me.  I'd rather be in Chinese prison than my cube pouring over excel sheets stressed as fuck any day of the week.

UPDATE: Now With Video. My contention still stands, playing video games, even under duress, seems like easy time. Thanks to Newsy for the video.

pp

Multisource political news, world news, and entertainment news analysis by Newsy.com

 

Dr Jack: Zack Morris Attorney at Law?

There are few things my generation can all agree on. I’m sure that can be said about most generations, but I feel like now a days everyone loves to play the devil’s advocate and there are only a select amount of universally loved things. I do think it’s safe to say the protagonist of the teen sitcom “Saved by the Bell” is one of them though. Zack Morris is an icon and it’s been both a blessing and a curse for the actor who portrayed him, Mark-Paul Gosselaar.

The sad fact is this, MPG is Zack Morris. Just like Mark Hamill is Luke Skywalker and Jaleel White is Steve Urkel. This happens all the time. James Van Der Beek is so deeply associated with Dawson Leary that in the upcoming ABC pilot “Apartment 23” he’s playing James Van Der Beek! It’s difficult to sympathize with these guys when they’ve undoubtedly seen large profits from their past success. However, it’s also easy to relate to someone not being able to advance in their career because they’re always viewed as set in one role.

After “Saved by the Bell” MPG dyed his hair brown and sought out dramatic roles to help further distance himself from his teen idol past. He played a detective on the last few seasons of “NYPD Blue” and grew his hair long for two seasons of the TNT drama “Raising the Bar” to look even less like Zack Morris. He made other television and film appearances, but the only dramatic role I enjoyed was in the made-for-tv movie “Dying to Belong” with Hilary Swank. Swank’s roommate was killed in a sorority pledging accident or something, and MPG played the love interest (his character’s name was Steven Tyler, ugh). One exception to his dramatic roles was the underrated “Dead Man on Campus”. Say what you will, but I enjoyed this movie a lot and while it wasn’t exactly watching Zack Morris Goes To College (or an R-Rated “Saved by the Bell: The College Years) it was damn close. MPG thrived in the role and displayed the gift he has of turning the constant schemer into someone exceedingly likeable and charming.

Now it appears things have changed for MPG. Maybe it’s the acceptance of his role in pop culture, maybe he realizes shows with comedic tones are more up his alley, or hell, maybe he just needs the money. Whatever it is, it seems like we’re about to be given a glimpse of what Zack Morris grew up to be.

MPG plays lawyer Steven Bash in the upcoming “Franklin and Bash” on TNT. Now just by judging the trailers and what it says on TNT.com, Bash and partner Jared Franklin are two unorthodox ambulance chasers that catch the eye of the head of a big firm. The two are tapped to enlist in the corporate ranks and then hijinks ensue. One thing I was very happy to read is the romantic storyline will focus on Franklin, leaving Bash to be going after different chicks every week. As happy as I was when Zack and Kelly danced outside the prom, I always enjoyed single Zack more. And really, was there any doubt at all that Zack Morris was going to grow up to be a lawyer someday?

I don’t know if “Franklin and Bash” is going to make it. I’ve never watched a TNT series so frankly (haha!) I don’t have high hopes. But I can say I always root for MPG. He gave me as much enjoyment in my childhood as any character from TV, movies or books. He might not be the best actor in the world but there’s still enough talent there where MPG should be a part of our lives. Next Wednesday at 9pm, I’m going to be very happy to welcome MPG/Zack Morris/Steven Bash back into mine and I don’t think I’ll be alone.

And if there’s a part where he looks at the camera and says, “Timeout” I’m going to lose it.

-Dr. Jack

Boston is the Safest City for Pedestrian Walkers? What?

Navigating the streets with these double length bus/trolley transvestite combos isn't safe by anyone's standards

Boston Globe - America's safest city for pedestrians? Boston? Tell that to anyone who has ever hopped from island to island at Kenmore, forded four lanes of traffic and two lanes of trolleys on Huntington Avenue, or slammed on the brakes to avoid the legions crossing against the light.  And yet, the Hub came out best today on a ranking from a national advocacy coalition. Among the 52 metropolitan areas with at least 1 million residents, Florida claimed four of the five worst spots in the "Dangerous by Design 2011" report from Transportation for America, which advocates for more transportation spending, emphasizing walking, biking, and mass transit. The Sun Belt proved most dangerous, reflecting the hazards of setting out on foot in sprawling cities built up in an era when planners focused on making roads wider and faster for cars -- and where drivers are less accustomed to pedestrians. "Everybody calls Boston America's most European city, and so it's no coincidence that we've got a relatively low fatality rate," said Furth, who is not affiliated with the report. "In German cities, Dutch cities, Swedish cities, the pedestrian fatality rates are still three times less than ours, so we still have lessons to learn."

Listen, I love Boston as much as the next guy, but in all fairness here, I think Florida is just getting a bad rap.  I mean you can’t tell me that a state with some of the top universities in the world doesn’t have an inherent advantage over a state where Dade Community college is considered one of the better higher learning institutions. 

If you’re from florida and having a hard time following me here, I’m saying you’re just a bit dumber than the rest of us up here. It’s not you fault, you’re a product of your education system, but facts are facts.  I mean we have above ground trains, the silver line, double length busses, illegal immigrants, a city where people actually work (sorry there Disney world doesn’t count) with people commuting in and out by car all day long.  It’s not safer, we just remember things like, look both ways, and if the light is green there’s probably a car coming.  And the whole having jobs thing doesn’t hurt, not as many people looking for a quick cash infusion via personal injury law suits.

PS: I've never heard anyone call Boston "America's most European city." That's not a thing, you just made that up. 

Even the Drunk Parrots in Australia have more Rights than Fun Loving Americans

Metro UK - The birds are thought to get into their inebriated state by eating a particular plant that makes them exhibit all the tendencies of having overdone it on the sauce.  According to Ark Animal Hospital vet Dr Stephen Cutter, the birds act in a drunken manner and then fall over: ‘It's probably a plant with alcohol, or toxins in a plant making it worse’. The birds typically start out by making a lot of racket on a Friday night at the Palmerston Markets, followed by more loud drunken behaviour before they eventually fall over. The morning after is said to be very bad for the seriously hungover parrots, who can be sick for up to three days.

 I think this pretty clearly illustrates the difference between us and Australians.  Australians are content to laugh and drink along side the birds, and all in all are down for a good time.  Americans would criticize, impose bird age and substance limits and all in all look to ban the bird population from making their own decisions and having a good time.  Pretty glaring difference.

On the other hand, we'd also be on the hunt to find out what the fuck it is these Wine-o birds are eating and bottle that shit up for college kids consumption.  Sounds like a potential gold mine, until the inevitable college kid passes out while trying to fornicate a drunk pigeon he lured into his dorm with his Tropic Juice (TM pending) and the resulting pictures go viral on Facebook.

By the way, the actual headline for this article: "Drunk Parrots Acting Up and Falling Out of the Sky in Australia (Again)." 

How to Write an Epic Cover Letter...This Guy Definitely Got the Job

Here's a free tip to college seniors looking for a job from a hiring middle manager sifting through countless boring and redundant cover letters and resumes....I'd much rather see an original, creative, funny as shit cover letter like this, than one more touting your involvement int eh student tutor center, president of some made up club with like 3 people in it, or some whole paragraph dedicated to your senior business project.  

Sorry, I know you have to put that shit on there, it's not like you have any real world relevant experience, but you're all the same. Really, you are.  

I get it, you went to college, you took part in classes, and in senior year you figured you should get invovled in some clubs because it would look good on your resume.  Guess what, I don't give a shit.  This isn't your college application, your extra curriculars don't mean anything to me.  You could have slept and drank your way through your free time or read to the blind and walked little old ladies across the street, doesn't make a difference to me.  

And for the love of God, do not refer back to your resume during the interview with me. I hate that.  I've read the thing, you've made it to the interview, that's as far as that piece of paper is going to take you.  From here on out its up you you, your charm, and your ability to speak like an adult.  No amount of embellished accomplishments, or big fancily worded action words that you found while googling "how to write a resume" , or fake references are going to help you now....that is unless you've put together an A+ hysterical cover letter like my man above. He'd be hired.  

What I'm saying is, yes, bullshit your way through your resume, it'll get you in the door, but once you're in the door, it's on you.  That resume isn't worth the piece of paper you printed it on at that point.  Be real, answer a few questions in a straight forward manner, and prove to me that you're not still a child. That's all I'm looking for.

Couple Floods House After Assault Rifle Target Practice in the Bedroom Punctures the Washing Machine

Standard AR-15 Assault Rifle, Common Household Gun

Officials are investigating a weekend incident during which a man indicated his wife fired an AR-15 rifle at a target inside a master bedroom closet, missing the target and blasting holes in a washing machine. When deputies on Sunday entered the home in the 5700 block of Spanish River Road, they found "a lot of water on the floor covering most of the residence," according to recently released St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office records.  They had a "good evening," but started arguing on Sunday about reconciling. She said she told her husband she didn't want to get back together because she has a new boyfriend. She said her husband "went crazy" and started shooting indoors. She said he was firing close to her and thought he was trying to scare her. She said blood on her legs came from "the bullets hitting the washing machine and the metal shards hitting her." The woman, however, said she also was shooting with her husband. Asked to write a sworn statement, she said, "I'll try my best but I'm drunk."  "Both parties were advised to stay away from each other," the report states. It wasn't immediately clear what the husband was grilling.

You have to wonder why these two crazy kids can't just work this out.  I mean they obviously share common interests, such as setting up targets in the master bedroom closet and firing military grade machine guns into it, and grilling food, and I'm sure there are others.  I mean if that's not love, then what else is it?  And as the song says, "all you need is love." 

So what if hubby missed and the errant bullet sprayed a little shrapnel from the washing machine into your leg.  Stitches can fix that.  But there aren't any stitches that I know of that will fill the hole in your heart after your one shot at true love walks out that door in handcuffs for felony firing an assault rifle inside a domicile after you've reported him.  That tends to be a deal breaker.

PS: I was wondering what he was grilling, seems like shoddy reporting not to have that info.

Hardcore Xbox Trash Talking Caught on Video (Bonus, liberal use of the N-word!)

DAMN! Xbox is hard as fuck!.  My unit got the 3 red lights of death like 3 years ago, never felt compelled to get it fixed, until just now.

Shit has apparently gotten real serious since  I left the Xbox community.  First of all, I didn't even know you could send voice mails, never mind thought out the possibilities rants and trash talking laden with racial profanities that you could send smug gamer nerds.  I would have been all about that.  

Half the reason I haven't bothered to get the Xbox fixed is because of those nerds, CW couldn't even play a simple session of Halo with out getting his ass blown up every 3.5 seconds, that wasn't fun.  Just once I would have liked to enter a session with people like me, normal folk who have other priorities than getting their gamer rank up.  

If I'd known I could have gone around offending people throwing out "good games" and leaving hardcore profanity laced voicemails I would have been much more on board.

Michigan Teen Got Raptured Like You Read About

MLive - They jumped off the bridge into the Kalamazoo River to celebrate that the world did not end. But that spontaneous celebration resulted in the apparent drowning of a 18-year-old Kalamazoo youth. Two hours later, Jordan Skinner-Knapp was standing in the parking lot of Comstock's Merrill Park. Still wet, he was thinking about his friend, Anthony Alexander Johnson, who was swept away in the river's current. Jordan, 15, said he and a group of five friends went to Merrill Park on Saturday, the day the world was suppose to end according to a highly publicized prediction by evangelist Harold Camping. Jordan said they told Johnson to not go into the water because he said he couldn't swim well.

You just got Raptured.

Looks like the rapture didn’t sneak by so quietly after all…Like hey kids, you may want to give it a few minutes, maybe your clocks and watches weren’t completely synched up to Rapture time? Or maybe shit was going down in some other time zone you weren’t aware of.  All I’m saying is I didn’t really breathe easy until about 9:05 Eastern time, when I knew it was clear cut that the continental United States had all made it past the 6pm rapture deadline.  Once it was beyond the coast of CA I couldn’t have cared less what happened, sorry Alaska and Hawaii(but lets be honest, you guys really do your own thing 95% of the time anyway, only come back to be part of the union once every 4 years to vote). 

By the way, just cuz the rapture passed doesn’t mean you’re all of a sudden invincible.  If you couldn’t swim 10 minutes ago, you still can’t, especially not in a freezing cold river. Of course common sense seems to escape most delusional doomsday believers.

The Asian News Communit Really Captured the Spirit of the Rapture (video)

Credit the Asian cartoon news community, this is legit the best explanation of what was to be the Rapture yet. Not gonna lie, even with all that was reported on it the past few weeks, I wasn't quite sure what we were supposed to expect, gonna be honest, I would have been a bit more on board if I'd seen this ahead of time.  

Ghosts just high fiving people, skeletons riding horses and decapitating the heathens, and alians ripping bong hits of Earth, the whole thing seems pretty bad-ass if you ask me, kinda disappointed we missed it now.

Though, I do have to wonder about Asian morals, I mean was that Hitler in heaven standing along side MJ at the 50 second mark (pictured below)?  That seems odd, no?