Oklahoma Teens Lighting Each Other on Fire for Fun...Apparently this Worries Parents and Teachers

DEL CITY, Oklahoma -- Oklahoma teens are taking part in a disturbing trend… they are setting themselves and their friends on fire. Dozens of YouTube videos document the fad. Teens are spraying their skin with highly flammable body spray, then lighting it on fire. Some use the spray to make fireballs and throw it at each other. A source tells News 9, a Shawnee 8th grader tried the trick with disastrous results. The girl received third degree burns and has been out of school for several weeks. Teachers and school counselors are aware kids are trying this at home.   This trend is not just happening in Shawnee. A group of teens in Del City, say they have tried it before. Nat Palmer did it out of curiosity, " What can you say, we're just kids." "Unfortunately, most teenagers think they are bulletproof," said Dr. Herbert Meites, of the Integris Paul Silverstein Burn Center.

Uh, no Dr. Meites, they don't think they're bullet proof, they think they're fire retardant.  Try and keep up.  And for that matter, it kind of sounds like they are.  I mean no one has died a horrible death yet, right?  Sure there's that one girl who's never going to looks the same, but other than that no issues, right?

It's not like they're chugging 4Loko and dying or anything, it's just fire, everyone relax.  People have been playing with fire for eons and eons, ever since Cave-teenagers figured out that rubbing two sticks together and then flinging the resulting flames at each other was a wicked fun time (end result, Laser Tag, thank you cave teenagers, thank you.).

Plus, like the dude said, just kids being kids.  Sometimes you just have to learn by doing.  There's only so often you can tell your kid that fire is hot before you have to just let him light his pantleg on fire and figure it out on his own. 

Financial Information for Massachusetts Unemployed Hacked...What a Waste of Hackers Time

Boston Globe - The personal financial information of up to 210,000 unemployed Massachusetts residents may have been stolen in a data breach caused by a virus discovered in state labor department computers four weeks ago, officials said yesterday. Names, addresses, and Social Security numbers, among other data, may have been taken, said John Glennon, chief information officer for the Massachusetts Executive Office of Labor and Workforce Development. The number of affected recipients is probably a small fraction of the total number of potential victims, according to Glennon. The virus attempted to transmit confidential information to digital thieves, he added, but it was not clear how much, or even whether, any data was successfully stolen.

Not to be crass here, but I don’t think the hysteria is necessary.  I mean these are people on the unemployment list, right? What is someone going to do with their social security number? Get denied for a bank loan? Hack their emptied account? 

If ever there was a time for your shit to get hacked, when you're on unemployment is it. Plus if you’re newly unemployed this is your chance to strike it rich.  Get down to some ATM  you’ve never used before (drive out of state, we know you’ve got nothing else to do, you’ve got no job) and withdraw everything you’ve got.  Go home, claim fraud and you’re set.  You’ve just doubled your net assets without breaking a sweat.

Walmart Blames Falling Profits on Rising Gas Prices...Which Makes No Sense at All

Could be the gas prices, could also be the beached whales napping in your stores.

WSJ - Wal-Mart Stores Inc. Chief Executive Mike Duke reaffirmed the company's commitment to get U.S. sales back on track, but said customers are increasingly finding it hard to spend. There is "more pressure today than a year ago" on Wal-Mart's core customers, Mr. Duke said at an executive breakfast sponsored by The Wall Street Journal. (News Corp. owns The Wall Street Journal.) Customers continue to do heavy shopping at the beginning of the month when paychecks come in, but buying tapers off after that, showing they are already struggling. Consumers are now further pressured by rising fuel costs.

Yea, keep dreaming guys.  Dwindling sales and profits can't really be blamed on the gas crisis (yea, I've personally elevated it to the status of crisis) in this case.  People should be flocking to one stop shopping centers, specifically discount retailers, like Walmart during a period of gas inflation.  The less stops you have to make the better.  

May want to go back to the drawing board guys, could be because of rising gas prices, but its more likely your merchandise may suck and your clientele makes shopping in your stores undesireable for the every day, sanitary, human being.

If I have a choice of paying a few cents more at Target to shop in somewhat of a civilized setting I'll take it any day of the week. Clean it up guys, maintain some level of decency and order in your stores and maybe people will come back.  If I have to keep navigating unruly children who've been dropped off to your store as a form of day care, while dodging Land Monsters dressed in impossibly tight sweat pants and T-shirts 1 size too small I'm going to continue shopping elsewhere, even if it costs me more in gas.

Politicians Ask, Should there be a Driving Tax...Umm There Already is, Like 4 of them Actually.

NEW YORK - Lawmakers in Washington are pondering a new idea to help raise funds to fix highways and infrastructure. The national driving tax -- officially known as a "vehicle miles traveled" tax -- would charge motorists by the mile, CNN reported. The tax could either replace the current 18.4 cent a gallon federal gas tax or add to it. The current gas tax that funds the federal government's efforts to build and maintain highways is not generating enough money because greater fuel economy is letting motorists drive more miles using less gas. There's currently no bill proposing such a tax, but lawmakers are looking into it. Since motorists are already paying near-record gas prices, the driving tax could be a tough sell. A similar idea was proposed by Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick in 2009. Patrick wanted to use GPS chips in vehicles to charge people for the miles they drive. The plan is s called a “Vehicle Miles Traveled” program and would replace the gas tax by 2014.

Umm, WHAT?!  So what exactly does my gas tax count as? Or the excise tax, or buying new tires every time one of the  pot holes that the state didn't use my afforementioned taxes on to fix blows a tire, or toll booths, registration fees, License renewal fees, and State Inspection fees.  Do those not all count as taxes on driving?  

Should there be a tax on driving? How about go fuck yourself for even bringing this up.  I'm going to come down to the State House with a big sign that just says fuck you if this makes it to the vote.  

How about we tax you for being government hacks?  No, your income tax, real estate tax, and whatever else you pay isn't enough. We just need to tax you for existing and going about your day just like this would for the average normal person.  Pricks.  

 

Here's an idea, cut pensions, make public workers work until they're 65 like the rest of us, revamp medicare and social security, and stop padding government contracts, and for the love of God stop funding Pakistan.  If you've done all that, then come talk to me about additional driving taxes...Oh yea, and shut down the $7 billion loss of a toilet that is the US Post Office.  Sorry the days where an army of men riding on horses delivering letters being necessary has long passed, stop wasting our money.

Mother Run's Down Daughter with Car In Walmart Parking Lot (with video footage!)

ABC - A mother in Sandusky is facing charges, accused of running over her 19-year-old daughter in a Walmart parking lot. Police say Michelle Touma was fighting with her daughter Emily before the incident. Surveillance video shows the girl getting out of the car and hitting the hood. Then mom pulls forward, clipping the teen. Officers say the mom claims she was going to drive by with her window down and smack her daughter in the head in retaliation for striking the vehicle. Instead, Michelle knocks Emily to the ground, runs over the girl's foot, then gets out of the car. Area mothers say kids need discipline, but not that kind. "That's outrageous. That's your child. No matter what they did or said you shouldn't react like that," said one mother. The teen was treated for her injury and released. As for her mom, she's charged with aggravated vehicular assault and domestic violence.

Just because I'm starting to feel compelled to bring you any random events or happenings at Walmart at this point...

Someone might want to coach the mother on lines to use when being questioned with the cops in the future.  I kind of feel something along the lines of "my foot got stuck on the gas," would have been better than "I swerved to smacker her in the head out my window and accidentally ran her over."  I'm just not sure that defense will play well with a jury.


PS: Safe to say whatever they were arguing over, the teen won, right? I mean once your mom runs you over in a public parking lot I'd imagine she's pretty much wrapped around your finger for a while.

I thought Boston's Public Transportation Sucked, Boarding A Bus in Russia Requires a Machine Gun

I'm gonna go ahead and assume that the usual bus fare was waved, and you know what, I think I'm ok with that.

Wow, and I thought catching a cab after a night of drinking otuside Faneuil Hall was a bitch.  Life's hard as hell over there in mother Russia.  Gotta pull a sub-machine gun just to board public transportation?  Maybe we should be bitching just a bit less about the MBTA after seeing this. 

PS: LOVE the guy in the back seat who just waved at him once he shouldered his weapon.  Just a casual hello, like they share the same commute each day, just crazy Boris being Boris.

Amazing Footage of Alabama Tornado from the Inside

Wow, the stupidity level down South is just on a whole other level, even higher than I had previously assumed...

Here's the thing, I don't want to be mean, but if I see on the news that an Armageddon like tornado is coming to my apartment complex, I'm not grabbing the flip cam and casually sauntering out to my porch.  I'm heading for the basement, or if I have time I'm hopping in my car and off-roading my ass clear cross the county to safety.  Just the logical side of me I guess.

Additionally, how fucked up of a place do you have to live in where you can't immediately assume that the gigantic tornado outside your front door is the same one they've been reporting about on live TV?  "Is that it?" Umm yea, buddy I think there's a good chance that's it.  Just how often do these babies roll through your neighborhood anyway?

Man Stabs Another Man over Cannoli Dispute In Massachusetts

HAVERHILL - A Massachusetts woman says her ex-husband was stabbed in an argument over cannolis.
Serena Clohisy of Haverhill testified in district court Monday that her former husband, Patrick Clohisy, came to her house May 5 to give their 11-year-old daughter a box of cannolis. Clohisy says her live-in boyfriend, 44-year-old Michael Magyar, threw them away. The Eagle-Tribune reports that when her ex-husband found out, he was upset and told her he was coming over to talk to Magyar. She says she heard noises minutes later and went outside and saw the two men. Her former husband was bleeding. Magyar told a 911 operator that he stabbed Clohisy but told police he acted in self-defense after Clohisy punched him. Clohisy survived the stabbing. Magyar is charged with armed assault with intent to murder and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.


This is going to sound shocking, but I can kinda see where this guy was coming from, stabbing him over cannolis that he had every right to throw out.


So let me delicately tip toe around this one.  I like cannoli’s, I do. But I don’t think they’re the end all, be all, great desert.  And I can see how this creates conflicts, because people who love cannolis, really fucking love cannolis.  People waiting in 100 deep person lines in the north end just to snag a cannoli.  Nevermind that theres’ a shop ever 60 feet selling the things.  I lived in the north end for a year and all I ever heard from family and friends outside the city when I was coming home was if I could bring some cannolis.  People, they sell other stuff, you know that right?


So the fact that this guy chucked the canolis doesn’t phase me, and the fact that he had to stab a dude trying to defend his right to throw the pastries out also doesn’t shock me.  Probably just another rabid cannoli fan who hung out for way too long on the side of the road in boston on a Saturday night pissed off that he wasted his time for nothing.

Man Celebrates his 25,000 Big Mac By Eating a Whopper...Nah, Just Kidding

Fox News - How many Big Macs have you eaten in your lifetime? Well, a Wisconsin man knows exactly how many of the iconic burgers he’s scarfed down over the years, and the number will probably blow your mind. A special ceremony was planned Tuesday afternoon at McDonald’s in Fond du Lac for Don Gorske. That’s because, since 1972, Gorske has eaten at least two Big Macs a day, which means the 57-year-old will be eating his 25,000th Big Mac on the 39th anniversary of eating his first. The Fond du Lac man says he ate nine on May 17, 1972 and has only missed nine days since then, for various reasons. He has kept most of the boxes or receipts or has made specific notes in calendars that he’s kept. Gorske says he probably has an obsessive-compulsive disorder but he doesn’t consider it a problem. He jokes that 25,000 is a milestone because people didn’t think he’d live this long. But he says he recently saw a doctor who said he was in good health and his cholesterol is low.

Probably obsessive compulsive? Buddy you kept wrappers and receipts for a sandwich (yea it’s a sandwich, if it comes from Mcd’s, Wendy's, or the king, it’s a sandwich not a burger) that’s costed anywhere from .50 cents-$1.49.  What did you think the IRS was going to audit you on your lunch expendires over the last 30+ years?

And two things on the picture, 1, totally looks like the kinda guy that would have spent the last 30 years eating 25,000 big macs (and apparently as many as 9 in one day, guy's toilet paper bill must be off the charts, must have to buy direct, no middle man department stores for him, straight to the source).  2. the picture was taken in 2008, you could have told me it was from 1972 and I wouldn’t have even blinked.  I question that it’s from 2008 more than if you told me it was a home Polaroid shot.