MBTA Bus Driver Crashes After Being Attacked By Kids Smoking on the Bus

BOSTON - An MBTA bus crashed into a Roxbury barber shop on 370 Dudley Street yesterday.

T officials and witnesses that spoke to FOX 25 say that the driver was being assaulted by passengers on board when he lost control of the bus, crashing it. The fight allegedly started when the bus driver asked a passenger to put out a cigarette.  When the driver got back to his seat, witnesses say a group of people started kicking and punching him, forcing him to lose control. One person was caught between the bus and the building after the crash for nearly 40 minutes. The Boston Fire Dept. removed the person using a hydraulic lift.  According to witnesses, that person may possibly be a suspect in the assault.

If the world were a Just place all of this kid's miscreant, drains on society, future welfare recipient and wards of the state friends would have been trapped under the bus with him.  I don't wish death on anyone, but I'm not above hoping you get maimed by a bus pancaking your ass for shit like this.

 Driving a bus for a living flat out sucks.  I know this because riding a bus sucks.  I ride the bus in only the most extreme or desperate situations.  And even when that happens I feel like I automatically stoop like 3 class levels lower in society.  Legit, last time I rode the bus was a day when the T was down (shocking), I was hungover as shit and at one point had to get off to throw up like 2 feet away from the front tire, and reboard the bus.  No one even shrugged or batted an eye when I reboarded, I was officially just another bus person that day.  The city bus is pretty much the only place where the norms of society cease to exist. 

And that's a normal frigen day, happens all the time.  So imagine being the guy who has to drive that bus all day everyday.  All this guy wanted was for these illegitimate bastard kids (yea I'm making the bold assumption that they don't come from a two parent house hold, real stretch, I know), would heed the non-smoking rule, you know for the rest of the non-brain dead society who realized smoking is horrible for your health. 

But no, not only do they crash the bus like a bunch of fucking morons, but they also ruined everyone's day that was trying to get there hair did in the barbershop.  Not cool guys, not cool.

Mall in England Offers Girls Cash to Shop In Sexy Underwear, Looks Like a Smashing Success

NY Daily News - Here's one way to get people to go shopping - offer women money if they show up at a mall in sexy underwear. That's exactly what happened at Lakeside Shopping Center in Essex, England, on Sunday. The first 100 women to arrive in nothing but bras, panties and high heels were given £100 ($163) gift vouchers, which were good in many of the mall's stores. It is unclear how many turned out, but several young women were onhand to engage in some revealing shopping. "We loved seeing all our luscious ladies looking gorgeous in their underwear and heels," said Kylie Minor, a spokeswoman for the shopping center. "I'm sure they all enjoyed choosing an outfit from our wide range of new spring fashion in the stores afterward." The promotional gimmick was engineered to promote the new spring fashions available at the mall.

 How come whenever something like this happens in the states you invariably end up with this (totally not ok to click if you're at work).  Heffers and land monsters left and right, broads that look like they've never even seen a razor, or a tub for that matter.

What is so different in the UK? Don't they come from the same puritanical background that we do? Shouldn't they be littered with ugly feminists all to willing to show off their perishables (because you can't call them goods...HEEYYYYOOO), and cute girls smart enough to realize that they don't have to give it away for free?  

I feel like we're getting the raw end of the deal here.  Like we won the Revolutionary War, and freedom is great an all, we don't have to pay taxes on tea anymore which I suppose is a good thing. But something tells me the Brits are over there snickering at us as instead of just paying a few cents extra for a bag of earl grey, they've now been deporting generation upon generation of ugly and prudish broads as punishment.  

Guess it's just one of those proverbial, won the battle, lost the war cases.

Canadian Man Erects Crucifix and Noose on Front Lawn, Still Not Biggest Racist in Town

The Star - A Campbellford artist celebrated for his design of the toonie has drawn the ire of his community after he erected a 5-metre cross on his lawn and hung a noose from the top. Brent Townsend knows the display is especially controversial in a town that gained notoriety last Halloween when a Ku Klux Klan getup won first place in a costume contest.  “I’m not trying to stoke racial fires ... It’s a symbol of mistreatment,” Townsend told the Star on Saturday. “It’s not a hate crime. If anything it’s a hate crime against me. I’ve been a victim.” Campbellford resident Troy Varty said it was “bad enough” when one man dressed in a white cloak and draped in the Confederate flag led another in blackface through a party at the Legion with a noose last Halloween. The duo won first place in the costume contest.

I had this whole blog ready to talk about what a dick this guy is for questioning why everyone was upset with his latest "art work" and then I read about the town's recent Halloween costume contest.   Listen I'm not defending the merits of this guys anti-semitist symbolism he's got going on in his front yard, but I think to the point where your town just awarded a guy dressed up like the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan toting around his "boy" 1st place in a costume contest, you've probably just got to turn your eyes from this one.

Sorry,  but if pretending to be walking around town with your slave up for auction is prize worthy than this guys art should be equally respected.  I'm not sure I understand the outrage here either.  It's ok to mock black people but not play off the Catholic/Jewish tensions come Easter time? That seems a bit hypocritical to me guys.

By the way, maybe we've been underestimating Canada? Maybe they're not the peaceful, "love they neighbor" society we all thought they were? Sure they still run faster from a war or conflict than your average fleeing French army, but this is an edgy and dark side to Canada I didn't even know existed.  What happened to the innocent, afraid of the dark, maple syrup chugging, flannel lovers that we've grown to know?

You've changed Canada, you've changed.

NASA Wants Airplanes Wrapped In Lighning Proof "Magic Skin"

Fox News - We've seen Boeing's "Ultra Green" aircraft mock-ups and MIT's "double-bubble" concept before, but an interesting new technology is being funded over at Cessna: a self-healing "magic skin" that would protect the exterior of an aircraft from lightning, impact damage, extreme temperatures, and even electromagnetic interference (EMI).

Oh, you guys are dirty down there, huh NASA?  Magic Skin, come on, this is a late April Fools day joke, right? I can't be the only one that's noticed this image looks exactly like a condom.  I'm surprised the description didn't read like:

Self-healing, protects from lightning, impact damage, extreme temperatures, and even STD's

It's almost like they took the design and the description right off the back of a Trojans Box.  Pretty clever for a bunch of science nerds. 

Kim Cattrall Stepping Out of Her Comfort Zone, To Play Washed Up Porn Star in New Movie

 Fox News - Kim Cattrall became a household name when she embodied the role of the sexually-charged, uber-confident Samantha Jones in HBO’s hit “Sex & the City.” But since the much-loved television series ended in 2004, and with no word of a third movie in the pipeline, Cattrall isn’t afraid to admit she has become just another aging Hollywood actress struggling to score a decent job...So its no surprise Cattrall jumped at the opportunity to play the multi-layered role of a washed-up porn star living in a trailer park in rural Indiana in the new independent comedy film “Meet Monica Velour.” But despite having been in the business for over 35 years, she claims to be far from the top of Hollywood’s 50+ hot list.

So she's playing herself right? I mean is there even acting involved here? I just assumed Kim had officially changed her name to Samantha Jones a few years ago just to make it easier on everyone.   Seriously, are the writers just writing Kim's real life story?  I mean if you had told me she was living in a trailer park in rural Indiana right now, I'd believe it.  Just living up her glory years at local bars, waiting for producers to call her for another Sex & the City sequel. 

I guess you do have to applaud her range somewhat.  I mean she is going from playing a high class, rich slut to just playing a slut.  She'll have to lose that stuck up, snotty air of importance that she normally incorporates.  But I'm assuming after making your career showing your tits and spreading your legs for every male actor you've ever been cast with she'll be able to adapt.  She's a professional after all.

Applebees, Your Local Neighborhood Bar and Grille, Serving Toddlers Alcohol since 2011

Come on kid, at least hide it in a Sippy, you're obviously not of age.

Daily Mail - A 15-month-old boy was rushed to a hospital after he was accidentally served alcohol in a kids' meal at an Applebee's restaurant. Dominic Dill-Reese started acting strangely after drinking what his mother thought was apple juice from his cup at the restaurant in Madison Heights, Michigan. Taylor Dill-Reese said: 'He was saying hi and bye to the walls and then eventually lay his head on the table.'  'He dozed off a little bit and woke up and got real happy.' But before leaving, Dill-Reese tasted the toddler’s drink and got a big surprise. She found alcoholic margarita mix was in his cup instead of apple juice. She said: 'The manager came  and he smelled it and he was like, ‘I am so sorry ma’am, I just don’t know what to do.' After being checked over by doctors the family later learned that Dominic's blood alcohol level was .10 - over the legal limit for adult drivers.

Come on folks, this is bar tending school 101 here, know your patron.  All it takes is 1 light weight, 1 guy slurring his words, 1 guy all of a sudden coloring outside the lines, one guy refusing to ride in his car seat, 1 guy refusing the breathalyzer and not being able to crawl a straight line, and your liquor license is gone.  

And in this cutthroat economy, if toddlers can't go to you for their fix they'll go down the street.  Kids aren't begging their parents to go to Applebee's for the baby back ribs, they're fiendinng for the alcohol in a children's sippy cup special. 

I Can't Wait To Stop Hearing About this Goddamn Royal Wedding and it's God Damned Guest List

Daily Mail - The official guest list for the Royal Wedding has been revealed - and it is raising eyebrows. While Barack Obama and his wife Michelle failed to make the cut, the list of colourful characters includes a U.S. banker whose family funds right-leaning blog Politico and who was criticised for his friendship with Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet. Joe Albritton will join newlyweds Prince William and Kate Middleton for their wedding breakfast at Buckingham Palace. Some 650 people have been invited. Of those, 50 have been invited by the Queen, 250 by Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall, and 100 by the Middletons. William and Kate themselves have invited 250. The names include everyone from friends and family to the great and the good. But by far the most surprising are those who have been invited by Prince Charles. Along with Mr Albritton, he has also invited a Transylvanian count, a Nazi's nephew, and a Kazakh tycoon. 

Are we about through dissecting this Royal Wedding List and the fact that the Obama's were snubbed? Can this wedding just happen already and be over with, soon.  

I totally don't get why people are making a big deal about the Obama's not being invited to this.  Basically by not getting invited all they did was save Barry from sending back the awkward "no" RSVP.  I mean it's not like they know them well, and it's not like this kid is even next in line to be king.  He's got to wait  out his Dad, who has been a momma's boy Prince for like 30 years now.  

Plus this country is in a financial crisis, how do you think it would play if the First Family boards an international flight to Buckingham Palace, gifts in hand for some foreign Prince they barely know? And it's not like you can just toss 150 bucks in an envelope and call it a day, this is the Royal Wedding.  We're talking about a minimum of Fabrege Eggs and a vacation home in the Keys, or at least some sort of time share contract in the White House.  

So yea, I'm pretty sure Michelle and Barry are at home breathing a sigh of relief right now.  They got enough shit to worry about nevermind some kids wedding, that only happens to be important because the Brits are still stupid enough to believe that their Royalty are descended from God.  Morons.

Is the Bamboo Privacy Fence Commercial the Most Racist Ad of All Time?

Finally, a decent solution to block all those annoying African Tribal chants my neighbors have each weekend.  Sure they may say it's just a family gathering or a nephews birthday, but I know ebonics when I hear it.  You can't fool me, it may just look like your run of the mill BBQ early in the day but I'm fairly certain the headdresses, tribal chants, and animal sacrifices are right around the corner.

By the way, never have I had a bizarre bike neighbor that looked like that...That said I'd still be pissed and put up this bamboo blocker.  Nothing worse than the neighbor who thinks the whole street wants to hear them rev their bikes for 10 minutes before taking off in the morning. Go fuck yourself assholes. 

Ain't No One Tryin' to Get To Sesame Street Back in the 50's. Muppets were Straight Gangsta

Muppet Wikia - In 1957, Jim Henson was approached by a Washington, D.C. coffee company to produce commercials for Wilkins Coffee. The local stations only had ten seconds for station identification, so the Muppet commercials had to be lightning-fast -- essentially, eight seconds for the commercial pitch and a two-second shot of the product. From 1957 to 1961, Henson made 179 commercials for Wilkins Coffee and other Wilkins products, including Community Coffee and Wilkins Tea. The ads were so successful and well-liked that they sparked a series of remakes for companies in other local markets throughout the 1960s. The ads starred the cheerful Wilkins, who liked Wilkins Coffee, and the grumpy Wontkins, who hated it. Wilkins would often do serious harm to Wontkins in the ads -- blowing him up, stabbing him with a knife, and smashing him with a club, among many other violent acts.

 Wow.  The muppets were straight gangsta in the early days, huh? "Deading" fellow hoods for their brand of coffee?  Looks like life was a lot more serious on Sesame Street before they all became rich PBS stars, I guess we know how Snuff got his name now, must have been the most ruthless, lethargic mastodon in the game.  Just goes to show money will change some folks (well except Oscar I guess)

PS: They can call that cat Wilkins all they want, but I know Kermit when I see him.  Sure he may have gotten a nose job and added some artificial ears since back in those days, but can you blame him? Exceedingly rich from TV and coffee deals, and on the run for Murder in the 1st? Of course the guy changed up how he looked and got a new ID, that's Godfather 101.