When Is It Time To Quit?

CNN - It's hard to quit a job, especially these days. It takes courage to realize that your current position just isn't for you, then tender your resignation and head back into an unstable job market.

Yet sometimes, things happen that make it a whole lot easier to leave. Whether it's a ridiculous outburst from your crazy boss, the realization that you have to persuade yourself to get out of your car and go into your office each morning, or just another sleepless night worrying about work -- sometimes, we just have those "Aha!" moments and we suddenly know we've been pushed over the edge and there's no turning back. It's quittin' time.

And the article goes on to list a few people's scenarios surrounding their decision to quit. To no one's surprise CNN only published the stories where the subject ended up happier in the end because it was "the best decision they ever made."  But I have to wonder, how many submissions did they receive were along the lines of;

 

"I was really bored in my job, because of the economy and lack of turnover I felt like I was going nowhere and decided it was time for a change.  Upon quitting I realized that maybe starting a job search in the middle of a great recession was a terrible idea. I was jobless for 6 months before taking this job at McDonalds making a fraction of what I made before and serving assholes from my former job McRibs on their lunch break as they laugh at the string of decisions I made."   

I assume they received more e-mails like that than any others, why show the rosy side of quitting? Because they're a liberal slanted media outlet and Liberals want you to think its always roses and sunshine, if you don't feel like doing something or it gets too hard then just quit, something good will come along.  Bullshit. I rarely lash out at CNN but their Career advice articles are constantly full of optimistic ramblings designed to blow smoke up your ass and get you to ignore the realities around you.  A little realism wouldn't hurt every now and then (for the record the woman in the story that had a stapler thrown at her head was the only one who had just cause to up and quit, that shit hurts, my stapler once fell off my top shelf and cracked me in the forehead).

Note that I'm not quitting, or even think of quitting.  Sure I'm on a meteoric rise to a job that I'll in all likelihood hate once I get there, but I'm going to ride that shit out.  If this morning has taught me anything its that full time blogging from home is definitely not an option for me.  I've been up for 2 and a half hours and I literally had to force myself to write this lazy excuse for a blog.  And then it dawned on me, its because this is work today. On a normal day this is a quick release, a way to keep myself from becoming a corporate clone like everyone else.  Today its just a job and that sucks, so no, there will be no full time Alt-Tabs.  Not yet anyway (not to mention that the lack of ads, sponsorship or traction among readers will make it pretty difficult to get by).

Big Day Tomorrow

4 Day weekend coming up for CW, only I gots no real plans to speak of for tomorrow so I've decided to try living the life of a full time blogger for the day.  Wake up around 10, watch some Sportscenter, eat some cereal in my boxers, and then browse the internet and report on what I find all day long, maybe fit a shower in there somewhere, who knows?  The only thing thats certain is I'll be making blogging history with the Alt-Tabs first full time day of work.

As most of you don't know, or even care to know, this site was started the last time I was bored at home on a day off from the cube farm.  The result of that decision has been a steady stream of insight into my rants, thoughts, opinions, thoughtpinions, and musings on a wide, yet shallow range of topics.  The only problem is that stream has been constricted to only my friends and pretend friends (via facebook).  Well no more.  I'm going to make a point of going down and joining the cheap bastards who mooch off the free wi-fi of Panera and Starbucks to conduct some gorilla advertising the likes of which the public has seen countless times before.  It's not that I don't appreciate the 60 or so of you who visit, I just feel that my rather juvenile ramblings should  be shared with so many more and since you guys telling your friends one at a time each Friday like I ask you to do ( you are doing that right? Right?) doesn't seem to be increasing the readership it looks like I'll be taking it upon myself.

Mike And Molly

Fox News - A writer for Marie Claire magazine was forced to issue an apology Tuesday for writing an online opinion column in which she called overweight people "aesthetically displeasing" and compared them to alcoholics and heroin addicts...In her column, Kelly railed against the CBS sitcom “Mike and Molly” and compared watching an obese person to “watching a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroin addict slumping in a chair.”...

Among her criticisms were:

“I think I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything.”

 “I guess these characters are in Overeaters Anonymous. So ... points for trying?”

 “I have a few friends who could be called plump. I’m not some size-ist jerk.”

 “I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room.”

Ummm, so what did she do wrong here and why is she apologizing?  Look, what she says may be mean spirited, and probably would offend me if I were the size of those two land monsters (just like the term land monster would) but the woman writes a blog, its an expression of opinion, don't apologize.  She is not a politician, reporter or influence maker of any kind. I'm so tired of people having to apologize for expressing their opinions in a forum where people have a choice to listen or turn away. 

So she doesn't feel comfortable watching fat people beat around the bush (very large bushes in their case) about intimacy.  I think most people if they're being completely honest would agree here, its a bit unsettling and I certainly don't want to watch it while I'm eating anything.

The truly sad thing here is I think both of these people are actually decent actors and could be funny in just about any role, unfortunately they've been type cast as the fat people that they are and are forced to deliver food, clothing and other size related jokes to the background accompaniment of laugh tracks (your show sucks if you have to encourage your audience to laugh).  Where were all these people who were writing into Marie Claire about a blog with a readership barely larger than yours truly's when the writers of Mike and Molly were pitching a show loaded with fat jokes and fat people innuendos?  Shouldn't they be more outraged that the only job two Super Plus sized people could land (despite their talent) was a show that would poke fun at their size? Hypocritical politically correct assholes as usual.

Fun Things To Do At Work

Yeah browsing the internet and Alt-Tabbing it here can kill time and occasionally be fun but what do you guys do to really cut loose while at the office? Any games to speak of?  See today is my Friday and I'm looking to take slacking off to a whole new level today.  

Prior to becoming a lower level leader my old team used to have tons of games and pranks we'd play back and forth.  This was back when I enjoyed going to work, not so much any more.  I'm sure a large part of that has to do with joining the quasi-middle manager ranks,  you lose all the shenanigans, pranks and camaraderie that you have as an entry level worker.  Its similar to how kids lose their imagination and creativity once they start hitting the teen years (of course the analogy falls apart there; teens lose their imagination because they're too distracted by their hormones and the pursuit of one day having sex, I've lost my fun and shenanigans because of responsibilities, nagging clients and never ending excel sheets).  I'm changing that today, having a throw back day of sorts, I'll be bringing back some of the activities of my younger years before I became a corporate shill, feel free to join me or put my ideas in play at your place of business:

Elastics: Pretty straight forward, four or five of us would raid the supply closet and have all out war for the work week.  We had one rule, no straight on shots, didn't need anyone yelping in pain giving the whole thing away.  But shots deflected off the ceiling, cube walls, computer screen etc...were encouraged.

Crosswords: Find the simplest crossword puzzle you can in one of your areas free newspapers, pick up a bunch of copies and distribute to your friends.  Race to finish, googling is aloud but you'll receive the appropriate amount of shit from the purists among us.  This is time killing, fun and decreases productivity for a whole group of people.

Nerf Gun Wars-  You have to be careful with this one in the 0 tolerance world we live in now.  But back a couple years ago my whole team of 8 or 9 people had arsenals of nerf guns that we'd break out when elastics just weren't getting the job done (I even had a nerf sniper rifle that shot up to 80 feet with a scope). This is extremely fun but hard to hide so you'd better hope your office is ok with this type of tom-foolery.

Cologne Wars- Its pretty simple, find the worst smelling cologne or perfume you can (Brut for men works well, you can buy it at Walgreens) and spray it in unsuspecting co-workers cubes (on their chair, on a napkin hidden under the desk, in a drawer, you get the idea), hope they don't tie it back to you and watch them exact pay back on an innocent team member.

Barricading Absent Cubes- A team building effort corporate would be proud of.  Its exactly as it sounds, gather a group, and block off or fill someones cube with boxes and stacks of paper.  This can also be used in a spiteful way if you have someone that's calling out to often and pushing all their work off on you.  Load up that cube while they're out and let them come back into the mess.

Little Jersey Shore

Someone call child services, I think Vinny's been kidnapped.

Obama Gets his Payback

PROVIDENCE, R.I.—The Democratic candidate for Rhode Island governor, widely seen as more conservative than the independent seeking to lead the heavily Democratic state, said Monday that President Barack Obama can "shove it" after learning Obama would not endorse him.

Well at least the day wasn't a total loss for the Pres. Sure the Democrats lost control of the House, and their control of the Senate is very much up for grabs.  But at least the Pres was able to escape complete embarrassment in sending Caprio to the losers circle (yea its still early in the night but this looks sure enough).

Make no mistake about it, if Obama managed to lose House and Senate control all while being mocked by a political nobody like Caprio with no repurcussions I would have launched a full fledged appeal for his impeachment.  The guy is already a softy, we didn't need Putin and Chavez thinking our President can be pushed around by DJ Paulie D wannabees from Rhode Island. We would have had to do some of that bearing of arms against the government that my man Basil Marceaux was talking about.

Wasted Talent

His showmanship might be worth dick but he gets an A+ for creativeness.  This guy certainly shouldn't be wasting away teaching math in what looks to be a community college classroom.  He'd probably be better suited to coming up with commercials for someone like UPS. 

I'm so tired of seeing that smarmy, smug, Mona Lisa looking asshole doodling on his whiteboard.  How long can that guy live off of one stupid idea?

Meet Basil Marceaux.com

Whoa! You scared me, thought you were a cop (you do know impersonating a cop is a felony right).

 Honestly, what this guy needs is a Milli or Vanilli out here lip synching this speech for him.  He's clearly a lucid thinker but his walrus like image isn't impressing anyone.  But his underlying point is right, we can't defend ourselves against the government with slingshots and stones while they have patriot missiles, we need to arm up.  Every man, woman and child needs to have a rocket launcher for their protection and Basil is the guy to get that done.  That's what the constitutional writers would have wanted.  Because if we can't defend ourselves against our own government the whole system falls apart.  

If I can't march down to my governors office without my posse and our weaponry and tell them when I think they're doing a bad job then this isn't the America I want to be a part of.  Or maybe I'll just go the traditional route and vote against Deval Patrick today.


So as a reminder, its voting day today, do your constitutional duty and view my previous selections for political office...Jimmy McMillan and Phil Davison

PS. Did he have his last name legally changed to Marceaux.com? He knows that just because its the name of the website that its not really his  name right?

How Much Would You Pay for the Mystery Can?

Well if you worked where I do you would pay something like $4.00 or whatever ridiculous price the vending machines are charging right now.  Price gouging fascists.  But if we're talking a standard $1.25-1.50 here I don't see how you don't pick the mystery can.  Sure you could get stuck with something awful like Dr. Thunder or some sort of RC Cola, or worse, club soda.  But there's always the chance that you strike it rich with a Mellow Yellow or Jolt (orange flavor only, the rest sucked), or my all time favorite counter culture soda, Wild Cherry Pepsi.  That'll create some jealous looks. 

If someone other than me was crushing a mellow yellow while copy and pasting excel sheets while I'm stuck with a Fanta (how is that not one of the mystery options) I'd talk so much shit about their job performance and how they must have it in with some of the higher ups or slept with the right person.  I'd honestly rather know someone less deserving got a raise than me snagging some kinda Jones Soda while Timmy from HR hits the jackpot with the Wild Cherry Pepsi.  It's pissing me off just thinking about it (could just be because I'm thinking of HR).