Utah Officials Tracking "Goat Man"

Fox News - Utah authorities are working to identify a man spotted dressed in a goat suit among a herd of wild goats in the mountains of northern Utah. The photographer who snapped blurry photos of the individual, dubbed "goat man," told Fox affiliate KSTU-TV that he spotted the man Sunday as he was descending Ben Lomond peak, about 40 miles north of Salt Lake City. "He was clumsy, working his way down the cliff trying to catch up with the rest of the herd," photographer Coty Creighton told the station. "With the binoculars, I could clearly see it was a guy dressed up in a homemade goat suit." Creighton said the man appeared to be wearing heavy gloves so he could crawl on his hands and knees. He also said that at one point, the man lifted his mask and looked up at him for several minutes. "He kind of slouched down, like was getting nervous or was feeling really self-conscious," Creighton added. "He actually got off his hands and knees and sat on the hill for several minutes until he thought I was gone."...Douglass said wildlife officials received an anonymous call Thursday from an "agitated man" after the sighting was reported in local media. The caller simply said, "Leave goat man alone. He's done nothing wrong." ...He said he pulled out binoculars to get a closer look at the herd about 200 yards away and was shocked. The man appeared to be acting like a goat while wearing the crudely made costume, which had fake horns and a cloth mask with cut-out eye holes, Creighton said. "I thought, `What is this guy doing?' " Creighton said. "He was actually on his hands and knees. He was climbing over rocks and bushes and pretty rough terrain on a steep hillside." Creighton moved down the mountain and hid behind a tree, then began snapping photographs. "We were the only ones around for miles," Creighton said. "It was real creepy." 

Do You Goat Man! Do You! I hate clipping that much of an article, but really, what would you have me do, there's just too much there.

Poor guys day is ruined.

And how about Coty Creighton just blowing this guys spot up? Like yea he was feeling self conscious, guy sits at home, sews together a home made goat suit, craws on all fours for miles into the wilderness just for some alone time with his beloved goats, only to have some granola guy out on a walk about snapping photos of him from the hillside. That shit will make anyone uncomfortable. It's like when you were a little kid, maybe like, 8-9 years old, still a child, but old enough to have some inhibitions, can't go around acting willy-nilly like you did a couple of years ago. Maybe you sneak off to your parents basement to act out a favorite scene from the most recent episode of the Ninja Turtles, you're having a blast, round house kicking the air, using an old mop handle as a bow staff, and all of a sudden out of the corner of your eye you notice one of your parents is watching you from the stairs, so you pull this dudes move. You slowly transition out of fantasy land and sit there like nothing was going on until they get bored and leave.  We've all been there, we feel  you, goat man.

My Favorite Part of Winter: Cars Sliding Down Icy Streets

The guy didn't even laugh once...not a tee-hee, not a HA, not even a "lulz." Just honest to goodness documentation. I know I'm a bit more of an asshole than most, but how does one not crack up watching that Chevy do a perfect 360 and then go on about his way?

PS: At the first site of a some guy up the street standing in his yard video taping cars, I'm probably searching for an alternate route. If there's a guy willing to freeze his nuts off in the middle of a snowstorm just to capture footage of cars driving around, you know nothing good is going to come of traveling down that street...also, the car sliding sideways for 3 blocks in front of you is a pretty good indicator too.

Joe Schmo to Lambo Guy Must Hate His Life

The Thrill Of Victory. The Agony of Defeat. Rarely does one person get to experience such highs and lows within mere hours of each other, but when it happens, the comedown is often all the more painful. Just ask Santaquin, Utah resident David Dopp. The Frito-Lay truck driver won a green Lamborghini Murciélago LP640 Roadster, grand prize in the "Joe Schmo To Lambo" contest operated by Maverik gas stations and teamgive.org last month. Dopp, father of six, was finally presented the car on Saturday afternoon, after which he set about driving it around the neighborhood, giving rides to friends. His elation wouldn't last. Less than six hours after taking delivery of the Lamborghini, Dopp lost control of the 640-horsepower Italian, hopped a curb and spun it into an embankment 75 feet from the road. A witness, Miles Davis (yes, really), said that skid marks were evident on the road and that the car ended up facing the wrong direction. Neither Dopp nor his friend in the passenger seat were injured. Police say the accident was likely "speed-related," although Dopp reportedly says he was only doing 40-50 mph when he lost control of the car on a section of road with a 35-mph speed limit. Dopp maintains he might have hit some black ice or gravel.

The worst. What a disgrace. You didn't even open that thing up, crashed doing 40-50? Guy, a 1988 Toyota Corolla can handle corner going 40-50 mph, what the fuck happened? 

Here's the million dollar question though, does this guy sell the car, or keep it and continue out his average to below average existence (no offense David)? Doesn't sound like the damage should be too bad, just a fender-bender type thing so this should fetch a pretty penny. A quick search shows these things, brand new, and without an accident from some moron driver, fetching about $230k. That's a lot of bags of chips for a Frito Lay driver.

I always find myself debating this when I go to play the McDonald's Monopoly game or those car giveaways that I keep signing my parents up for in the mall, and I always hypothetically say you have to sell it. 

I mean you can't live in some small ranch house in Suburban Utah (actually, can you have a suburb if your whole state looks like a suburb? Like wouldn't Utah as a whole be a suburb of, like Vegas or something? I'm off subject), I'd say sell it and move to one of the real states now that you can afford to.