So The Topless Kate Middleton Story Isn't Going Away, Huh?

Click Here for More Stinky Pinky and Royal Funbag Photo's...Obviously NSFW

I honestly, honestly thought this story would be gone by this morning. Though I missed the ship on Friday for free gratuitious page views by using blog titles like "topless Kate Middleton," and tags like "Princess Kates tits"...Guess I'm in luck.

Call me naive but...these pictures suck. They're grainy, she looks flat/pancake-y, I just couldn't see how this story had legs...but then the Royal Family decided to take legal action, and then, the real kicker, veritable bastion of free speech and the First Amendment, Youporn, basically wrote a blank check to the photographer, who claims he has 100's more photos of the couple, sexual in nature. 

Well then. Usually I'm against people making a big deal and taking legal action against stories that should just go away on their own in a matter of days, but this I can understand. I mean, I don't know all the rules involved in becoming the queen, but I'm fairly certain somewhere on the list is don't get caught with your husband tossing you the shocker, and I think there's a clause that says something about if you're ever photographed getting stuffed on a balcony by the prince you're ineligible...Again, I'm no Royal expert, but I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere.

Memo To Prince William: You're A Prince, Take it Easy on the Action Hero Stuff

Daily Mail - The Duke of Cambridge helped pluck two shipwrecked sailors from a raging sea in a dramatic rescue, but five other crewmen were missing feared drowned last night. Prince William’s RAF search and rescue helicopter was scrambled in the early hours yesterday after the 267ft Swanland sank with its cargo of 3,000 tons of limestone after being hit by a massive wave off the North Wales coast. He was co-piloting the Sea King in 50mph winds as the crew from his base, RAF Valley in Anglesey, spotted the second officer and a crewmate in the sea and winched them to safety.

What an arse, being a Prince isn't enough, you've gotta be some kind of super hero too? Come on guy, leave the rescuing people routine to the rest of us simple folk who didn't grow up in Buckingham Palace, and haven't had British girls aged 13-55 fantasizing about us since the time we were like 12 and grew our first chin hairs. The fuck man. Go do Prince things, smile, wave, cut checks to things like "Save a Baby Seal foundation" or something, this is just overkill, and frankly, us normal folk are sick of it. 

Don't get me wrong, we're glad you saved that person, we just don't need you piloting the helicopter, it's probably hard enough being English and competing with a Royal Family for the non-bucktoothed girls of England, never mind having to deal with Rambo-Prince and his Ginger Brother.