Craigslist Missed Connections: You Farted in Trader Joes

If wafting a strangers fart with two loaves of Ciabatta bread at your local Trader Joes isn't love at first sight, then I don't know what is.


I have a serious question about these things, do people just do them for comedy or has anyone actually met up based on a Craigslist missed connection...My thing is, do you really want to meet up with someone that answers anonymous missed connections on CL? Seems like at a minimum there'd be a screw or two loose there, no?

Then again maybe you're not so fast to judge others if you're the one posting missed connections on Craigslist hoping that you actually catch that one persons eye and are able to weed out the dozens of prostitutes, perverts/killers, and Nigerian spammers.

Best of Craigslist: Waiter or Waitress in the Westminster Area? Dream Job!

Original Posting Here

For those of you who are link averse and can't read microscopic print:

So it is time again for my wife and I to have our annual July 4th party. We are looking for one waiter and three waitresses for the party. But please read the rest of the story as Paul harvey would have said. This is Swingers party and we do 6 of them a year. The waiters and waitress must work in the nude basicly. you will be wearing an apron and flip flops. This again is a swingers party and the guests are all Bi sexual so you must also be comfortable with this type of life style. You are not expected to interact with the guests but you are here for eye candy so you need to be comfortable with the situation very out going in your personality so you can get them drinks and food and wait on them. Needless to say the guest will also be naked. If this sound good ot you hit me back iwth a photo of you and tellme somethign about you.

• Location: westminster
• Compensation: $25.00 per hour with a 5 hour minimum plus tips
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

By far my favorite part of the whole ad is: "Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster."

Yea, I don't think you have to worry about recruiters contacting you about catering for your orgy. Last time I checked Robert Half's website didn't have much in the way of nude catering jobs, sadly.

If you do go for this job, do you get to pick your own apron, or is this a mandatory uniform type thing?...If the waiter/waitress has carte blanche you'd be a fool not go with this little number:

Parent Promising New Macbook Pro to Gay Son To Act "Not Gay" Is A Goldmine

For those of you who can't read microscopic print:

"I don't want to get a ton of messages from you guys saying that I am spoiling my son and turning him into an entitled monster. There is a back story that you aren't aware of.  My son was committing homosexual acts and got caught in the act. We made a deal that if he chose to be straight, we would buy him more nice things. So don't message me saying that I am a bad parent for spoiling him. It's quite the opposite, I am a good parent and I'm working with him to correct his problem."

All right, so this came out yesterday and was found out to be a joke/hoax, some had a good chuckle, some were presumably offended, some probably assumed Rick Santorum was the one posting this...but I didn't see anyone point out that if you're a brat 10-18 year old kid, this is an absolute GOLD MINE.

I do guess it depends on how gullible and backwards thinking your parents are, first off they have to believe that homosexualness (definitely not a word) is a choice, secondly, you have to convince them that either:

A) you're experimenting with gayball stuff, but can transition back to straight if they spoil you, or...

B) You really are gay but have a sit down with your parents to convince them that for the price of a new smartphone and all the Xbox games you want, you think you can get into girls.

Plus, I think there's a pretty easy way to convince them of your new found lifestyle, without crossing any icky thresholds one way or the other.  If you're straight, maybe you bookmark a few gay porn sites on the family PC, if you're gay, you do the opposite, start slapping up some girl on girl links in your bookmarks.

You get new stuff, your family can run to the local Pastor and tell them about your miracle results, and Apples stock goes up as its found to be a miracle homosexual healer. Win, Win, Win.