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| Not this year Uncle Sam...those girls have work Thursday...Sucks, huh? |
It's a joke, an absolute joke. You just flat out cannot have the biggest summer holiday of the year on a goddamn Wednesday. It doesn't work. No one knows what to do.
Celebrate the weekend before? And risk having a bunch of no-shows at your weirdo, super early BBQ because they're afraid of going too hard on the first lap of the race with all the other potential parties looming later in the week? No thanks.
Celebrate the weekend after? For sure not. Throwing your 4th of July BBQ on July 7th is just setting yourself up for disaster, running the risk of throwing your party after everyone else already beat you to the punch. It'd be the Newmanium, Kramanium situation all over again.
Toss it on a frigen Wednesday? I guess it's the only feasible option, but it flat out sucks. So now I'm expected to go to a backyard pool party on a random Wednesday full on knowing that I'm going to be miserable/throwing up in the handicap stall at work the next day? Gee thanks.
Personally I blame the Founding Fathers for this mess. Pretty much the most important national holiday we got and we couldn't secure the coveted Monday/Friday time slot? What kinda bullshit is that.
We couldn't have pulled some kinda Easter like thing and said 4th of July is the first Sunday after the first full moon in July? Of just called it the first Friday of every July? I know the actual date is important but you're slapping that importance right in the face by making me choose to either drink responsibly or go hard and have a miserable day at work the next day....I mean what kind of world are we living in where someone like myself, a full blown American, had more fun celebrating Cinco De Mayo this year than I will the 4th of July. It makes zero sense. We're better than that. Either we start manipulating our calendars so the 4th of July falls on a Monday/Friday every single year and just say fuck the rest of the world, we're doing this...Or, we fall in line and follow the same Monday/Friday rules that Memorial and Veterans day follow so Americans everywhere never have to go through this nightmare again.
And if anyone can forward this to either Romney or Obama, I can guarantee them, they stump for this issue, its a guaranteed election. Guaranteed.
